June 26, 2004
COMPUTER (and other) PROBLEMS
First, a little back-story. I know a lot about computers. I could point you to a lengthy article I wrote about how to buy a computer, but it isn't available right now, as will soon become apparent.
In my home, I have about 10 computers. I am an anal-retentive control freak about them. They are each setup to do a job, and the important ones have backups. Kinda.
Laptop:
This laptop is the one I use to do _my_ work at work - if you know what I mean. :wink: :wink: Well, last week it stopped wanting to connect to the network at home. Then the shutdown option disappeared from the menu. Then it kept trying to reboot. And it won't perform an MS Update at work. Stupid OS. Probably a worm. Yes, it has anti-virus. Now I'm gonna have to reload the damn thing. But it's got a lot of important data that I can't backup because I can't get it to connect to the File Server at home. That's gonna take some creative copying to save the data and reload. It takes time, hours - perhaps days with my schedule. While annoying as fuck, it's not a big problem.
Web Server:
I have one *really* expensive server that hosts my e-mail, primary website, game server, dns, etc. It is a beast - dual CPU, dual drive controllers, 6 drives setup to mirror each other, and a power supply that doubles as a hair dryer. It has been running almost continuously for about 5 years. Only when
*really* bad things happen is it off. It runs on Linux. It's been acting up lately. I came home a couple of weeks ago and it was powered off. I live alone (well, a wonderful dog, but she doesn't go downstairs). The server has a UPS. It is physically impossible to shut this thing off remotely. Hmmm. Then it happened again a week later. This week, on Tuesday, I came home and heard a sound like the warbling of a British police car. It was coming from the computer room in the basement. Not.Good. This thing was complaining. Everything in this computer had a mirror to provide redundancy. Except the System Board. Everything is plugged into the system board. And it had taken a shit. Fucking. Great. Not only do all my other computers go out through that computer, everything coming in goes through that computer. Now I'm really fucked. The failed part is not "off-the-shelf", and replacing it has required me to get a different CPU, new memory, and a different power supply. Why? Well, because "technology advances" have made it so that new shit doesn't plug into old shit. Finding the exact replacement part isn't easy, provides no assurance that nothing else is about to fail, and will take time. And time is a luxury I don't have at this point. I didn't want to screw around playing "Is this the broken piece to the puzzle?" Well, $1,000 and two days later (special order!), I have the parts I need. I'll be spending this weekened installing the OS, upgrading, and configuring. At least I won't lose any data. But it's still a pain-in-the-ass. And my business is offline right now. That fucking sucks monster donkey balls. (And yes, I do have a spare DSL Modem - already programmed, spare network hubs and cables, and am working on a spare firewall.)
File Server:
In the (relative) silence that came with the shutting off of the "Industrial Hair Dryer", I noticed a soft ticking coming from another computer. WTF? Switching to that PC, I see a little icon flashing in the corner. The pleasant message informed me that the primary hard drive had failed (who knows when), and that it was running on the backup drive. The good news is that my anal-retentive nature of using RAID-Mirrored drives paid off. No data will be lost. The bad news is that another $200 and more time will be needed to replace the drive and bring my File Server back online. It holds all of my MP3's (about 20 gig of music). Plus it gets feeds from my other computers (aforementioned Web Server, plus the webLog Server that my webLogs run on, the laptop, Quicken files, pr0n collection, etc.) to backup their data. It has a DVD Burner so I can make archival copies to store off-site. Did I mention I am an anal-retentive control freak? So right now nothing is being backed up, and I can't crank up my favorite hate music. And that makes me cranky.
Right now I'm about to lose my fucking mind. I can appreciate that software fucks up and hardware fails. I plan for that. Fine. But three *major* things in one week? What.The.Fuck.Is.That? I'm gonna go play Keno just to miss all the damned numbers. This "incredible timing" has got me as frustrated as a blind man at a strip club. I feel like Harvey trying find his pecker on a cold day. 
Where in the hell is a good astrologer when you need one? You can't tell me shit this horrible wouldn't have shown up on even a *bad* fortune cookie. It probably would have read "Prepare for really bad mojo."
Oh, and I had a cavity found at my cleaning on Wednesday, so I had to have that drilled and filled ("Can you stay? We had a cancellation, we'll just move you to another chair."). And "While I'm here, I'm gonna replace this old silver filling with a new one." Oh joy, fun at the dentist. But, being the bad-ass-mother-fucker that I am, I skipped the Novacane and just had him do the work. Yeah it hurt. But what the fuck, might as well have some physical pain thrown into the mix. It can't make things worse. Besides, I scammed a script for Vico-prophin outta the deal.
But, getting that bastard filled was an adventure in looney-land. See, "Vico-" anything is a "Federally Controlled Substance". Let's follow along, shall we;
Pharmacy #1:
- "Can you fill this?"
- "Yes, do you have insurance?"
- "Yeah, but I'll just pay cash."
- "Then we won't fill it."
- "What?!"
- "Have a nice day."
Pharmacy #2:
- "Can you fill this?"
- "No, the script is pre-printed on the form. Your doctor has to write it out."
- "What?!"
- "You can have your doctor call it in."
- "It's 7 pm, dumbass."
Pharmacy #3:
- "Can you fill this?"
- "No, we're out of that."
- "Any suggestions?"
- Phone call to another store. "Yes, they have it a few miles away."
Pharmacy #4:
- "Can you fill this?"
- "Are you the one sent over from the other store?"
- "Yes"
- "Do you have insurance."
- "No"
- "OK. 15 minutes"
The things I go through to satisfy my addictions.... :/
Oh, but wait! It get's better! I got a letter from the Credit Union where I have my Personal and Corporate Checking Accounts. It said "We are no longer handling corporate accounts here at your friendly Credit Union. We hope that 90 days will be sufficient for you to find a new place to take your corporate business." Oh joy.
Oh, and I just remembered, my barber shop got bought out, and is being converted into a fruit market. I don't have much hair, but in my neighborhood, all the other barber shops have signs that don't include English. I'd prefer the person holding a straight razor to my neck be able to understand my instructions. I don't want my last memory to be hearing "Allah Akbar!". Just a minor detail of my anal-retentive control freakish-ness. (This paragraph is probably not politically correct, but it is accurate.)
Where do I sign up for a stint at Abu Ghraib? I think I'd rather have some butch-like-bitch pointing at my privates and laughing while her buddy takes a picture. :/
Posted by: Harvey at
12:00 AM
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An update;
- I installed a new drive at lunch and my File Server is back online with no fuss. RAID Array is nice...
- The Power Supply died on the webLog server, grrr, but I had a spare. That thing needed some dust cleaned out inside anyway.
- After beating the laptop to within an inch of it's life, it connected to the 'net. After 17 (!) critical updates and a new anti-virus, it is happy. It is also backed up to the (newly restored) file server.
- My Computer Genius friend is on his way over (7 am!) to reload the Expensive Hair Drier.
- Also, while out on Friday night, I ran into my former barber. He's retiring. sigh
Thanks Daddy...Posted by: _Jon at June 26, 2004 06:20 AM (RZ4Hy)
Posted by: Susie at June 26, 2004 09:17 AM (QYOUV)
Posted by: Boudicca at June 26, 2004 10:24 AM (aTpvK)
Thanks for the wishes of luck.
:Long Exhale:
Geeze, it is such a relief to know I lost nothing.
Just fooking huuuuuuge.
Thanks again for posting that Harvey. It really helped my sanity to be able to dump all of that and forget about it for a while.
Posted by: _Jon at June 26, 2004 11:24 AM (RZ4Hy)
Posted by: Harvey at June 26, 2004 03:02 PM (ubhj8)
Posted by: _Jon at June 28, 2004 03:01 PM (ZM3Qb)
Posted by: Harvey at June 28, 2004 11:59 PM (ubhj8)
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