June 24, 2004
Like the French, Jake will make loud, annoying noises for unimportant reasons. Unlike the French, Jake eventually shuts up.
Jake only smells REALLY bad when he's wet.
Jake doesn't respond with a haughty sneer when I speak English to him.
Jake has never voted Socialists into power.
When I do something nice for Jake, he doesn't piss on me afterwards.
Well, there was that ONE time, but he was just a puppy then.
Like the French, Jake sometimes makes big, stinky messes that someone else has to clean up. Unlike the French, Jake was never occupied by Nazis, so I don't expect him to know better.
Jake takes a bath several times a year.
Jake has never claimed that Jerry Lewis is funny.
Jake has never surrendered to the Germans. However, he does sometimes tremble uncontrollably and piss on the floor when he hears a loud noise, so I guess that one's a tie.
Jake has never asked me for assistance in fighting a war in one of his Southeast Asian colonies.
I had to finish off a woodchuck for him, once, but that was completely different.
The only time Jake ever interferes with my unilateral aggressions is when he sits on the unfinished sections of the lawn while I'm mowing the grass.
When I tell Jake to do something, he doesn't retaliate by f****** with me at a UN Security Council meeting.
Finally, Jake is a brave soul who would gladly risk his life to protect his loved ones, and he wouldn't be afraid to help liberate a foreign country to help accomplish this.
Unless doing so involve loud noises, in which case he would tremble, piss, and hide under the bed.
Posted by: Harvey at
10:38 PM
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Post contains 325 words, total size 2 kb.
Posted by: sarahk at June 24, 2004 11:52 PM (HtWwm)
Posted by: songstress7 at June 25, 2004 12:05 AM (95fiz)
Great post. 
Posted by: pam at June 25, 2004 08:05 AM (l6NIn)
Posted by: Evil Glenn at June 25, 2004 02:32 PM (a1D32)
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