...yet I'm nevertheless compelled to dive into the fray in the Great Pencil Sharpener War

In this corner, we have BeeBee of Angle of Vision, touting the glories of her Boston 55 Ranger.

And in the other corner is Velociman pimping his Berol Giant so hard that you half expect to see the man wearing a purple ermine jacket and a ostrich feather hat.

But I'm here to declare that both of you ancient fops are worthless & weak with your outdated technologies.

Behold the glory of...

The Yikes!

(click to enlarge)

Made of the finest space-age materials and sporting a psychotically multicultural array of diverse colors, this little beauty has two features you won't find in either of your clunky tin cedar-shavers.

First, it has a CLEAR reservoir, thus eliminating the false alarms and "when do I empty this stupid thing" guessworkery.

Second - and this an untouchable bit of design brilliance - you see that little lever? That operates the suction pad at the bottom. That's right. You can attach this gem to ANY SMOOTH SURFACE. Just flip the lever and your sharpener if firmly adhered to your desktop using the same pressure-differentiated aerodynamic magics that make airplanes fly.

Once everything's sharp, you just unflip the lever and tuck this mechanical marvel away in your office-supplies drawer. No visible marks left behind, much less any unsightly screw holes to fill. Completely re-usable and transportable.

This ain't your mama's pencil sharpener. This is the kind of cutting-edge technological genius that won the Cold War and destroyed the Berlin Wall (CAUTION: Figurative speech only. Not for use in dismantling actual oppressive Communist regimes).

THIS... is a PENCIL SHARPENER!

Posted by: Harvey at 06:11 PM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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