(A PRECISION GUIDED HUMOR ASSIGNMENT)

November 12 was the day that Yassir Arafat was finally buried, causing much celebration amongst the freedom-loving peoples of the world, as well as causing PeTA to protest the deliberate poisoning of innocent worms.

This date has been declared International Dead Terrorist Day (yes, I know he died on the 11th, but that day is already set aside to celebrate those who kill terrorists).

Here are some ways to celebrate International Dead Terrorist Day:

Tie together several dead terrorists like corn shocks and put them on your front porch.

Custom printed baby wipes that say "Help "wipe" out terror!"

Sprinkle sand in your beard to simulate a post-bullet-injected terrorist.

Shout "Allah akbar, but Marines are akbarer!"

Prepare a traditional terrorist meal of falafel, sand, and camel dung, then shoot it.

Shoot it twice. It might be just faking being dead.

Find a picture of Abu Musab al-Zarqawi and throw it in your toilet. Have a friend pee on it with you, so that the twin streams of urine can symbolize the Tigris & Euphrates Rivers.

Wear a turban. Laugh at how silly you look in it. Take it off & shoot it.

Twice... you know why.

Fart towards Mecca 5 times.

Bonus for lighting them.

Find a Koran and flip it open at random. Make funny sentences by taking words out of context from random passages, like, "Mohammed... love... hot... sheep and goats... now... good... like woman."

Oops. That one's actually in there. But you get the idea.

Steal some oil.

Check your septic tank to make sure there aren't any former Iraqi dictators hiding in it.

If you find one, shoot him twice.

Support the 101st Muppet Division.

Spend some time taking care of your Osamagotchi virtual terrorist toy.

Cook lots of turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, candied yams...

No, wait... that's Thanksgiving.

Nevermind.

SIC SEMPER TYRANNIS!

Posted by: Harvey at 04:53 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 314 words, total size 2 kb.