April 17, 2006

THIS IS HOW I FELT

...when I found out Comedy Central censored the "Cartoon Wars: Part 2" episode of South Park:

(click to enlarge)

(part of the South Park Republican Gallery at Justin's Random Thoughts)

Posted by: Harvey at 10:03 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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TODAY'S LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

Those times we are temporarily holding each other close are the times I would like to permanently stay.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

[Like the Love Notes? Get the e-book]

Posted by: Harvey at 09:15 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 33 words, total size 1 kb.

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(dollar with American Flag design]

The Treasury's new dollar bill design was rejected due to concerns that it might offend Arabs, illegal immigrants, and stupid people.

Posted by: Harvey at 09:14 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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GO NAVY!

Jim of Parkway Rest Stop offers a link to a video slideshow demonstrating the dozens of different things the Navy can send your way to kill you if you're dumb enough to make terrorist noises in the general direction of the US.

Hope the Iranians were paying attention. Last time they f'd with the USN, they had 8 boats go to Davy Jones.

Posted by: Harvey at 07:44 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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April 15, 2006

TODAY'S LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

When you're not here, something's missing...

My smile.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

[Like the Love Notes? Get the e-book]

Posted by: Harvey at 09:41 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 23 words, total size 1 kb.

HOW LONG SHOULD YOU KISS THE BRIDE?

I've been to a few weddings in the last couple of years, and I've always found myself raising an eyebrow at the "kiss the bride" segment, because the kisses were short, perfunctory, and absent of all but the most token passion.

By contrast, during my own wedding ceremony, the nuptual buss was long, deep, and enthusiastic. When it was finally finished, the minister's first words were "you may now STOP kissing the bride" (seriously, we've got it on tape).

So, how was YOUR wedding kiss?

If it was short, was it just because you were nervous, or maybe just intimidated by the throng of witnesses?

Also, do you think there's any correlation between the enthusiasm of the wedding kiss and the longevity of the ensuing marriage?

Posted by: Harvey at 05:38 PM | Comments (18) | Add Comment
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THE MUSICAL GUIDE TO BRA SIZES (aka THE NEW ALPHABET SONG)

Sent to me by Blogson _Jon of We Swear.

If Janet Jackson's Superbowl appearance offended you, you probably don't want to watch this.

Posted by: Harvey at 11:49 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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April 14, 2006

TODAY'S LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

I love your passion, you make me respond so easily. I feel your touch. I become so alive at the sound of your voice. I want to lay beside you 'til the end of time.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

[Like the Love Notes? Get the e-book]

Posted by: Harvey at 08:17 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 50 words, total size 1 kb.

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[Good Luck]

Question: What's 6.25 inches long and can help you get lucky?

Posted by: Harvey at 08:13 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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PUTTING MINIMAL EFFORT INTO IT

Blogson Blue Tige tagged me with a meme that I already did, which technically means I'm free to ignore it.

However, after reading this post by blogdaughter Boudicca of Skippy's Voice, I found a suitable Google Image:

hoop jumping

Googled "hoop jumping", without quotes.

Yeah, wrong gender, but that "you've gotta be f-ing kidding me" look on his face is perfect.

Posted by: Harvey at 08:12 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 69 words, total size 1 kb.

Reuters Maintains Journalistic Standards

(A Precision Guided Humor Assignment cross-posted from IMAO)

In their eagerness to shout "Dismal failure!" about the war, the Reuters news service blindly swallowed claims by Iraqi terrorists that they had video footage of them capturing a downed helicopter.

Well, they DID have footage - unfortunately the time stamp on it was March 19, 2000, and it was probably of a helicopter crash in Afghanistan.

So I guess I shouldn't have been TOO surprised over their coverage of the latest criticisms of Donald Rumsfeld (in the extended entry)... more...

Posted by: Harvey at 08:05 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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April 13, 2006

MEANWHILE AT ALLIANCE HQ

Filthy Lie Assignment Reminder: What are some signs that Evil Glenn is bringing about the Apocalypse? due by 11:59pm EDT Friday, April 14th. Late entries must be accompanied by a lame excuse.

Wednesday Linky Stuff

Charming Alliance HQ Hostess Susie does some spring cleaning on the blogroll. Check to make sure you didn't get swept under the rug.

Basil's Blog Tip: Avoiding "Naked Blog"

Precision Guided Humor Round-up: Reuters Hoaxes

New Precision Guided Humor Assignment: If the trailers found in Iraq weren't mobile biological labs, then what they actually used for?

Posted by: Harvey at 06:16 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 99 words, total size 1 kb.

TODAY'S LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

When you are so far away, I only think of the moment when I'll hold you in my arms... and breathe in your love, exhaling the purity of our souls combining together.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

[Like the Love Notes? Get the e-book]

Posted by: Harvey at 04:29 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 47 words, total size 1 kb.

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[Roy [smiley face]]

Presidential Fun Fact:

George Washington had a Cheshire Cat named Roy.

Posted by: Harvey at 04:25 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 22 words, total size 1 kb.

NEVER GOT AN INSTALANCHE

(with apologies to Dr. Hook & the Medicine Show for abusing their song "Cover of the Rolling Stone")

Well, I'm a small-time blogger
Not a big link-monger
But adored by everyone I know
I write about boobies and I write about love
But for it I got nothin' to show
I get all kinds of links from both heroes & finks
But the link that would make me dance
Is the link from Glenn to which I'd say "Amen"
But I've never got an Instalanche

(Instalanche) Wanna see my Sitemeter spikin'
('lanche) Wanna feel like Glenn's taking a likin'
('lanche) Wanna see my server crash
But I've never got an Instalanche

I got a freaky site design with a currency shrine
Just full of "I Grew Hemp"-stamped bills
I got love notes in my archives
Givin' the ladies thrills
Now, it's all designed to blow your mind
But the mind with which I've had no chance
Is the mind of Glenn - king of blogging men
'Cuz I've never got an Instalanche

(Instalanche) Wanna see my Sitemeter spikin'
('lanche) Wanna feel like Glenn's taking a likin'
('lanche) Wanna see my server crash
'Cuz I've never got an Instalanche

I got a lot of fanatical blog-tip groupies
Who do anything I say
I got a genuine tech-support Guru
Who helps keep the spam at bay
I got all the friends that linkage can buy
Who laugh when I make fun of France
I keep writin' & thinkin' but I can't get Glenn's linkin'
I've just never got an Instalanche

(Instalanche) Wanna see my Sitemeter spikin'
('lanche) Wanna feel like Glenn's taking a likin'
('lanche) Wanna see my server crash
I've just never got an Instalanche
Will I *ever* get an Instalanche?

(Man, I don't know why I ain't gotten an Instalanche, Baby)
(I'm a beautiful blogger)
(I ain't kiddin', why, I'd make the perfect link for Instapundit)
(Fresh link, top of the page, man)
(I can see it now, I'll be up on top of Technorati)
(Instalanche, man ...... ahh, beautiful!)

Posted by: Harvey at 09:56 AM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
Post contains 348 words, total size 2 kb.

DOES IT DO ANY GOOD TO EMAIL HIGH-TRAFFIC BLOGGERS? - UPDATED 4-14-06 7PM

(Following up on this post)


SUMMARY: Yes.

How?

Be brief, be polite, and only submit links that clearly fit the high-traffic blog's theme. Ask yourself, "am I certain that [high-traffic blogger's] readers would be interested in this?"

Also, don't be offended if you don't hear back. Your e-mail was very likely read, but only so many of the dozens or hundreds received every day can be responded to. Don't take it personally. It's just that there are only so many hours in a day that can be spent writing, and those have to be split between answering e-mails & blogging.


Last week I took my own advice and e-mailed 30 high-traffic bloggers as follows:

SUBJ:What's the best way to send an e-mail that you'll read? (short, no reply required)

First, please forgive the unsolicited e-mail, but I'm doing some research for a post on blogging, and I'm hoping you can help me.

Someone recently remarked to me that bloggers with high-traffic sites don't read e-mails from - or link to - anyone except other high traffic bloggers. I don't think that's true. I think it's more a matter of having a tactful approach, and I wrote a post saying as much:

http://badexample.mu.nu/archives/166595.php

Now, I'm sure you have other subjects to write about, and if you have no interest in this topic, I understand completely, so there's no need to act on this e-mail at all if you don't want to.

However, it occurs to me that you probably get dozens of annoying "please link this" e-mails every day. Discussing my post would give you a perfect excuse to school your readers on the art of sending you short, on-topic, useful e-mails instead of rambling junk - a topic that would normally be off-theme for your blog.

Whether you decide to link to my post or not, you have my express permission to quote this e-mail in full or in part.

I thank you for your time.

Sincerely,
Harvey Olson
Bad Example
http://badexample.mu.nu/

Since this experiment was all about site traffic, I did NOT limit myself based on a blog's political leanings, so I tapped a few of the big left-wing bloggers, too, as well as a couple blogs devoted to celebrity gossip.

However, I was most interested in seeing whether a "cold-calling" e-mail technique would work, so I *did* go out of my way to avoid bloggers who might actually recognize me and link me as a personal favor, thus no Blackfive, IMAO, or Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler.

Here's what happened:


Instapundit - Replied to my e-mail within minutes. Said that getting your e-mail read is a matter of timing - if he's away from his computer for a few hours, he gets too backlogged to even try to catch up.

Protein Wisdom - Replied promptly, saying he *does* read e-mails and responds if he has time.

AMERICAblog - Prompt reply, and I found one passage particularly enlightening as to why high-traffic blogs sometimes seem to be a closed society "I usually rely on emails from my readers for suggestions for links. And, big surprise, they usually send me links from the top blogs."

For some reason, I'd failed to consider that blogless readers send links, too, but I can certainly see how 10 e-mails that say "Look what Kos posted!" might carry more weight than a single "please link me".

VodkaPundit - Prompt reply AND a Vodkalanche! WHOO-HOO! Anyway, Stephen falls into the "don't have time to read it all, or respond to it, but I try" category. So it would appear that one key to getting your e-mail read is a subject line that's intriguing, yet doesn't sound like spam.

Right Wing News - Linked the same day. Also, he did what I had hoped - used the opportunity to share his own thoughts on e-mailing & site traffic in a thoughtful post. This is about as good as it gets when you send a link. Also, check his comments section for some good discussion.

UPDATE 4-14-06 7PM:
Outside the Beltway - linked the same day, and took the opportunity to add his own thoughts about how to get noticed. #4 surprised me a bit:

4. Make it easy. Give the blogger a two or three sentence–max–summary of the post if it’s long. Include a link to the post. Include the entire text of the post. Unless they are regular readers of your site and you have some sort of relationship, simply sending along a link to the post with the expectation that they will click through is not a great idea.

My initial thought was that including the full text would make the e-mail longer and thus less likely to be read. However, James is right. Saving your target reader the click and the wait for the page-load errs on the side of convenience. My suggestion is to put the text at the very end of the e-mail, AFTER the summary, the link, and (optionally) why you think the high-traffic blogger might be interested in the post.

(Note on the update: the trackback from OTB didn't work, and I didn't check to see if he'd posted on it. I apologize for the oversight)

Hugh Hewitt - Linked the same day, however I noticed that he also gave a Hat Tip to Right Wing News. Which makes me wonder whether he was planning to link me before he read the RWN piece, or if the fact that RWN blogged about it made him to decide not to dump my e-mail into his bozo bin. Either way, I'm happy. But this also makes me wonder what the "tipping point" is. How many high-traffic bloggers have to link a post before they all feel compelled to do it so that they don't miss out on a "hot topic"? Ah... the mysteries of interpersonal influence...

I'll also mention that although Hugh didn't reply to my initial e-mail, he DID reply to my "thank you" e-mail that I sent after he linked me.

Wonkette - Linked same day, later in the evening, and mentioned that if a high-traffic blogger isn't responding to your e-mail, it may be because you got caught in their spam filter. Lesson learned - don't brag about how your were born in Nigeria.

Seriously, though, you know what spam e-mails look like, so avoid ALL CAPS, excessive linkage, exclamation points!!!, and other filter triggers.

QandO - Responded after about 24 hours. He brought up an excellent point about why some of the more content-oriented blogs (rather than link-oriented) might not be quick to jump on your link: "I rarely link emailed stuff, simply because of my own blogging habits. I tend to write about subjects that I've been thinking about, or about which I have something unique to say. I don't really consider myself a "linker". So, unfortunately, while it's nice for me to get emailed links, I'm probably not terribly helpful to the people who send them. Usually, anyway."

I have to agree - if I can't find a fresh angle on a story, I may not post on a link I've been sent. I mean, if I can't manage to do more than echo the A-listers' opinions, I probably can't muster the enthusiasm to whip up a post on the topic - which is why I don't do a whole lot of blogging on the big headline news stories of the day.

Winds of Change - Linked after about 44 hours. Mentions the Right Wing News piece, mostly for RWN's great money quote of "Getting links isn't about a "Good Old Boy's Club," it's about the numbers game."

Here's something to consider. Right Wing News wrote a better post than I did (I'm being honest, not modest), but I still got a link and praise in the WoC piece. When it comes to crediting sources, I usually only mention the place I got the info from. I almost never cite "the source of the source". I wonder if WoC would've linked me (source of the source) had he not also gotten the e-mail?... again - the mysteries of influence.

UPDATE 4-13-06 5PM: Joe of WoC was kind enough to leave an explanation in the comments, and also points out that linking the source of the source helps improve the shelf life of your post should one of the source links eventually become broken.

The Jawa Report - First, my condolences to Rusty Shackleford on the recent loss of his friend. I would like to give him credit for setting his contact e-mail to autorespond, so I heard about this within minutes of sending my initial e-mail. To his further credit, he responded personally at about the 48 hour mark, to let me know that he's a "reads all, responds to some" kinda guy.

The Real Ugly American - Not one of the initial e-mail targets, but he posted within 12 hours as a secondary effect of the links by Right Wing News and Hugh Hewitt, and added his own thoughts to expand my "how to e-mail high-traffic bloggers" advice to make it inclusive of ALL bloggers.


The following are the 19 18 high-traffic blogs which neither replied to my e-mail nor linked my post. This does not in any way affect my opinion of them. I simply assume that they had more urgent matters to attend to. Had I sent my e-mails at a different time or on a different day, the lists above and below probably would've looked completely different. Maybe I'll have more fortuitous timing in the future.

Daily Kos
Pink Is The New Blog
Michelle Malkin
Eschaton
Go Fug Yourself
Crooks and Liars
A Socialite's Life
Little Green Footballs
Powerline
The Dilbert Blog
NRO: The Corner
Lileks
Roger L. Simon
Captain's Quarters
Outside the Beltway
Ace of Spades
This Modern World
Belmont Club
Althouse

Posted by: Harvey at 09:18 AM | Comments (20) | Add Comment
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AN OPEN LETTER TO COMEDY CENTRAL - UPDATED 4-17-06

Dear Comedy Central,

I watched South Park last night (Cartoon Wars, part 2), and I see you decided against airing the image of a cartoon Mohammed handing a salmon helmet to Peter Griffin. You were afraid that Muslims might be offended if they saw something like this:

(click to enlarge)

On the other hand, showing Jesus crapping on the American flag - you didn't have a problem with.

Huh... and to think that - back on July 4th, 2001 - you couldn't have cared less if South Park showed a cartoon image of Mohammed...

Something must've changed between then & now.

Well, I'm not going to make any idle squawkings about not watching Comedy Central any more. I like South Park.

On the other hand, I *did* take note of who bought air time during your capitulation to terrorist threats:


Axe Snake Peel

iPod + iTunes

NBA Ballers Phenom

"Fun With Dick and Jane" DVD

Netscape internet service

Amp'd mobile

eXmark LazerZ lawn mowers

Dell

Toyota Camry

"Scary Movie 4" DVD

Gametap


I don't suppose I'll be buying any of their products anytime soon.

Unless they find somewhere else to spend their advertising budget.

Or unless you re-run the episode uncensored.

Your call.

UPDATE 4-13-06 10:30AM: After reading some of the discussion threads on the South Park BBS, there appears to be some debate as to whether the episode was censored by Comedy Central or if the black screens were done by Matt & Trey to make a point.

Pending confirmation from either party, I think it was both. I don't think the black screens were inserted by Comedy Central in order to prevent the image of Mohammed from appearing, however, I *do* think that at some point CC had actually come out and told Matt & Trey directly that they would not show an image of Mohammed.

I'll speculate further by suggesting that, had CC approved the Mohammed image, Matt & Trey would've included it in the episode and used a different ending sequence. One that made Comedy Central look like defenders of free speech instead of hypocritical jackasses.

UPDATE 4-13-06 1:15PM: I'm giving myself a high-five for guessing correctly that it was both. Stephen Spruiell called CC and asked about the black screen containing the words "Comedy Central has refused to broadcast an image of Mohammed on their network". The response:

"They reflected it accurately. That was a Comedy Central decision."

Now we'll just wait & see how my further speculation pans out.

UPDATE 4-17-06: Don't threaten a boycott of Comedy Central. Threaten their advertisers instead. American Digest explains the principle behind this approach.

Posted by: Harvey at 12:23 AM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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April 12, 2006

FENCE FIRST, AMNESTY LATER

Mean Mr. Mustard's solution to the illegal immigration problem.

Posted by: Harvey at 10:45 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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April 11, 2006

TODAY'S LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

If I had a single flower for every time I think about you, I could walk forever in my garden.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

[Like the Love Notes? Get the e-book]

Posted by: Harvey at 07:35 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 35 words, total size 1 kb.

TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[Men Sux]

Actually, men like me prefer to *ahem* "lix".

Posted by: Harvey at 07:34 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 18 words, total size 1 kb.

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