May 20, 2005
TODAY'S LOVE NOTE
(
Introduction)
The wind blows, restlessly.
Like thoughts in my mind.
I miss you already.
Though I know you're not yet gone.
But soon you probably will be.
My thoughts, they wander aimlessly.
My emotions are ineffable.
I don't know what it is I feel.
But I do know,
That if you go,
I am missing you already.
(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)
Posted by: Harvey at
11:58 PM
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1
...Oh, and while you're out, pick me up a 6-pack of Guinness, wouldya?...
Posted by: Harvey at May 20, 2005 11:59 PM (ubhj8)
2
Sure, I'll get you a guiness... I'll also get you some psychotropics while i'm out there... but you have to let go of my legs first, so I can to RUN to the store. I'll be back...I promise!
Posted by: Michele at May 21, 2005 05:50 AM (ht2RK)
3
Life has Loveliness to sell,
All beautiful and splendid things,
Blue waves whitened on a cliff,
Soaring fires that sways and sings,
And children's faces looking up,
Holding wonder like a cup
Life has Loveliness to sell,
Music like a curve of Gold,
Scent of pinetrees in the rain,
Eyes that Love you,arms that hold,
And for your spirit's still delight,
Holy stars that star the night.
Spend all you have for loveliness,
Buy it and never count the cost;
For one white singing hour of Peace
Count many a year of strife well lost
And for a breath of ecstasy
Give all you have been, or could be.
Posted by: Pamela at May 21, 2005 05:04 PM (Hjw0C)
4
Buy it?
Hell, I *married* it :-)
Posted by: Harvey at May 21, 2005 07:41 PM (ubhj8)
5
...and that's only because I haven't sighted in the new rifle yet. Cheap-ass Wallyworld rifles...#$@%!^$@
Posted by: littlejoe at May 22, 2005 08:55 PM (QJRRo)
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FUCK YOU, HAG
Some dirty bitch is
talking smack about how Americans have been targeting journalists in Iraq.
No, it's not Eason Jordan in drag.
Anyway, once again (and I'll type this nice & slow so that the stupid people can keep up):
IF AMERICANS WERE TARGETING JOURNALISTS, THEY'D ALL BE DEAD BY NOW.
Remember: people living to tell the tale = not being targeted.
Now... if you were claiming that they were being targeted by the French...
[Hat tip to Blake of The Laughing Wolf for the link]
Posted by: Harvey at
09:44 PM
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1
It's bullshit, pure and simple, but you know what?
I almost wish they were targeting the assholes.
The way the motherfuckers are backstabbing our troops, seeing a Marine Sniper with a string of trophy microphones might bitchslap some fucking sense into these assholes.
Ok, not really, but the image is attractive...
Posted by: Graumagus at May 20, 2005 11:42 PM (qO15a)
2
WOW. And there's a fuckin'
tape this time. Kick ass!
OK, technically, there was a tape
last time, with Jordan, but whoever headed up that conference refused to ever release it.
JunkyardBlog has done an
awesome job of documenting this one.
Posted by: Ponytailed Conservative at May 21, 2005 02:55 PM (7RF1C)
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WHEREIN EVIL GLENN EXPRESSES HIS THOUGHTS REGARDING ARIANNA HUFFINGTON'S QUASI-CELEBRITY "BLOG" PROJECT, "THE HUFFINGTON POST"
(
A Filthy Lie)
(click to enlarge)
[Hat tip to the ever-delectable Pamela of Atlas Shrugs for finding the cartoon, which I've modified slightly for my own nefarious purposes]
Posted by: Harvey at
07:38 PM
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IN CASE YOU WERE WONDERING...
...how to tell the difference between
sincere gratitude and
sycophantic up-sucking, blogdaughter Angel of AAFFLLAACCKK and blogson Contagion of Miasmatic Review illustrate it about as well as any two people I've ever seen.
Posted by: Harvey at
01:30 PM
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1
Glad I could be an example for you!
Posted by: Contagion at May 20, 2005 01:38 PM (Q5WxB)
2
Contagion, Harvey likes boobie pictures if you have any.
Posted by: ArmyWifeToddlerMom at May 20, 2005 01:50 PM (thRq6)
3
No thanks. I don't want to see Contagion's boobies. Yuck. Man Boobs.
Posted by: caltechgirl at May 20, 2005 02:00 PM (eV5t9)
4
Someone should study this family!! Let's all go on Springer! :-)
Posted by: Sissy at May 20, 2005 02:21 PM (uXS+O)
5
Springer would run out of the studio screaming :-)
Posted by: Harvey at May 20, 2005 06:01 PM (ubhj8)
6
I thought sycophantic up-sucking was a
good thing...
Posted by: Ponytailed Conservative at May 21, 2005 02:38 PM (7RF1C)
7
Never said it wasn't. Just pointing out that there's a difference :-)
Posted by: Harvey at May 21, 2005 02:40 PM (ubhj8)
8
Yeah...go on Springer, and invite me as the nosy neighbor.
"Honestly Jerry, there's some weird *bleep* going on with them there Bad Example folks. I mean, just the other *bleep* day, I saw that Harvey, and Contagion *bleep* the *bleep* out of a *bleep*ing llama. It was *bleep* strange I tell ya!."
Posted by: littlejoe at May 22, 2005 09:01 PM (QJRRo)
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May 19, 2005
TODAY'S LOVE NOTE
(
Introduction)
[
new note, not previously posted]
Thinking of your lips
Warm, soft, the taste of your tongue
Sweet with chocolate
[Hat tip to Jen of Jennifer's History & Stuff for this one]
(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)
Posted by: Harvey at
10:21 PM
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Posted by: Jennifer at May 19, 2005 10:59 PM (3fQ7g)
2
now this time, let's try the vanilla flavored syrup . . .
Posted by: Aris_Ravencroft at May 20, 2005 04:10 AM (hnjIP)
3
Bet you didn't know they made chocolate flavored Reddi-Whip.
Posted by: Machelle at May 20, 2005 06:31 AM (ZAyoW)
4
and sticky, oh so sticky.
Posted by: Oddybobo at May 20, 2005 07:28 AM (6Gm0j)
5
Next time, save me some you selfish bitch.
Posted by: _Jon at May 20, 2005 07:54 AM (R6yie)
6
When it come to chocolate it's all for me and none for you! All you'll ever get is the lingering taste on my tongue; and come to think of it, not even then with that nasty attitude!!!
Posted by: Michele at May 20, 2005 09:11 AM (ht2RK)
7
*does homegirl snap*
She toooollllddd YOU! :-)
Posted by: Sissy at May 20, 2005 02:23 PM (uXS+O)
8
Whewww! Glad to see you guys took the high road.
I was scared that this was going to be some weird scheisse pr-0n post.
Posted by: That 1 Guy at May 20, 2005 06:12 PM (HoSBk)
9
Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling into at night. I miss you like hell.
Edna St. Vincent Millay, Letters, 1952
Posted by: Pamela at May 20, 2005 10:53 PM (Hjw0C)
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TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY
(click to enlarge)
[
Pokemon]
As a follow up to the popular "State Quarters" program, the Treasury released the first in the new series of "Those Weird Japanese" Dollars. Coming soon: "Mr. Sparkle" and "Japscat".
Posted by: Harvey at
10:16 PM
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1
Actually, back when pokemon was big in America, the city of Topika(sp) officially renamed itself To Pikachu for two days.
Posted by: Aris_Ravencroft at May 20, 2005 11:00 AM (hnjIP)
2
This reminds me of a joke about a Jamaican jail. Too bad I can't remember the joke.
Posted by: Susie at May 21, 2005 12:23 PM (V1YvO)
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May 18, 2005
SO CLOSE, YET SO FAR AWAY
(click to enlarge)
I guess "chaff" is as close as I'm ever going to get to an Instalanche.
Posted by: Harvey at
11:26 PM
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1
I saw that... very funny!
Posted by: Boudicca at May 19, 2005 06:07 AM (z7nbM)
2
Keep it up Harvey, one day you will be the Filthy Lie King.
Posted by: Contagion at May 19, 2005 07:01 AM (Q5WxB)
3
He's already admitting to robot-dancing, I see. It won't be long before he's gloating about his evil publishing empire, I'm sure.
Posted by: Sally at May 19, 2005 07:09 AM (J+MjX)
Posted by: Eric at May 19, 2005 07:41 AM (YlwMq)
5
I love your chaff, Harv!
Posted by: Susie at May 19, 2005 08:21 AM (V1YvO)
6
Congratualations on the near instalaunch by the king of penguin porn and robot dancing. "Chaff", not soo bad.
Posted by: ArmyWifeToddlerMom at May 19, 2005 08:33 AM (Z6ake)
7
All hail the King of Chaff! *grin*
Posted by: Teresa at May 19, 2005 12:24 PM (nAfYo)
8
More like "chafe".
As in it really chafes me that Frank has like 4 lies under his belt, and I've got about 100, and Glenn won't even spit in my direction :-(
Worst part was I didn't see any referrals from that Google search, either.
Posted by: Harvey at May 19, 2005 01:38 PM (tJfh1)
9
That puppy drinking guff hasn't even ever mentioned my name. really, I'm highly insulted, hurt, wounded to the core.
(Rachel Ann quickly looks up the word guff, making certain it really isn't a four letter word she missed in her limited foul-language classes, and found it reallymeant a foul smell or wind, is inapproriate for the center, but as I said I'm wounded to the core at the moment nd don't rightly care.)
Posted by: Rachel Ann at May 19, 2005 03:21 PM (pG55I)
10
Herbey... you are one lyin' sumbitch... that's about the best thing I have to say about you....
Posted by: Madfish Willie at May 19, 2005 06:46 PM (i5QFj)
11
MW - Coming from YOU, that's a compliment, and I'll take it :-P
Posted by: Harvey at May 19, 2005 08:06 PM (ubhj8)
12
Well, at least you came in 2nd, no matter the reason. Congrats, you deserve it - also no matter the reason.
Hugs,
Cindy
Posted by: firstbrokenangel at May 19, 2005 11:01 PM (PEKrh)
13
Took me a minute (had to realize that there was a hyperlink on that word...), but I got it, and I wanted to say - that's still pretty good. You're closer to an Instalanche than most of us may ever be.
Posted by: Aakash at May 20, 2005 12:24 AM (+4oqn)
14
I've just noticed Alex on page two. That's not fair!
Posted by: Sally at May 20, 2005 08:02 AM (J+MjX)
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TODAY'S LOVE NOTE
(
Introduction)
If you think my eyes are beautiful, it's because they're looking at you.
(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)
Posted by: Harvey at
10:58 PM
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1
And if you think I'm beautiful, the drugs are working!
Posted by: littlejoe at May 19, 2005 03:36 AM (QJRRo)
2
If you think my eyes are beautiful....you should see them in the bedroom.
Posted by: Sissy at May 19, 2005 06:20 AM (uXS+O)
3
... and if you keep staring at me in that tone of voice, you're gonna get a Map of Michigan...
Posted by: _Jon at May 19, 2005 07:45 AM (grH7t)
4
Guess what
else is looking at you?
Posted by: Sissy at May 19, 2005 04:33 PM (uXS+O)
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TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY
(click to enlarge)
[
*star* *heart* *peace sign*]
It either means "America Loves Peace" or "Ninja throwing stars will soon rip through your heart - R.I.P."
Posted by: Harvey at
10:55 PM
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HUFFINGTON POST: KING OF THE BLOGS EDITION
For a long time I served as a judge for the (currently on hiatus)
King of the Blogs Tournament, and I spent a lot of time
telling people what was good and not-so-good about their blogs. Over time I developed a set of criteria by which to sort the virtual wheat from the chaff. Since I've already
thrashed HuffPo for it's concept, I thought I'd take a peek at the format to see how it measures up.
As a courtesy to those who are sick to death of HuffPo chatter, the whole mess will be in the extended entry. However, I'll also be looking at another "blogging because it's hip and trendy" site - the Business Week Magazine blog, "Blogspotting" - so you may want to check that part out...
more...
Posted by: Harvey at
10:52 PM
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1
wow, what a thorough and complete trashing of the blogs... Please never review mine.
Posted by: Contagion at May 19, 2005 07:09 AM (Q5WxB)
2
Don't hold back Harvey... tell us how you really feel about Arianna and her "blog". *grin*
Posted by: Teresa at May 19, 2005 09:00 AM (nAfYo)
3
Wait, wait! Did they have any llamas on their sites?
Posted by: Ogre at May 19, 2005 01:40 PM (/k+l4)
4
Contagion - If I reviewed yours, you'd do very well. Nice layout, contact information, site search, comments & trackbacks...
The only complaint I'd have is the abundant use of animated gifs, which can be distracting.
Probably 4.5 of 5
Posted by: Harvey at May 19, 2005 01:46 PM (tJfh1)
5
Ogre - no llamas, either. Bastards.
Posted by: Harvey at May 19, 2005 01:48 PM (tJfh1)
6
I like the animated gifts, it distracts readers from the crappy content.
Posted by: Contagion at May 20, 2005 12:05 PM (Q5WxB)
7
Contagion - In *your* case... yeah, they're a blessing :-P
Posted by: Harvey at May 20, 2005 01:31 PM (tJfh1)
8
Hello hello,
Was interested to read your comments on our blog, Blogspotting. We're going to put up a blogroll and our email contact, which we miffed by not having as part of the initial launch. And good idea about the extended entries, which we're still trying to figure out how to use effectively.
On "playing well with others," could you explain a little more what you mean? We definitely make a point of getting out beyond on our blog when it comes to commenting. But I don't think that's what you mean.
Posted by: Heather Green at May 20, 2005 05:20 PM (I9LgB)
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May 17, 2005
EVIL GLENN'S PENGUIN PORN
(
A Filthy Lie re-posted from Bad Money so it'll load faster)
Frank says we need more lies about Evil Glenn.
I can't help much there. I'm too honest.
However, when I was talking with Evil Glenn the other day, I did discover something quite shocking. We were discussing some of our favorite retired comic strip writers...
Harv: Yeah, I miss Gary Larson, too. And I always really liked
Bloom County. Some people said it was just a Doonesbury wanna-be, but I thought it was quite innovative.
Evil Glenn: I agree. I really liked Opus. I love penguins. In fact, I even have a small, penguin-related business on the side. Let me show you something on my computer.
Harv: Penguinperv.com?
Evil Glenn: One of my favorite web-cam sites.
Harv: Does that book say "Instapundit" on the cover?
Evil Glenn: Yup.
Harv: Why does that penguin have an odd little smile on his face?
Evil Glenn: Obviously he REALLY enjoys what he's looking at. And I guarantee you he's not reading it for the articles.
Harv: You published a book of penguin porn?
Evil Glenn: Yup. Nothing more erotic than a penguin. The stark black-and-white contrast, the beak, those tiny feathers... indeed.
Harv: You sick, vile, sub-human pervert!
Evil Glenn: Geez, Harv, relax. Puppy smoothie?
Harv: Get away from me!
Evil Glenn: Say... has anyone ever told you that you look like a hobo? [reaching slowly for whacking hammer]
Harv: AAAAAAHH! [flees in terror]
So the truth is out. Evil Glenn publishes penguin porn on the side. Just one more reason...
INSTAPUNDO DELENDA EST!
UPDATE (8/27/03): Over at Alliance HQ, I provide further evidence of Evil Glenn's penguin porn production.
[hat tip to ArmyWifeToddlerMom for the penguincam link]
Posted by: Harvey at
06:27 PM
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1
penguins pooping, thats hot....
Posted by: ArmyWifeToddlerMom at May 17, 2005 09:31 PM (CguLX)
2
Ah yes. I'd forgotten that Evil Glenn was once merely a seller of this filth, before he started "sampling the produce" as it were..
Posted by: Sally at May 18, 2005 03:30 PM (J+MjX)
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TODAY'S LOVE NOTE
(
Introduction)
Love and electricity are one in the same, my dear... if you do not feel the jolt in your soul every time a kiss is shared, a whisper is spoken, a touch is felt, then you're not really in love at all.
(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)
Posted by: Harvey at
06:03 PM
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1
...So if you love me, you'll attach those jumper cables to my nipples & start the car...
Posted by: Harvey at May 17, 2005 06:05 PM (ubhj8)
2
. . . honey, I just need to know how the car got in the bed room in the first place . . .
Posted by: Aris_Ravencroft at May 17, 2005 10:18 PM (hnjIP)
3
and don't forget, the exta cable gets connected to
this.
Posted by: Michele at May 17, 2005 10:28 PM (ht2RK)
4
Now honey, I told you that vibe wasn't bathtub safe...
Posted by: tbflowers at May 18, 2005 10:54 AM (FJKSH)
5
It's not love's going hurts my days,
But that it went in little ways.
- - - - Edna St. Vincent Millay
Posted by: Pamela at May 18, 2005 06:10 PM (Hjw0C)
6
I don't wish to imply
that there aren't good
things about you
or that you're not
an extraordinary person
but I'd rather
let other people
enjoy the surprise
- - - - George Tsargas "now that it's over"
Posted by: Pamela at May 18, 2005 06:11 PM (Hjw0C)
7
To love another person is to see the face of God.
Posted by: Pamela at May 18, 2005 06:12 PM (Hjw0C)
8
Who, being loved, is poor?
Posted by: Pamela at May 18, 2005 06:13 PM (Hjw0C)
Posted by: Pamela at May 18, 2005 06:14 PM (Hjw0C)
10
Pamela - You go on for as long as you want :-)
As for the Edna quote - too true. Which is what the Love Notes are all about. A little emotional maintenance every day. It would've been easy to stop giving her love notes after I ran out of the paper ones. This way, she is still reminded, and one of the "little ways" does not die.
Posted by: Harvey at May 18, 2005 06:25 PM (ubhj8)
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TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY
(click to enlarge)
Wait! Lincoln doesn't have a moustache...
Oh my God! Dirty Sanchez! EWWWWWW!
Posted by: Harvey at
05:59 PM
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1
It looks more like a "Cleveland Steamer"
Posted by: Michael at May 17, 2005 06:02 PM (eqaaP)
2
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=cleaveland+steamer&r=f
ROTFL!
Never heard that one before :-)
Posted by: Harvey at May 17, 2005 06:05 PM (ubhj8)
3
Harv, If you haven't already been there you really should check out:
http://www.getoffended.com
Posted by: phin at May 17, 2005 07:00 PM (DGPlf)
Posted by: vw bug at May 17, 2005 09:45 PM (T3f2R)
5
Are you blind! It's the president from the star trek evil alternate universe.
Posted by: Blogless brother at May 17, 2005 09:57 PM (6cyEp)
6
I actually had to check a 5 for that one, I wasn't sure
Posted by: Aris_Ravencroft at May 17, 2005 10:20 PM (hnjIP)
7
>Wait! Lincoln doesn't have a moustache.
Hahahaha...From Freedom Fanatic to Festering Felon, with a Flick of a Fountain.
(((WICKED)))
Posted by: mensabarbie at May 22, 2005 09:13 PM (TOHVc)
8
Dirty Sanchez? Cleveland Steamer? Didn't know what they were. Checked out the urban dictionary... then getoffended.com Some sick people out there. But had to buy a few of the shirts from Get Offended.com Thanks for the info. My wife is still lost, "What's a Shocker?" she said while washing the new tee.
Posted by: TBone at June 23, 2005 02:54 PM (mBozz)
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SPAMMER CAPTURED AT COMMENT PARTY!
Go play with him over at
Oh-Dark-Thirty.
MUAHAHAHAHAHA!
[see comments 166, 167, and 176]
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09:29 AM
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May 16, 2005
TODAY'S LOVE NOTE
(
Introduction)
Love is like swallowing hot chocolate before it has cooled off. It takes you by surprise at first, but keeps you warm for a long time.
(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)
Posted by: Harvey at
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1
I'm leaving this one alone!!
Posted by: Sissy at May 16, 2005 08:21 PM (uXS+O)
2
What, no comment about the funny tingling feeling on your tounge?
Posted by: GEBIV at May 16, 2005 08:24 PM (67Kua)
3
Drat! I always spell tongue wrong the first time.
Posted by: GEBIV at May 16, 2005 08:26 PM (67Kua)
4
I'm totally not touching this one... I'm sad to say, this one was even easy for me.
Posted by: Boudicca at May 16, 2005 09:21 PM (z7nbM)
5
I so want to go here, and make it worse than it is....but won't
Posted by: ArmyWifeToddlerMom at May 16, 2005 11:29 PM (n47tp)
6
Well, it's my understanding that women really like the chocolate . . .
Posted by: Aris_Ravencroft at May 17, 2005 12:14 AM (hnjIP)
7
If hot chocolate were good, they'd sell it in a can.
Posted by: Sissy at May 17, 2005 06:20 AM (uXS+O)
8
I too will be reserved today. But oh how this can get nasty!
Posted by: Oddybobo at May 17, 2005 07:09 AM (6Gm0j)
9
And like hot chocolate, you may feel a painful burning sensation afterwards with "love" as well.
Posted by: littlejoe at May 17, 2005 02:12 PM (QJRRo)
10
LittleJoe! YAY!
I'm glad to see SOMEONE has the nerve to go for it on this one :-)
Posted by: Harvey at May 17, 2005 03:00 PM (tJfh1)
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TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY
(click to enlarge)
[
I GREW HEMP]
As a follow up to their popular "State Quarters" program, the Treasury released the first in its new series of "Lies Hippies Tell" Dollars. Coming soon: "Animals have rights" and "You don't have to be on acid to enjoy the music of the Grateful Dead".
Posted by: Harvey at
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Posted by: GEBIV at May 16, 2005 08:26 PM (67Kua)
2
I swear I've actually had this dollar in my posession before.
Posted by: Contagion at May 17, 2005 09:24 AM (977gQ)
3
"Animals have rights"
This is because filthy hippies must tell the world that they actually have rights... otherwise we'd put them in a cage and poke them with pointed sticks... right?
Posted by: Teresa at May 17, 2005 01:25 PM (nAfYo)
4
Unless you can match the serial number, I'll have to doubt you.
Thing is, the "I GREW HEMP" stamp is the most popular currency defacement in America with the exception of "www.wheresgeorge.com"
Posted by: Harvey at May 17, 2005 01:28 PM (tJfh1)
5
Teresa - Personally, I cage & poke hippies anyway, just for fun :-)
Posted by: Harvey at May 17, 2005 01:42 PM (tJfh1)
6
Sorry, I'm not that analytical that I track the serial numbers on my money.... yet. But I'm pretty sure I've had a dollar with an "I Grew Hemp" stamp on it.
Posted by: Contagion at May 17, 2005 07:14 PM (977gQ)
7
Has anyone come across some money with
"GRUMPY" or "GRUMPS" written on it?
Posted by: Ben at May 25, 2005 03:03 AM (pO1tP)
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ARIANNA ISN'T A BLOGGER
I caught
a video clip of Arianna Huffington doing an interview on CNN and she talked about her "blog"
The Huffington Post, and why she started it.
Let's get this out in the open right up front. I don't like Arianna or any of her co-bloggers because they're liberal and they're shrill, but my criticism of the site has nothing to do with that.
What bugs me is that the reasons she gives for starting the site tell me that she doesn't have the slightest idea what she's doing.
I've seen a lot of people start blogs, and they've all done it for the right reasons. They have something to say - be it about themselves, the world at large, or even just a chance to be funny in front of an audience besides friends and family - and they start a blog because they have no other platform available.
A blog is a publishing format of last resort. If person could get published with a newspaper, write a novel, or do stand-up, they'd be doing that. But blogging is their only outlet.
And because it is, that makes it precious and loved. It becomes a work of passion. A labor of love. It draws the author back again and again, day after day. It's not for the money - although some bloggers do generate income with it - it's about being able to make something all your own that you can point to and say, "*I* did this. It may not be beautiful or perfect, but it's mine. It's a part of who I am. An important part. And I love it."
Arianna - and, indeed, all her group-blog-buddies - have other outlets. Outlets that are higher profile, less prone to criticism and feedback, and far more renumerative. Their natural inclination is to leverage their time into productive activities, and this project goes counter to that. This sad collection of celebrity cat-blogging can't possibly hold any appeal, outside of the opportunity to publicly lick Arianna's backside while appearing to be hip and trendy because they're blogging.
The bloom will go off the rose, they will lose interest, they will find better things to do, and - one by one - they will drop out.
If they wanted to blog, they would start at Blogger like everyone else.
What troubles me most, though, is some of the phrases Arianna uses to describe her interest in the project:
Your thought doesn't have to have a beginning, a middle and an end. It can be put out there. Others respond. It can start a conversation and you can get on with the rest of your life.
You're SO wrong, Arianna.
Good blogging IS good writing. You don't just toss off a steaming pile of unfinished thought-crap, call it good, and wait for Lady Fortune to kick in your door toting buckets full of gold coins. Bloggers CARE about what they write, which is why they write it. Even on tiny posts, it's the blogger's best efforts that get published. They know it's not Hemmingway, but they do the best they can with what they have. Anyone who's struggled for half an hour tweaking a 3-line throwaway post knows what I'm talking about.
Arianna doesn't know. And she doesn't care.
But if she doesn't care, if she doesn't have a passion for making the best of the one tiny outlet that she has, WHY is she bothering with this?
She's power-hungry.
Check these quotes:
I wanted to bring together 300 of the most creative people in the country into the cyberspace, into the blogosphere, is because I believe the blogosphere is so important, it is changing the way we receive information so dramatically that I wanted to make sure that those people, who, as you say, have other platforms, would also have an online platform...
You have many stories that die on the front pages of the "New York Times." Big stories covered but then forgotten. There isn't enough follow-up, and the greatness of the blogosphere is that there is a lot of follow-up. A story is covered and re-covered and re-covered until your break through the static of a 500-channel universe, and that is how you can actually begin to bring about change and capture the public's imagination, and you have to do a lot of that.
[all emphasis added]
She looks at the blogosphere as a single entity with enormous power, and she lusts after it with deepest envy. She has fantasies of stepping in with a cabal of sycophants and grabbing this power for herself so that she can control "the public's imagination". She's under the delusion that all the scandals exposed by the blogosphere in the last year or so are directed from a single point of control, as though there were a handle that could be pulled to steer all the blogs in a single direction.
What she wants is to grab that handle.
To mangle a line from the Matrix, "there is no handle".
Arianna, darling, the blogosphere isn't a machine to be controlled from a single point, it's a herd of cats, and it'll go where it sees fit in ways that can be neither controlled nor predicted. It's not an actually entity, but rather the sum total of the individual human lives behind every blog. If you persist in your insane beliefs to the contrary, your project will disintegrate before your eyes, leaving you alone, ignored, and wondering what went wrong.
Bloggers who've started without readers understand that a blog can only invite and persuade, it cannot command and direct. The only tool it has is the original thoughts of the author, and his credibility with his peers. But trust amongst peers is a fragile thing, and only grows by pieces, one truth-telling post at a time. Arianna does not understand this. She thinks that cash and fame are a substitute for integrity, and that a blog's success can be bought and sold like shares of Time-Warner.
She's wrong, and I imagine she'll discover that soon enough as her empire crumbles.
And I will laugh. And I will keep on blogging. Because *I* know.
And *I* care.
Posted by: Harvey at
06:53 PM
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Posted by: phin at May 16, 2005 08:32 PM (DGPlf)
2
Hell yes.
Great post, Harvey. I'm going to have to link to it.
Posted by: Patriot Xeno at May 16, 2005 08:47 PM (z4SP5)
3
"Your thought doesn't have a beginning, a middle or an end"? Hunh. Coulda fooled me. I wonder what crappy blogs she's been reading. They're definitely not on MY blogroll.
Posted by: Boudicca at May 16, 2005 09:26 PM (z7nbM)
4
There is one positive aspect to her insipid celeb-blog.
It spawned the creation of the
Huffington's Toast parody site.
It's pretty damn funny.
Posted by: Graumagus at May 16, 2005 09:34 PM (FMdFD)
5
I actually hung back on blogging about HP (about three months, since Drudge first mentioned it was in the works), wanting to see what my betters (you, Frank, Glenn) would do with it.
It was worth the wait. All I would've said only better, and a few things I would've
forgotten to say.
Posted by: Ponytailed Conservative at May 16, 2005 09:51 PM (Mu8gg)
6
I am not going to the site, and I hope no one else does. There are other better blogs to be reading.
It is like feeding a monster.
Who?
Posted by: ArmyWifeToddlerMom at May 16, 2005 10:00 PM (KvPhE)
7
Hot damn, Harvey! That was beautiful. If you were a chick I would be so turned on right now.
Posted by: Jim at May 16, 2005 10:01 PM (MDLz3)
8
Oh.
"If they wanted to blog, they would start at Blogger like everyone else."
Unless they were
exceptionally foolish, and decided to try to write their own blogware from scratch... which I now wouldn't advise to my worst enemy...
Posted by: Ponytailed Conservative at May 16, 2005 10:18 PM (Mu8gg)
9
PC - Leave Arianna a comment suggesting she write her own blogware :-)
Oh... wait... you CAN'T... her "blog" doesn't have comments...
Nevermind ;-)
Posted by: Harvey at May 16, 2005 10:48 PM (ubhj8)
10
She can grab MY handle any time she wants... I just won't promise it won't spit up on her... prolly in about 3.276 seconds... they don;t all ME quick draw for nuttin'...
Posted by: Madfish Willie at May 16, 2005 11:02 PM (i5QFj)
11
Dead on, just about every single word... well well said, Harvey.
Posted by: Confederate Yankee at May 17, 2005 12:24 AM (CO4eV)
12
"You don't just toss off a steaming pile of unfinished thought-crap, call it good, and wait for Lady Fortune to kick in your door toting buckets full of gold coins."
No? Ah, crap, I'm doing it all wrong. Back to the drawing board..
Posted by: Ogre at May 17, 2005 06:38 AM (/k+l4)
Posted by: _Jon at May 17, 2005 08:31 AM (ewFgD)
14
My fav line: the blogosphere is a herd of cats. LOL!
Posted by: Susie at May 17, 2005 08:43 AM (IPJ6q)
15
I think this has to be one of the best rants I've read in a while. Great job Harvey.
Posted by: Contagion at May 17, 2005 09:29 AM (977gQ)
16
I love tha part where she like totally flipped out and started puking green soup at Evil Glenn, and then the ninjas came out of nowhere and started flipping out and killing people. That was cool.
Posted by: littlejoe at May 17, 2005 02:14 PM (QJRRo)
17
I'm freakin' a dollar short and a day late on posting my stuff. Anyway, what you said.
Anyway, I posted from a different angle. I posted about the parody site that's been set up to spoof Ariana's site. I hear it's doing well, with some great guest blogging. I hear some interesting comedic muslims have been brought out of retirement to deal with the likes of her. check it out: http://huffingtonstoast.com/
Posted by: michele at May 17, 2005 02:42 PM (ht2RK)
18
She seems to think 'heh' and 'indeed' are typical blog posts.
The Huff-n-post bloggers don't have comments turned on, that's why they get on with their lives. There's no conversation, they've TOLD us the way it is, end of story.
They don't hear us saying 'Well, that was asinine.'
Posted by: spacemonkey at May 17, 2005 04:28 PM (DN55C)
19
The worst part is that we in the 'sphere keep giving her "press," because she and the rest of her cohorts are so bad.
Posted by: William Teach at May 17, 2005 09:39 PM (HxpPK)
20
WT - Although eventually we'll find someone else to kick around & she'll fade into obscurity. Hope she enjoys her 15 minutes.
Posted by: Harvey at May 17, 2005 10:02 PM (ubhj8)
21
Excellent post, Harvey!
BTW, as Laurence Simon has pointed out, they have not ONCE catblogged. Even Jeff Goldstein jokes about catblogging, but I haven't heard any feline references yet.
Posted by: Tom at May 18, 2005 01:25 AM (DIhXY)
22
Tom - just further proof of her non-bloggerdom :-)
Posted by: Harvey at May 18, 2005 06:42 AM (ubhj8)
Posted by: Pamela at May 18, 2005 09:26 AM (6krEN)
24
PEME- a "Post" meme
just made it up (obviously)
not to worry, it wont stick
Posted by: Pamela at May 18, 2005 09:30 AM (6krEN)
25
Harvey, this post is what I meant by being an original thinker.
Posted by: Michele at May 18, 2005 10:28 AM (NYNS1)
26
Harvey,
Thanks for such an honest, inspiring post. You have embodied how I feel as my blog takes a turn I didn't want it to take, but if it is to remain truth, the journey must continue. To me, being a serious blogger is about blogging even when you don't want to---even when it hurts! Even at the risk of ridicule or abandonment. Simply put, I have a story to tell, so I'm gonna BLOG ON!!
Posted by: Nzyme at May 18, 2005 05:40 PM (Hj8R9)
27
Eventually she will. Right now she is #13, and I would dearly love to see beyond the top 25 linkers in the ecosphere. I bet most are RWers.
She started that blog for all the wrong reasons, and it will catch up with her.
Posted by: William Teach at May 18, 2005 07:42 PM (HxpPK)
28
Pure poetry, Harvey. Again.
Posted by: pam at May 19, 2005 08:15 AM (l6NIn)
29
Very funny, yet very true...especially your points regarding bloggers being proud of what they write, and therefore giving it every bit of effort possible!
Posted by: Pam M. at May 23, 2005 03:16 PM (rx9LD)
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