(Introduction)

The wind blows, restlessly.
Like thoughts in my mind.
I miss you already.
Though I know you're not yet gone.
But soon you probably will be.
My thoughts, they wander aimlessly.
My emotions are ineffable.
I don't know what it is I feel.
But I do know,
That if you go,
I am missing you already.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

Posted by: Harvey at 11:58 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
Post contains 71 words, total size 1 kb.

Some dirty bitch is talking smack about how Americans have been targeting journalists in Iraq.

No, it's not Eason Jordan in drag.

Anyway, once again (and I'll type this nice & slow so that the stupid people can keep up):

IF AMERICANS WERE TARGETING JOURNALISTS, THEY'D ALL BE DEAD BY NOW.

Remember: people living to tell the tale = not being targeted.

Now... if you were claiming that they were being targeted by the French...

[Hat tip to Blake of The Laughing Wolf for the link]

Posted by: Harvey at 09:44 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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(A Filthy Lie)

(click to enlarge)

[Hat tip to the ever-delectable Pamela of Atlas Shrugs for finding the cartoon, which I've modified slightly for my own nefarious purposes]

Posted by: Harvey at 07:38 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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...how to tell the difference between sincere gratitude and sycophantic up-sucking, blogdaughter Angel of AAFFLLAACCKK and blogson Contagion of Miasmatic Review illustrate it about as well as any two people I've ever seen.

Posted by: Harvey at 01:30 PM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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1 Glad I could be an example for you!

Posted by: Contagion at May 20, 2005 01:38 PM (Q5WxB)

2 Contagion, Harvey likes boobie pictures if you have any.

Posted by: ArmyWifeToddlerMom at May 20, 2005 01:50 PM (thRq6)

3 No thanks. I don't want to see Contagion's boobies. Yuck. Man Boobs.

Posted by: caltechgirl at May 20, 2005 02:00 PM (eV5t9)

4 Someone should study this family!! Let's all go on Springer! :-)

Posted by: Sissy at May 20, 2005 02:21 PM (uXS+O)

5 Springer would run out of the studio screaming :-)

Posted by: Harvey at May 20, 2005 06:01 PM (ubhj8)

6 I thought sycophantic up-sucking was a good thing...

Posted by: Ponytailed Conservative at May 21, 2005 02:38 PM (7RF1C)

7 Never said it wasn't. Just pointing out that there's a difference :-)

Posted by: Harvey at May 21, 2005 02:40 PM (ubhj8)

8 Yeah...go on Springer, and invite me as the nosy neighbor. "Honestly Jerry, there's some weird *bleep* going on with them there Bad Example folks. I mean, just the other *bleep* day, I saw that Harvey, and Contagion *bleep* the *bleep* out of a *bleep*ing llama. It was *bleep* strange I tell ya!."

Posted by: littlejoe at May 22, 2005 09:01 PM (QJRRo)

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(Introduction)
[new note, not previously posted]

Thinking of your lips
Warm, soft, the taste of your tongue
Sweet with chocolate

[Hat tip to Jen of Jennifer's History & Stuff for this one]
(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

Posted by: Harvey at 10:21 PM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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(click to enlarge)

[Pokemon]

As a follow up to the popular "State Quarters" program, the Treasury released the first in the new series of "Those Weird Japanese" Dollars. Coming soon: "Mr. Sparkle" and "Japscat".

Posted by: Harvey at 10:16 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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(click to enlarge)

I guess "chaff" is as close as I'm ever going to get to an Instalanche.

Posted by: Harvey at 11:26 PM | Comments (14) | Add Comment
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1 I saw that... very funny!

Posted by: Boudicca at May 19, 2005 06:07 AM (z7nbM)

2 Keep it up Harvey, one day you will be the Filthy Lie King.

Posted by: Contagion at May 19, 2005 07:01 AM (Q5WxB)

3 He's already admitting to robot-dancing, I see. It won't be long before he's gloating about his evil publishing empire, I'm sure.

Posted by: Sally at May 19, 2005 07:09 AM (J+MjX)

4 .. rock on, Harv...

Posted by: Eric at May 19, 2005 07:41 AM (YlwMq)

5 I love your chaff, Harv!

Posted by: Susie at May 19, 2005 08:21 AM (V1YvO)

6 Congratualations on the near instalaunch by the king of penguin porn and robot dancing. "Chaff", not soo bad.

Posted by: ArmyWifeToddlerMom at May 19, 2005 08:33 AM (Z6ake)

7 All hail the King of Chaff! *grin*

Posted by: Teresa at May 19, 2005 12:24 PM (nAfYo)

8 More like "chafe". As in it really chafes me that Frank has like 4 lies under his belt, and I've got about 100, and Glenn won't even spit in my direction :-( Worst part was I didn't see any referrals from that Google search, either.

Posted by: Harvey at May 19, 2005 01:38 PM (tJfh1)

9 That puppy drinking guff hasn't even ever mentioned my name. really, I'm highly insulted, hurt, wounded to the core. (Rachel Ann quickly looks up the word guff, making certain it really isn't a four letter word she missed in her limited foul-language classes, and found it reallymeant a foul smell or wind, is inapproriate for the center, but as I said I'm wounded to the core at the moment nd don't rightly care.)

Posted by: Rachel Ann at May 19, 2005 03:21 PM (pG55I)

10 Herbey... you are one lyin' sumbitch... that's about the best thing I have to say about you....

Posted by: Madfish Willie at May 19, 2005 06:46 PM (i5QFj)

11 MW - Coming from YOU, that's a compliment, and I'll take it :-P

Posted by: Harvey at May 19, 2005 08:06 PM (ubhj8)

12 Well, at least you came in 2nd, no matter the reason. Congrats, you deserve it - also no matter the reason. Hugs, Cindy

Posted by: firstbrokenangel at May 19, 2005 11:01 PM (PEKrh)

13 Took me a minute (had to realize that there was a hyperlink on that word...), but I got it, and I wanted to say - that's still pretty good. You're closer to an Instalanche than most of us may ever be.

Posted by: Aakash at May 20, 2005 12:24 AM (+4oqn)

14 I've just noticed Alex on page two. That's not fair!

Posted by: Sally at May 20, 2005 08:02 AM (J+MjX)

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A Filthy Lie

Filthy Lie Assignment Reminder: What will Evil Glenn do about Arianna Huffington and the Huffington Post? due by 11pm EDT Friday, May 20th. Late entries must be accompanied by a lame excuse.

Wednesday Linky Stuff

Precision Guided Humor Round-up: Dealing With Commie China - I think Basil wins the prize for "Best Excessive Amount of Time Invested in a PGH".

New Precision Guided Humor Assignment: What consequences would you like to befall Newsweek for running the fake Koran-flushing story?

Posted by: Harvey at 11:07 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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(Introduction)

If you think my eyes are beautiful, it's because they're looking at you.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

Posted by: Harvey at 10:58 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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(click to enlarge)

[*star* *heart* *peace sign*]

It either means "America Loves Peace" or "Ninja throwing stars will soon rip through your heart - R.I.P."

Posted by: Harvey at 10:55 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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1

Posted by: Susie at May 19, 2005 08:13 AM (V1YvO)

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For a long time I served as a judge for the (currently on hiatus) King of the Blogs Tournament, and I spent a lot of time telling people what was good and not-so-good about their blogs. Over time I developed a set of criteria by which to sort the virtual wheat from the chaff. Since I've already thrashed HuffPo for it's concept, I thought I'd take a peek at the format to see how it measures up.

As a courtesy to those who are sick to death of HuffPo chatter, the whole mess will be in the extended entry. However, I'll also be looking at another "blogging because it's hip and trendy" site - the Business Week Magazine blog, "Blogspotting" - so you may want to check that part out... more...

Posted by: Harvey at 10:52 PM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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1 wow, what a thorough and complete trashing of the blogs... Please never review mine.

Posted by: Contagion at May 19, 2005 07:09 AM (Q5WxB)

2 Don't hold back Harvey... tell us how you really feel about Arianna and her "blog". *grin*

Posted by: Teresa at May 19, 2005 09:00 AM (nAfYo)

3 Wait, wait! Did they have any llamas on their sites?

Posted by: Ogre at May 19, 2005 01:40 PM (/k+l4)

4 Contagion - If I reviewed yours, you'd do very well. Nice layout, contact information, site search, comments & trackbacks... The only complaint I'd have is the abundant use of animated gifs, which can be distracting. Probably 4.5 of 5

Posted by: Harvey at May 19, 2005 01:46 PM (tJfh1)

5 Ogre - no llamas, either. Bastards.

Posted by: Harvey at May 19, 2005 01:48 PM (tJfh1)

6 I like the animated gifts, it distracts readers from the crappy content.

Posted by: Contagion at May 20, 2005 12:05 PM (Q5WxB)

7 Contagion - In *your* case... yeah, they're a blessing :-P

Posted by: Harvey at May 20, 2005 01:31 PM (tJfh1)

8 Hello hello, Was interested to read your comments on our blog, Blogspotting. We're going to put up a blogroll and our email contact, which we miffed by not having as part of the initial launch. And good idea about the extended entries, which we're still trying to figure out how to use effectively. On "playing well with others," could you explain a little more what you mean? We definitely make a point of getting out beyond on our blog when it comes to commenting. But I don't think that's what you mean.

Posted by: Heather Green at May 20, 2005 05:20 PM (I9LgB)

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(A Filthy Lie re-posted from Bad Money so it'll load faster)

Frank says we need more lies about Evil Glenn.

I can't help much there. I'm too honest.

However, when I was talking with Evil Glenn the other day, I did discover something quite shocking. We were discussing some of our favorite retired comic strip writers...

Evil Glenn: I agree. I really liked Opus. I love penguins. In fact, I even have a small, penguin-related business on the side. Let me show you something on my computer.

Harv: Penguinperv.com?

Evil Glenn: One of my favorite web-cam sites.

Harv: Does that book say "Instapundit" on the cover?

Evil Glenn: Yup.

Harv: Why does that penguin have an odd little smile on his face?

Evil Glenn: Obviously he REALLY enjoys what he's looking at. And I guarantee you he's not reading it for the articles.

Harv: You published a book of penguin porn?

Evil Glenn: Yup. Nothing more erotic than a penguin. The stark black-and-white contrast, the beak, those tiny feathers... indeed.

Harv: You sick, vile, sub-human pervert!

Evil Glenn: Geez, Harv, relax. Puppy smoothie?

Harv: Get away from me!

Evil Glenn: Say... has anyone ever told you that you look like a hobo? [reaching slowly for whacking hammer]

Harv: AAAAAAHH! [flees in terror]

INSTAPUNDO DELENDA EST!

UPDATE (8/27/03): Over at Alliance HQ, I provide further evidence of Evil Glenn's penguin porn production.

[hat tip to ArmyWifeToddlerMom for the penguincam link]

Posted by: Harvey at 06:27 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 278 words, total size 3 kb.

(Introduction)

Love and electricity are one in the same, my dear... if you do not feel the jolt in your soul every time a kiss is shared, a whisper is spoken, a touch is felt, then you're not really in love at all.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

Posted by: Harvey at 06:03 PM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
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(click to enlarge)

Wait! Lincoln doesn't have a moustache...

Oh my God! Dirty Sanchez! EWWWWWW!

Posted by: Harvey at 05:59 PM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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Precision Guided Humor Assignment Reminder: What are the next steps America should take in dealing with Communist China? due by 9pm EDT Wednesday, May 18th. Late entries must be accompanied by a lame excuse.

Monday Linky Stuff

Posted by: Harvey at 12:29 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 45 words, total size 1 kb.

Go play with him over at Oh-Dark-Thirty.

MUAHAHAHAHAHA!

[see comments 166, 167, and 176]

Posted by: Harvey at 09:29 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 18 words, total size 1 kb.

Glenn Reynolds: "Putting puppies in blenders"

They Don't Make Child-proof Journalists, So You Need to Journalist-proof Your Child

Newsweek Reports Star Wars Episode III Script Flushed Down Toilet - Widespread Riots Ensue

Posted by: Harvey at 07:13 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 38 words, total size 1 kb.

(Introduction)

Love is like swallowing hot chocolate before it has cooled off. It takes you by surprise at first, but keeps you warm for a long time.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

Posted by: Harvey at 06:59 PM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
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(click to enlarge)

[I GREW HEMP]

As a follow up to their popular "State Quarters" program, the Treasury released the first in its new series of "Lies Hippies Tell" Dollars. Coming soon: "Animals have rights" and "You don't have to be on acid to enjoy the music of the Grateful Dead".

Posted by: Harvey at 06:58 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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I caught a video clip of Arianna Huffington doing an interview on CNN and she talked about her "blog" The Huffington Post, and why she started it.

Let's get this out in the open right up front. I don't like Arianna or any of her co-bloggers because they're liberal and they're shrill, but my criticism of the site has nothing to do with that.

What bugs me is that the reasons she gives for starting the site tell me that she doesn't have the slightest idea what she's doing.

I've seen a lot of people start blogs, and they've all done it for the right reasons. They have something to say - be it about themselves, the world at large, or even just a chance to be funny in front of an audience besides friends and family - and they start a blog because they have no other platform available.

A blog is a publishing format of last resort. If person could get published with a newspaper, write a novel, or do stand-up, they'd be doing that. But blogging is their only outlet.

And because it is, that makes it precious and loved. It becomes a work of passion. A labor of love. It draws the author back again and again, day after day. It's not for the money - although some bloggers do generate income with it - it's about being able to make something all your own that you can point to and say, "*I* did this. It may not be beautiful or perfect, but it's mine. It's a part of who I am. An important part. And I love it."

Arianna - and, indeed, all her group-blog-buddies - have other outlets. Outlets that are higher profile, less prone to criticism and feedback, and far more renumerative. Their natural inclination is to leverage their time into productive activities, and this project goes counter to that. This sad collection of celebrity cat-blogging can't possibly hold any appeal, outside of the opportunity to publicly lick Arianna's backside while appearing to be hip and trendy because they're blogging.

The bloom will go off the rose, they will lose interest, they will find better things to do, and - one by one - they will drop out.

If they wanted to blog, they would start at Blogger like everyone else.

What troubles me most, though, is some of the phrases Arianna uses to describe her interest in the project:

Your thought doesn't have to have a beginning, a middle and an end. It can be put out there. Others respond. It can start a conversation and you can get on with the rest of your life.

You're SO wrong, Arianna.

Good blogging IS good writing. You don't just toss off a steaming pile of unfinished thought-crap, call it good, and wait for Lady Fortune to kick in your door toting buckets full of gold coins. Bloggers CARE about what they write, which is why they write it. Even on tiny posts, it's the blogger's best efforts that get published. They know it's not Hemmingway, but they do the best they can with what they have. Anyone who's struggled for half an hour tweaking a 3-line throwaway post knows what I'm talking about.

Arianna doesn't know. And she doesn't care.

But if she doesn't care, if she doesn't have a passion for making the best of the one tiny outlet that she has, WHY is she bothering with this?

She's power-hungry.

Check these quotes:

I wanted to bring together 300 of the most creative people in the country into the cyberspace, into the blogosphere, is because I believe the blogosphere is so important, it is changing the way we receive information so dramatically that I wanted to make sure that those people, who, as you say, have other platforms, would also have an online platform...

You have many stories that die on the front pages of the "New York Times." Big stories covered but then forgotten. There isn't enough follow-up, and the greatness of the blogosphere is that there is a lot of follow-up. A story is covered and re-covered and re-covered until your break through the static of a 500-channel universe, and that is how you can actually begin to bring about change and capture the public's imagination, and you have to do a lot of that.

She looks at the blogosphere as a single entity with enormous power, and she lusts after it with deepest envy. She has fantasies of stepping in with a cabal of sycophants and grabbing this power for herself so that she can control "the public's imagination". She's under the delusion that all the scandals exposed by the blogosphere in the last year or so are directed from a single point of control, as though there were a handle that could be pulled to steer all the blogs in a single direction.

What she wants is to grab that handle.

To mangle a line from the Matrix, "there is no handle".

Arianna, darling, the blogosphere isn't a machine to be controlled from a single point, it's a herd of cats, and it'll go where it sees fit in ways that can be neither controlled nor predicted. It's not an actually entity, but rather the sum total of the individual human lives behind every blog. If you persist in your insane beliefs to the contrary, your project will disintegrate before your eyes, leaving you alone, ignored, and wondering what went wrong.

Bloggers who've started without readers understand that a blog can only invite and persuade, it cannot command and direct. The only tool it has is the original thoughts of the author, and his credibility with his peers. But trust amongst peers is a fragile thing, and only grows by pieces, one truth-telling post at a time. Arianna does not understand this. She thinks that cash and fame are a substitute for integrity, and that a blog's success can be bought and sold like shares of Time-Warner.

She's wrong, and I imagine she'll discover that soon enough as her empire crumbles.

And I will laugh. And I will keep on blogging. Because *I* know.

And *I* care.

Posted by: Harvey at 06:53 PM | Comments (29) | Add Comment
Post contains 1037 words, total size 6 kb.

1 Amen

Posted by: phin at May 16, 2005 08:32 PM (DGPlf)

2 Hell yes. Great post, Harvey. I'm going to have to link to it.

Posted by: Patriot Xeno at May 16, 2005 08:47 PM (z4SP5)

3 "Your thought doesn't have a beginning, a middle or an end"? Hunh. Coulda fooled me. I wonder what crappy blogs she's been reading. They're definitely not on MY blogroll.

Posted by: Boudicca at May 16, 2005 09:26 PM (z7nbM)

4 There is one positive aspect to her insipid celeb-blog. It spawned the creation of the Huffington's Toast parody site. It's pretty damn funny.

Posted by: Graumagus at May 16, 2005 09:34 PM (FMdFD)

5 I actually hung back on blogging about HP (about three months, since Drudge first mentioned it was in the works), wanting to see what my betters (you, Frank, Glenn) would do with it. It was worth the wait. All I would've said only better, and a few things I would've forgotten to say.

Posted by: Ponytailed Conservative at May 16, 2005 09:51 PM (Mu8gg)

6 I am not going to the site, and I hope no one else does. There are other better blogs to be reading. It is like feeding a monster. Who?

Posted by: ArmyWifeToddlerMom at May 16, 2005 10:00 PM (KvPhE)

7 Hot damn, Harvey! That was beautiful. If you were a chick I would be so turned on right now.

Posted by: Jim at May 16, 2005 10:01 PM (MDLz3)

8 Oh. "If they wanted to blog, they would start at Blogger like everyone else." Unless they were exceptionally foolish, and decided to try to write their own blogware from scratch... which I now wouldn't advise to my worst enemy...

Posted by: Ponytailed Conservative at May 16, 2005 10:18 PM (Mu8gg)

9 PC - Leave Arianna a comment suggesting she write her own blogware :-) Oh... wait... you CAN'T... her "blog" doesn't have comments... Nevermind ;-)

Posted by: Harvey at May 16, 2005 10:48 PM (ubhj8)

10 She can grab MY handle any time she wants... I just won't promise it won't spit up on her... prolly in about 3.276 seconds... they don;t all ME quick draw for nuttin'...

Posted by: Madfish Willie at May 16, 2005 11:02 PM (i5QFj)

11 Dead on, just about every single word... well well said, Harvey.

Posted by: Confederate Yankee at May 17, 2005 12:24 AM (CO4eV)

12 "You don't just toss off a steaming pile of unfinished thought-crap, call it good, and wait for Lady Fortune to kick in your door toting buckets full of gold coins." No? Ah, crap, I'm doing it all wrong. Back to the drawing board..

Posted by: Ogre at May 17, 2005 06:38 AM (/k+l4)

13 Amen!

Posted by: _Jon at May 17, 2005 08:31 AM (ewFgD)

14 My fav line: the blogosphere is a herd of cats. LOL!

Posted by: Susie at May 17, 2005 08:43 AM (IPJ6q)

15 I think this has to be one of the best rants I've read in a while. Great job Harvey.

Posted by: Contagion at May 17, 2005 09:29 AM (977gQ)

16 I love tha part where she like totally flipped out and started puking green soup at Evil Glenn, and then the ninjas came out of nowhere and started flipping out and killing people. That was cool.

Posted by: littlejoe at May 17, 2005 02:14 PM (QJRRo)

17 I'm freakin' a dollar short and a day late on posting my stuff. Anyway, what you said. Anyway, I posted from a different angle. I posted about the parody site that's been set up to spoof Ariana's site. I hear it's doing well, with some great guest blogging. I hear some interesting comedic muslims have been brought out of retirement to deal with the likes of her. check it out: http://huffingtonstoast.com/

Posted by: michele at May 17, 2005 02:42 PM (ht2RK)

18 She seems to think 'heh' and 'indeed' are typical blog posts. The Huff-n-post bloggers don't have comments turned on, that's why they get on with their lives. There's no conversation, they've TOLD us the way it is, end of story. They don't hear us saying 'Well, that was asinine.'

Posted by: spacemonkey at May 17, 2005 04:28 PM (DN55C)

19 The worst part is that we in the 'sphere keep giving her "press," because she and the rest of her cohorts are so bad.

Posted by: William Teach at May 17, 2005 09:39 PM (HxpPK)

20 WT - Although eventually we'll find someone else to kick around & she'll fade into obscurity. Hope she enjoys her 15 minutes.

Posted by: Harvey at May 17, 2005 10:02 PM (ubhj8)

21 Excellent post, Harvey! BTW, as Laurence Simon has pointed out, they have not ONCE catblogged. Even Jeff Goldstein jokes about catblogging, but I haven't heard any feline references yet.

Posted by: Tom at May 18, 2005 01:25 AM (DIhXY)

22 Tom - just further proof of her non-bloggerdom :-)

Posted by: Harvey at May 18, 2005 06:42 AM (ubhj8)

23 Harvey my blogenius, The best post on blogging. PERIOD. I have done a Post on your Post. Is that a Peme? Whateveh.........New to Blogging? Here's the Best Defense of Blogging I salute you, King of all that is Blogging Good Mwah! Pamela I've got a Crush on You

Posted by: Pamela at May 18, 2005 09:26 AM (6krEN)

24 PEME- a "Post" meme just made it up (obviously) not to worry, it wont stick

Posted by: Pamela at May 18, 2005 09:30 AM (6krEN)

25 Harvey, this post is what I meant by being an original thinker.

Posted by: Michele at May 18, 2005 10:28 AM (NYNS1)

26 Harvey, Thanks for such an honest, inspiring post. You have embodied how I feel as my blog takes a turn I didn't want it to take, but if it is to remain truth, the journey must continue. To me, being a serious blogger is about blogging even when you don't want to---even when it hurts! Even at the risk of ridicule or abandonment. Simply put, I have a story to tell, so I'm gonna BLOG ON!!

Posted by: Nzyme at May 18, 2005 05:40 PM (Hj8R9)

27 Eventually she will. Right now she is #13, and I would dearly love to see beyond the top 25 linkers in the ecosphere. I bet most are RWers. She started that blog for all the wrong reasons, and it will catch up with her.

Posted by: William Teach at May 18, 2005 07:42 PM (HxpPK)

28 Pure poetry, Harvey. Again.

Posted by: pam at May 19, 2005 08:15 AM (l6NIn)

29 Very funny, yet very true...especially your points regarding bloggers being proud of what they write, and therefore giving it every bit of effort possible!

Posted by: Pam M. at May 23, 2005 03:16 PM (rx9LD)

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