November 23, 2004
TODAY'S LOVE NOTE
(
Introduction)
Love is a burning desire,
That makes your heart light on fire,
Love is being with you,
Someone saying I love you, too,
Love is your tender kiss,
Something you don't want to miss,
Love is you and me,
And that is all I see.
(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)
Posted by: Harvey at
10:30 PM
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1
I could probably see a little more, but... you know... the blindfold...
Posted by: Harvey at November 23, 2004 10:31 PM (ubhj8)
2
You could probably see a little more...
if you pulled your head out of your ass!
Posted by: Madfish Willie at November 23, 2004 10:38 PM (i3SrF)
3
...that, and the two black eyes she gave you when she cought you looking at her sister.
Posted by: GEBIV at November 24, 2004 12:20 AM (jlp8i)
4
...and the pyromania tendencies....setting hearts on fire? geez...that's intense...
Posted by: Melissa at November 24, 2004 08:14 AM (ZuKAk)
5
arson, violence, head-rectum insertion... you people ARE sick :-P
Posted by: Harvey at November 24, 2004 05:51 PM (ubhj8)
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DEPENDS ON WHAT YOU MEAN BY "WE"
Via the
Showcase, I found Dawn of SWFw/Attitude [Note: the permalink page seems to have display issues in Firefox. If you can't see it, try going to
the main page & scrolling down to November 22 "Don't we owe them something?"]
asking a question, which she sets up thusly:
I do volunteer work every Monday night at a local place that cares for kids who are in dire straits.[...]The ache in my heart sometimes comes from the fact that there is almost NEVER just one child from an unfit home -- there are almost always at least two and, most often, there are three or more.
I guess my "issue" tonight could be best put in the words of Keanu Reeves's character in the movie Parenthood: "You have to have a license to drive and you even have to have a license to fish. But they'll let any butt reaming a$$hole be a parent."
The question that vexes me tonight (and many Monday nights) is:
Why do we continue to let unfit parents procreate ?? [emphasis in original]
Dawn, I know you're just having a bad day, and you know the answer. You're only asking the question rhetorically out of frustration, the same way I continually ask, "My dog can come when I call him, why can't my beer?".
But let's say that your question was being asked by some crazy left-winger with no control over her mouth or brain who sees no necessary limitations on the power of government to do whatever it wants, as long as it's "for the children". I'll call her [picking a name completely at random] Teresa Hunts-Catsup, or THC for short - since she's obviously high on SOMETHING.
The problem with the question is the use of the word "we". "We" means "you & I, together". But in the question, THC doesn't mean "we". What she MEANS is "someone BESIDES me". What she's asking is for someone she doesn't know to go up to someone else she doesn't know and forcibly (albeit temporarily) sterilize them sexually. Generous woman that she is, THC is willing to pick up 1/100,000,000th of the tab via her tax dollars, since it means she doesn't have to get her hands dirty.
Here's the question she's NOT asking, but which really IS part of the "we": "Why do *I* continue to let unfit parents procreate?"
And the answer is "because I don't really want it bad enough to do it myself".
The thing is, keeping unfit parents from breeding IS something an individual could do. You could spend your time tracking down unfit parents and then bribing, cajoling, persuading, threatening or intimidating them (within the boundaries of civil law) until they accepted sterilization. But this means investing your own time & money, plus having to actually look the unfit parents in the eyes and say "I think you're an unfit parent, and I would prefer to see you sterilized."
Which is a hard thing to do, and I wouldn't blame anyone - even wacky liberals who like to see kids
running around naked - for not having THAT much dedication.
It just always makes me a little edgy to have people wishing for the state to do an unpleasant job for them that they aren't willing to handle themselves. History has shown FAR too often where such wishing can lead.
Posted by: Harvey at
06:39 PM
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1
Good point, Harvey. Never thought of that kind of situation from that angle, but you make a lot of sense.
Scary, isn't it?
Posted by: songstress7 at November 23, 2004 06:45 PM (jEGU/)
2
The other issue would be... what is an unfit parent? Now it seems this would have an obvious answer, but stop and think for a few minutes. Because it would have to be defined legally. Think of the ramifications of that!
We all know it wouldn't end up being just the parents on drugs or those who abandon their kids without supervision. No, they might start by defining it that way... but then it would escalate. We would see religion brought into it - one man's religion is another man's cult... who's right? We would see smokers brought into it - oh yeah, you filthy smoker you, you are dangerous to your child - you can't have any more! There would be drinkers brought into it - don't you dare get drunk ever - you are then an unfit parent.
There are degrees of behavior, trying to legislate them always fails. Also, trying to control behavior like this leads to other types of legislation, causing even more rules to be put in place. Soon, you are living under a dictatorship. And you've made everyone miserable in order to try and "save" some children... sadly I don't think any children would be saved in this way. And the children who are already there and in trouble would end up in even worse straits.
Nope it doesn't work for me. Sorry.
Posted by: Teresa at November 23, 2004 09:07 PM (nAfYo)
3
Some of the strongest, most highly motivate people on the planet came from fucked up beginnings.
And some of the sickest, most fucked up people on the planet came from plush family settings.
But you could implement something like:
In order to continue to receive State Welfare, you have to have a monthly shot that makes you sterile.
Posted by: _Jon at November 24, 2004 08:02 AM (g9Y9+)
4
Not to mention that the government doesn't do all that great of a job weeding out the wackos as it is--that woman who killed her 11 month old by cutting off its arms had recently been declared
not a danger to her family by various social service agencies.
Posted by: Susie at November 24, 2004 09:02 AM (oQsnM)
5
Well put, Harvey. But I can see that you've never been to a matinee showing of a new movie out in Brooklyn; it'd shake your principles up a bit...
Posted by: Linus at November 24, 2004 11:04 AM (Bf+TD)
6
Wow. There's not much left for me to say. I agree with everything that Harvey, Teresa, Jon and Susie said.
Posted by: Lynn S at November 24, 2004 12:10 PM (tQVwH)
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Linus - Which movie... National Treasure? :-)
Posted by: Harvey at November 24, 2004 05:50 PM (ubhj8)
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Okay, Harvey... you nailed it right on the head:
Dawn, I know you're just having a bad day, and you know the answer. You're only asking the question rhetorically out of frustration, the same way I continually ask, "My dog can come when I call him, why can't my beer?".
Thank you for clarifying my own writing for me. Yes, I had had a very bad day that day. I am spending my evening tonight de-lousing myself as a result of that bad Monday night I had. Two kids (brother & sister) with scabies, and two other kids (again, brother & sister) with head lice and pinworms. So no good deed goes unpunished and for my rhetorical whining I am now sentenced to an evening alone -- just me and the Rid instructions.
Yes, I suppose I did mean "I" rather than we. I certainly would tell an unfit parent face-to-face, in no uncertain terms, that he/she should be permanently removed from the gene pool in a number of ways.
In the meantime, I'll keep my whiny rhetoric out of bloggerspace so as not to get so thoroughly BUSTED next time... ;-)
Posted by: Dawn at November 24, 2004 06:16 PM (q+/xO)
9
-- "
I'll keep my whiny rhetoric out of bloggerspace" --
Hey! No need to go that far. Nobody wants anyone to set an example we would all be expected to live up to. ;-)
Posted by: Lynn S at November 24, 2004 09:52 PM (fssbn)
10
What Lynn said. If it wasn't for whiny rhetoric, what the hell would I blog about? :-)
Posted by: Harvey at November 26, 2004 06:01 PM (ubhj8)
11
Ahem... well, I'm hoping you'll find some material on a truly whiny LIBERAL blog! I suppose I had a momentary lapse of conservatism and got TOTALLY busted by Harvey. Ah well, thanks for keeping me in line. I'm enjoying your blog immensely, by the way. I am happy to find that I was a mild bust for you in comparison to some of the others! hehehe
Posted by: Dawn at November 28, 2004 11:07 PM (q+/xO)
12
mmmm... mild bust... ;-)
Posted by: Harvey at November 28, 2004 11:21 PM (ubhj8)
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LOOKING FOR YOUR JOKES
Nick of Patriot Paradox is collecting your (clean) jokes
in the comments to this post, and hopes to make a regular Tuesday event of it.
Go & leave him your best material.
GEBIV & Bartender, you guys might as well stay home, since you fail the good and clean tests, respectively :-P
Posted by: Harvey at
10:16 AM
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1
Ain't that last statement the truth!!! I've been popping over to the Salon and laughing my ass off.......shame ya'll are the only ones I can share those with!! ;-)
Posted by: Tammi at November 23, 2004 11:48 AM (UOdfZ)
2
No problem. I'm not the author of any of them anyways. I just find them and share them. :-P
Posted by: GEBIV at November 23, 2004 03:20 PM (usxTf)
3
Actually there are some clean ones over there for Thanksgiving. I actually shared them with my mom. But overall, I agree with Harvey... you normally fail the good and clean test. ;-) And I LOVE it. Keep up the good work.
Posted by: vw bug at November 23, 2004 05:07 PM (gMGwn)
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November 22, 2004
TODAY'S LOVE NOTE
(
Introduction)
Life is an ocean and love is a boat
In troubled waters it keeps us afloat
When we started the voyage there was just me and you
Now gathered 'round us we have our own crew
(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)
Posted by: Harvey at
10:49 PM
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1
...now how do we get rid of the rest of these people?
Posted by: GEBIV at November 22, 2004 10:55 PM (usxTf)
2
I didn't know you were an exhibitionist, Harv.
Posted by: CD at November 23, 2004 12:17 AM (bsi5Z)
Posted by: _Jon at November 23, 2004 06:45 AM (ewFgD)
4
It's missing a line.
Life is an ocean and love is a boat
In troubled waters it keeps us afloat
When we started the voyage there was just me and you
Now gathered 'round us we have our own crew
I wish they'd go to bed, so we can finally screw
Ahh, perfect.
Posted by: mike at November 23, 2004 03:15 PM (4uQ2O)
5
Darn... I sent this to my husband too soon. I love the final line addition!
Posted by: vw bug at November 23, 2004 05:09 PM (gMGwn)
6
You people are just naughty! :-P
Posted by: Harvey at November 23, 2004 06:04 PM (ubhj8)
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JUST KEEP CLICKING. YOU'LL FIGURE IT OUT
I don't usually like games that require thought - I'd rather just blow stuff up - but
this quaint little Flash conundrum compelled me to keep poking until I got satisfaction.
Which only SOUNDS dirty, because it's quite safe for work.
Assuming you're not actually supposed to be WORKING at the time.
[hat tip to LeeAnn of The Cheese Stands Alone]
Posted by: Harvey at
08:46 PM
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1
I saw this over there and it was instant addiction.
Mindless, clicky addiction.
Great for insomnia, just like she said.
Posted by: Tammi at November 22, 2004 10:09 PM (UOdfZ)
2
Took about ten minutes.
Ten minutes of my life that I'll never get back.
CURSE YOU HARVEY!!!!!!
:-P
Posted by: GEBIV at November 22, 2004 10:13 PM (usxTf)
3
Hey, that was kinda fun. Frustrating, but fun.
Posted by: songstress7 at November 22, 2004 11:45 PM (ZT2y5)
4
OK, I'm stuck blowing off steam in that effing boiler room! Somebody give me a hint, please!!!
Posted by: Barbara at November 23, 2004 03:15 PM (qWDR1)
5
get the "Q" dial to point at 50 and then press the little ladder symbol.
Posted by: GEBIV at November 23, 2004 03:26 PM (usxTf)
6
Thank you very much! LOL I figured out the hint, but couldn't get beyond that point...I had visions of ending my days pushing buttons in an obviously futile attempt to happen on just the right combination...meanwhile, my roots would be growing in, the half-and-half would sour, and I'd miss my plane Fri. morning!
Posted by: Barbara at November 23, 2004 04:16 PM (qWDR1)
7
Hi Barbara!
Long-time lurker, or just passing through? :-)
By the way, I have to agree that the boiler room WAS a bit frustrating :-)
Posted by: Harvey at November 23, 2004 06:03 PM (ubhj8)
8
I'm a new (pre-election) blogger, clicking links for unique blogs, wandered in here, decided to hang around awhile.
Forget Phonics...I'm Hooked on Blogs! LOL
Posted by: Barbara at November 24, 2004 08:21 AM (qWDR1)
9
Barbara - YAY! Someone new to play with!
So, do you HAVE a blog, or are you still in the "just reading" phase?
Posted by: Harvey at November 24, 2004 05:54 PM (ubhj8)
10
I'll wait till I have something useful to contribute...AND some idea of behind the scenes stuff, as well as a clue about blog terminology.
Nonetheless, I'm willing to play...what are the rules? LOL
Posted by: Barbara at November 24, 2004 06:23 PM (+btiZ)
11
Hey, Harvey...Have you played the Balloon Head game at this site? I'm stuck...again!
Posted by: Barbara at November 24, 2004 07:24 PM (+btiZ)
12
Herbey just plays with himself... he don't need no stinkin Balloon Head....
Posted by: Madfish Willie at November 25, 2004 11:08 PM (i3SrF)
13
Playing with my Baloon Head... Heh ;-)
Barbara - as for the "rules", I cover them pretty thoroughly here:
http://badexample.mu.nu/archives/048447.php
Read and consider.
Posted by: Harvey at November 26, 2004 06:05 PM (ubhj8)
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HEY ROCKY! WATCH ME PULL A RABBIT OUT OF MY HAT!
I love a good magic trick.
Probably my favorite is a little thing Beloved Wife does that she first showed me many years ago. I thought it was unique to her, but according to Dilip of Death Ends Fun (found via the Showcase), a lot of women have this particular sleight of... er... hand... in their repertoire:
And what was this lesson? How to remove a bra from one's person without first removing outer garment(s) from that selfsame person. That is, how to achieve such removal on one's own. Because we're not talking here about external personages effecting the said removals. That vital life lesson was left, we presumed and daydreamed about, for another day.
Yeah, it's the old "keep the shirt on, take the bra off" trick.
I don't know what it is, exactly, about this maneuver, but it has the same effect on me as roses, candlelight & diamonds have on women.
Think of it as "fabric V!agra".
Posted by: Harvey at
08:33 PM
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1
Hunh. Do all men feel that way? That's like one of the first things you figure out how to do when you start having to wear one of those damn things. I've taken it off at a stop light...
Posted by: Boudicca at November 22, 2004 09:01 PM (XH1zZ)
2
I don't like formal long-sleeved blouses with cuffs. Slows you down.
Posted by: Tatyana at November 23, 2004 08:21 AM (1qpF3)
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I think it's one of those inborn things, you just know how to do it. No training neccessary.
I can do it in dead of winter wear without even adding time to my summer wear time.
It amazes my hubby every time I take it off too. Like it's a wonder of the world.
Posted by: Machelle at November 23, 2004 11:43 AM (RrSAf)
4
When our daughter is around, Alex does this for me under my clothes as soon as we get home. He calls it, "Freeing The [our town here] Two".
Posted by: Sally at November 23, 2004 01:30 PM (a1D32)
Posted by: Harvey at November 23, 2004 06:01 PM (ubhj8)
6
My wife-back before she was my wife- entered a competition on stage at a local bar to see which woman could accomplish this feat quickest. She dusted the competition. My likey very much.
Posted by: physics geek at November 24, 2004 10:16 AM (Xvrs7)
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TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY
(click to enlarge)
[St. Jude - Anyone who gets this bill will be blessed with lots of money if you re-write this on 10 more bills]
Smelling opportunity, Bubba wrote this on his cable, electric, gas, water, phone, Visa, MasterCard, insurance, mortgage, and Porn-of-the-Month Club bills.
[hat tip to bloggranddaughter VW Bug of One Happy Dog Speaks for the pic]
Posted by: Harvey at
08:16 PM
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Posted by: Susie at November 22, 2004 08:21 PM (oQsnM)
2
How come you aint done no graffiti post on them there new $50's? Or did I jest happen to miss thet one?
(I'm just commenting in a manner that I believe you would expect from someone who owns a...
Dun dun dun!!!!!
BANJO!)
Posted by: GEBIV at November 22, 2004 08:39 PM (usxTf)
3
AHHHH!!! Stop saying that word! The is the one word that the Knights Who Say "Pr0n" may never hear!
Posted by: Harvey at November 23, 2004 06:01 PM (ubhj8)
4
I was taught as a small child that putting the words "St. Jude" on Federal currency was a crime (we were always taught to spell it out "Saint Jude" and got our knuckles rapped for doing otherwise).
What the HELL is the world coming to. They don't even enforce the currency defacement amendment to the constitution any more.
Posted by: Jeff at November 24, 2004 04:28 PM (vndNt)
5
Wait... I'm not DONE here.
Suppose EVERYONE just starts thinking it is OK to change the word "saint" to a couple of silly letters? And what if people get confused? Suppose I'm throwing a kegger with heroine and weed (a Catholic one, of course), and I write "Take a left on St. Jude" on the back of your release papers? You could miss the party by a whole BLOCK if I happen to live on Jude Street!
Posted by: Jeff at November 24, 2004 04:50 PM (vndNt)
6
Jeff - You're a nut :-P
Anyway, that "currency defacement" law is mostly, I believe, a bonus charge to tack onto criminals who destroy money in the process of stealing it.
Posted by: Harvey at November 26, 2004 05:57 PM (ubhj8)
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ONE LITTLE DAY OFF
GEEZ, TAKE ONE LITTLE DAY OFF
...and the British tabloids are all over my ass.
Now they're making slimy insinuations about my Naval service. That's REALLY going to far.
Looks like I have to avenge myself with:
SOCCER BADGERS!
Guinness & fighting!
Sheep & dirt!
Ninjas and lasers and gold!
Posted by: Harvey at
07:41 PM
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1
you are an evil little man...
and you forgot about haggis & scotch eggs...
Posted by: Mike the Marine at November 23, 2004 07:05 PM (PK/tF)
2
Brilliant!
Does it ever end? I'm at 11 goals now.........
Funny how when you repeat a word that many times that it just starts sounding really weird. Footy Footy Footy Fuckty Foody Fudgee Budgee twoFoot twoFoot
Ok 14 goals. Gonna have a lifelong earworm after this... England England... Footy Footy ..
Now I'm gonna have to check to see how the limeys are doing in their WC quallies. All I know at this moment is that the US Nats has advanced to the final quallies of CONCACAF.
Posted by: tbflowers at November 28, 2004 07:07 PM (uzUar)
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November 20, 2004
TODAY'S LOVE NOTE
(
Introduction)
A Beautiful Marriage Vow
As I stand here today with the world as my witness,
I pledge to you my undying and everlasting love.
I will stand beside you as your partner,
I will stand before you as your protector,
And I will stand behind you as your solace.
Please spend and end your life with me.
(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)
Posted by: Harvey at
05:37 PM
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But first I'm going to stand AWAY from you, because Tuesday is poker night with the boys. Don't wait up.
Posted by: Harvey at November 20, 2004 05:37 PM (ubhj8)
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... and downwind from you until after a shower. I promise!
Posted by: GEBIV at November 21, 2004 09:52 AM (usxTf)
3
bleh.
Drop the "end with" phrase and you have something good.
Having such a morbid / mortal concept within the message is distracting and negative.
I could twist that into a bunch of different sexu
iCouldTwistThatIntoABunchOfDifferentSexualPositionsIfIHadMoreTimeThisMorning...
Posted by: _Jon at November 22, 2004 08:39 AM (ZM3Qb)
4
Yes, I'm with _Jon. Get rid of the morbidity in the last statement. I propose that it be changed to:
Please spend your life with me and promise to provide sex on demand* forever.
(*afterall, that's what marriage is for anyway, right? the sex on demand...)
Posted by: Melissa at November 22, 2004 09:55 AM (ZuKAk)
5
Marriage is for sex on demand? Someone didn't inform MY partner of that...
Posted by: Boudicca at November 22, 2004 03:31 PM (XH1zZ)
6
Please check some relevant pages in the field of...
Posted by: at March 31, 2005 03:25 PM (0kgcI)
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TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY
(click to enlarge)
Product of a disastrous genetics experiment involving DNA from Satan, Woody Allen, and Mick Jagger.
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CARNIVAL OF THE PAJAMAS #7
After spending a week in Jamaica, I barely even remember HOW to blog, much less how to
dress for it, however, the rest of the blogosphere is NOT similarly afflicted, so the following folks demonstrate the meaning of "proper blogging attire":
Tammi of Road Warrior Survival thinks she knows how to dress for northern winter weather. Here's a hint sweetie - you wear that top number and you'll freeze your belly-button ring off. Better stick with that hot little Amish outfit (I didn't know they were allowed to have necklines THAT low!)
Boudicca of Boudicca's Voice has a little hair-control problem, but otherwise looking sweet in her blogging dayware. Just watch out for those big green guys who can't tell the difference between "hug" and "SMASH!"
Jeff of Au Fait wears the most uncomfortable outfit imaginable when he blogs, i.e. an ENTIRE FREAKIN' SAILBOAT! I hear those things tend to ride up in the back, which has got to be about a 9.5 on the Wedgie Scale.
Oh, and if you're a dolphin, then FLEE! FLEE FOR YOUR VERY LIFE! *SQUEEEEEE!*
Almost Tabitha of Blown Fuse prefers something more cozy, like this sweater & ice-cream-cake combo. Happy Birthday!
As for me, (Harvey of Bad Example) I had this one taken... let's just call it "a while ago", and... well, I didn't know there was a camera around. Anyway, I still think it's fairly comfortable blogwear. You'll probably want to click the picture so you can see the uncropped version ;-)
Finally my suggestion for the ladies next time: follow this woman and shop wherever she does.
Does The Gap have a Hussywear department?
Anyway, same rules for next week:
Post a picture of yourself (or a professional model whose picture you copied off some web page - like I'd know the difference anyway) in your favorite blogging attire. Leave a permalink in the comments to this post, send a trackback, or e-mail the link directly to me at harvolson-at-charter.net.
If you have trouble hosting images, you can send me the picture, and I'll post it for you, along with your description.
If you don't have a blog, but you're feeling particularly creative, same as above.
Entries due by 12pm CDT, Saturday, November 27th, and I'll post the round-up Saturday afternoonish.
And if I missed your entry, give a holler in the comments or to harvolson-at-charter.net
Posted by: Harvey at
05:07 PM
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1
I think that is my favorite picture of you yet. ROTFLMAO!!!
Oh, and Harvey? If I looked like that you can bet your sweet ass I'd shop where she does.
Posted by: Tammi at November 20, 2004 05:51 PM (UOdfZ)
2
So that's what "having your butt in a sling" looks like. I'd always wondered.
Posted by: GEBIV at November 20, 2004 06:57 PM (UJD3H)
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November 19, 2004
TODAY'S LOVE NOTE
(
Introduction)
Love is:
Running into her arms,
Colliding with her heart,
And exploding into her soul.
(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)
Posted by: Harvey at
09:37 PM
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1
... or into her mouth... whichever.
Posted by: Harvey at November 19, 2004 09:37 PM (ubhj8)
2
I saw that one coming... No Pun Intended! LOL!
Posted by: Boudicca at November 19, 2004 09:40 PM (XH1zZ)
3
... my man-juice blowing out the back of her head...
Posted by: Madfish Willie at November 20, 2004 04:53 PM (rp9nr)
4
Is that some sort of a romantic suicide bombing thing you've got going on?
Posted by: Earl at November 21, 2004 03:42 PM (6krEN)
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EVIL GLENN'S AMUSEMENT PARK
(
A FILTHY LIE)
The following is a transcript of a conversation between myself and Glenn Reynolds.
Here's a llama, there's a llama
and another little llama,
fuzzy llama, funny llama,
llama, llama, duck.
What the...?
Looks like I must've taped over the first part. Just a sec
[fast forwards]
Ah. Here we go...
Harv: You built a hobo-themed amusement park in Berkeley?
Evil Glenn: Why not? They've got a thriving homeless population there, and I figured this would be a good way to keep them from getting all sterno'd up and wandering away before I could sacrifice them to Satan in exchange for the dark powers that keep me atop the ecosystem.
Harv: But what about the rest of the population? The gays? The college students?
Evil Glenn: Hobos, homos, hippies, hobie cats... whatever. Satan's not particular about spelling when it comes to unholy offerings. He's the Prince of Darkness, not an English teacher.
Harv: Funny. I thought my English teacher WAS Satan.
Evil Glenn: Your English teacher had horns and cloven hooves?
Harv: Well, she had horn-rim glasses. I couldn't tell about the hooves. She always wore heels.
Evil Glenn: Satan's not a woman.
Harv: [pause] This coming from a married man?...
Evil Glenn: ... Touché. Anyway, you'll LOVE Glennyland. It's got...
Where can you see lions? Only in Kenya.
Come to Kenya, we've got lions.
Where can you see tigers? Only in Kenya.
Got lions & tigers only in Kenya.
Forget Norway.
DAMMIT!
[fast forwards]
Harv: Ok, I'll admit the Bumcot Center sounds pretty cool - an entire city run by hobo-energy. It's hard to believe you found a way to extract power from layabout alcoholics. Sounds like something out of The Matrix.
Evil Glenn: Actually, it's based more on the Irish railroad-worker model of the 19th century, but it's almost the same thing.
Harv: I'll have to warn Matty O'Blackfive. Meanwhile, I really can't let you continue to destroy innocent lives like this. Prepare to be thwarted!
Evil Glenn: MUAHAHAHAHAHA! You are powerless against me! There's no way to prevent Glennylands from opening in every city of the nation!... Well, I suppose there is ONE exploitable flaw in my plan. If you...
BadgerBadgerBadgerBadgerBadgerBadgerBadgerBadgerBadgerBadgerBadgerBadger
MUSHROOM! MUSHROOM!
awwww CRAP!
[fast forwards]
Who loves the chocolate?
Everyone loves the chocolate.
Nobody hates the chocolate.
'Cos everyone loves the chocolate!
Son of a...
[fast forwards]
The treasure of Duck Pond Island will soon be mine!
Lousy piece o'...
[fast forwards]
Everyone loves magical Trevor
'Cuz the tricks that he does are ever so clever.
[fast forwards]
I've seen things, I've seen them with my eyes.
I've seen things, they're often in disguise.
Like carrots, handbags, cheese...
[fast forwards]
[tape breaks]
Ah screw it. Just watch this weird Korean cat/rabbit version of a Pepe LePew cartoon while I try to get Glenn back on the phone.
INSTAPUNDO DELENDA EST!
Posted by: Harvey at
08:34 PM
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Post contains 468 words, total size 4 kb.
1
You truly are evil, Harv....
Posted by: Susie at November 19, 2004 09:36 PM (VR4G3)
2
If I didn't love you so much I'd be really pissed right now!
Posted by: Tammi at November 19, 2004 09:49 PM (UOdfZ)
3
Dude, you totally need to lay off the crack.
Posted by: Mason Kidd at November 20, 2004 12:21 AM (ZPyjl)
4
That last one gives a whole new meaning to "predator/prey relationship"
Posted by: GEBIV at November 20, 2004 10:48 AM (UJD3H)
Posted by: Madfish Willie at November 20, 2004 11:13 AM (Uq/6d)
6
There will be badgers in my nightmares.
Posted by: William Teach at November 20, 2004 01:34 PM (KCG7N)
7
There are only 11 "badgers" in the video thingy...
Posted by: Madfish Willie at November 20, 2004 05:53 PM (rp9nr)
Posted by: William Teach at November 21, 2004 11:54 AM (KCG7N)
9
PS: Is there anyone out there who could replace the badgers with puppies, the shroom with a blender, and the snake with a hobo?
Posted by: William Teach at November 21, 2004 12:05 PM (KCG7N)
Posted by: at December 25, 2004 10:49 AM (S0VBe)
11
America is wonderbar!
Posted by: at January 15, 2005 05:22 PM (8ROeh)
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QUOTE OF THE DAY
From Lynn of
Reflections in D Minor.
I put this up at work so that I may contemplate her wisdom as I'm assaulted by customers who blather on like Sniffles the Mouse:
I guess, sometimes the need to have some kind of noise coming out of one's mouth is more important than saying something intelligent.
Posted by: Harvey at
07:33 AM
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Post contains 63 words, total size 1 kb.
1
And the noises I can make...Oh, you meant words...
Posted by: Ogre at November 19, 2004 10:16 AM (/k+l4)
2
That should be the tagline for the crappy blog....
Posted by: Madfish Willie at November 19, 2004 12:33 PM (Uq/6d)
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CARNIVAL OF THE PAJAMAS #7: LAST CALL
Post a picture of yourself (or a professional model whose picture you copied off some web page - like I'd know the difference anyway) in your favorite blogging attire. Leave a permalink in the comments to this post, send a trackback, or e-mail the link directly to me at harvolson@charter.net.
If you have trouble hosting images, you can send me the picture, and I'll post it for you, along with your description.
If you don't have a blog, but you're feeling particularly creative, same as above.
Entries due by 12pm CST, Saturday, November 20th, and I'll post the round-up Saturday afternoonish.
See the CotP category for previous round-ups.
Posted by: Harvey at
07:25 AM
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Post contains 122 words, total size 1 kb.
November 18, 2004
DESPERATE ATTEMPT TO DEFEAT SPAM FILTER
Gotta give spam-boy creativity points for this little gem I found in my inbox:
Any purple eraser is on fire. Our hairy ram calms-down and still a given expensive laptop makes sound. A given bluish golden round-shaped beautiful slopy glasses makes sound. Any beautiful cat stinks. A purple silver camera lies or maybe a tall baby calms-down. Their red fancy gun stares as soon as their well-crafted house adheres. Her beautiful exam book fidgeting. A given round round-shaped slopy tv stares. Mine little beautiful ram show its value while his brothers tall white book calculates. A given shining round soft wine prepare for fight. Our children fancy eraser makes sound. Mine stupid exam book smiles. His green wine is on fire. A slopy mobile phone arrives. Our bluish golden camera sleeps. A smart ipaq got an idea. Her fancy spoon lies while the little bra adheres. His brothers round glove smiles. Her daughters small baby makes sound.
I'm half-tempted to click the porn link that came with it as an homage to his efforts.
Posted by: Harvey at
11:12 PM
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Post contains 186 words, total size 1 kb.
1
It's all crap designed to beat Spamkillers. I just tend to nuke a rnage of addresses rather than worrying about each mail - stupid people *mutters*...
Posted by: Alex at November 19, 2004 03:08 AM (a1D32)
2
It's like depraved poetry.
Posted by: Nick Queen at November 19, 2004 03:47 PM (gBeRV)
3
Man, I hate those slopy mobile phones! That slope on the back makes them squirt out of your hand at the most inopportune times like a bar of wet soap.
I'm not sure I understand "Her beautiful exam book fidgeting." but the rest makes perfect sense to me...
Posted by: Jeff at November 20, 2004 11:30 PM (MEOgO)
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TODAY'S LOVE NOTE
(
Introduction)
I love that you get cold when it's seventy degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend a day with you I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night.
(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)
Posted by: Harvey at
07:20 PM
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Post contains 100 words, total size 1 kb.
1
And the fact that your daddy is filthy rich is completely irrelevant.
Posted by: Harvey at November 18, 2004 07:23 PM (ubhj8)
2
**just so you know, one of my all time favorite movie scenes EVER**
Posted by: Tammi at November 18, 2004 07:54 PM (UOdfZ)
Posted by: Teresa at November 18, 2004 08:56 PM (nAfYo)
Posted by: _Jon at November 19, 2004 12:40 PM (grH7t)
5
When Harry Met Sally, _Jon. It came out when my husband and I were dating. The best part of the quote is "I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible." I quoted that when we got engaged.
Posted by: Boudicca at November 19, 2004 04:31 PM (XH1zZ)
6
It's a good line. It's just a shame you have to sit through the whole movie to get to it :-)
Posted by: Harvey at November 19, 2004 06:14 PM (ubhj8)
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TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY
(click to enlarge)
[For Bubba - Tell Him To Leave You Alone Tonight]
Somewhere in the distance, Dueling Banjos began to play...
Posted by: Harvey at
07:19 PM
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Post contains 18 words, total size 1 kb.
1
Now you're just being prejudice against rednecks and banjo players. ;-)
Posted by: GEBIV at November 18, 2004 09:27 PM (usxTf)
2
Don't use the "b" word in my comments! :-P
Posted by: Harvey at November 18, 2004 11:07 PM (ubhj8)
Posted by: GEBIV at November 19, 2004 09:41 AM (UJD3H)
4
Poor Bubba--the guy just can't get any.
Respect! That's what I meant,he can't get respect, yeah, that's the ticket...
Posted by: Susie at November 19, 2004 11:33 AM (cpb8T)
5
[throws rock at GEBIV]
Susie - you are a bad girl with bad thoughts ;-)
Posted by: Harvey at November 19, 2004 06:12 PM (ubhj8)
6
Banjo Banjo Banjo Banjo Banjo Banjo Banjo Banjo Banjo Banjo Banjo Banjo Banjo Banjo Banjo Banjo Banjo Banjo Banjo Banjo Banjo Banjo Banjo Banjo Banjo Banjo Banjo Banjo Banjo Banjo Banjo Banjo Banjo Banjo Banjo Banjo Banjo Banjo Banjo Banjo Banjo Banjo Banjo Banjo Banjo Banjo Banjo Banjo Banjo Banjo Banjo Banjo Banjo Banjo Banjo Banjo Banjo Banjo Banjo Banjo Banjo Banjo Banjo Banjo Banjo Banjo Banjo Banjo Banjo Banjo Banjo Banjo
Posted by: GEBIV at November 20, 2004 04:02 PM (usxTf)
Posted by: GEBIV at November 20, 2004 04:02 PM (usxTf)
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