October 24, 2004
To love a person is to learn the song
That is in their heart,
And to sing it to them
When they have forgotten.
(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)
Posted by: Harvey at
09:23 PM
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I think I found John Kerry's "integrity, integrity, integrity".
Posted by: Harvey at
09:12 PM
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October 23, 2004
I nominated her for a home at MuNu. If you're a MuNu member, please go to Ellis Island and give her a "YAY!" in the comments.
Posted by: Harvey at
06:55 PM
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The uncut version of Stolen Honor, all 42 minutes of it, is available for viewing. Free.
Since I've read "When Hell Was In Session", a lot of the information about the torture of the POW's came as no surprise to me. The part I found most intriguing was the footage of filthy hippies conspiring to lie about war crimes. "I remember that and I wasn't even there. Ha ha ha."
Bastards.
Make time. Go see it. Bring kleenex.
To be fair & balanced, I will note one tiny flaw - the background music was a little manipulative. It was dour & ominous when they were talking about Kerry, and upbeat when they were praising the troops.
However, unlike SOME "documentaries", there were no lies.
Posted by: Harvey at
06:30 PM
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More recently, some Kerry supporters were charged with giving out illegal drugs to get people boost turnout. I guess you could call that one "Crack the Vote".
Which made me wonder what other voter registration projects were secretly doing the Democrats' bidding. A little Googling turned up the following:
Sock the Vote - run by unemployed dot com spokespuppets angling for ambassadorships.
Geek the Vote - Run by "l33t h4x0rz 4 K3rrY"
Bark the Vote - Although you'd think that cute little canines would be non-partisan, they're vehemently opposed to Glenn Reynolds's right-wing puppy-blending.
Skank the Vote - a group of foul-mouthed, bitter old hags who want to see one of their own as first lady.
Crock the Vote - people who can't tell the difference between "Fahrenheit 9/11" and a documentary.
Book the Vote - librarians who've never held real jobs who are jealous of Laura Bush's success.
Kick the Vote - NFL punters and field goal kickers who admire Kerry's talent for failing to deliver in pressure situations. Can't say as I blame them for supporting the man. Kerry's campaign HAS strongly resembled a series of shanked extra points.
Junk the Vote - Sanitation Engineers are union. 'nuff said.
Coke the Vote - cocaine addicts disappointed that Bush never actually nosed flake.
Spank the Vote - Pimply-faced, overweight computer nerds who fear that Bush's Patriot Act threatens their favorite on-line pr0n sites.
F*** the Vote - I'm pretty sure these guys are for Kerry, but they might be supporting Dick Cheney, too.
Posted by: Harvey at
06:12 PM
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Many people work side by side with space aliens who look human, but you can spot these visitors by looking for certain tip-offs, say experts. They listed 10 signs to watch for:1. Odd or mismatched clothes. "Often space aliens don't fully understand the different styles, so they wear combinations that are in bad taste, such as checked pants with a striped shirt or a tuxedo jacket with blue jeans or sneakers," noted Brad Steiger, a renowned UFO investigator and author.
1) I wear a red paisley tie with my blue-striped shirts.
2. Strange diet or unusual eating habits. Space aliens might eat French fries with a spoon or gobble down large amounts of pills, the experts say.
2) I nibble jalapeno pretzels continuously at work. Most people try one, then start dancing around & screaming.
3. Bizarre sense of humour. Space aliens who don't understand earthly humour may laugh during a serious company training film or tell jokes that no one understands, said Steiger.
3) I don't even need to comment on this one.
4. Takes frequent sick days. A space alien might need extra time off to "rejuvenate its energy," said Dr. Thomas Easton, a theoretical biologist and futurist.
4) I've never had a sick day since I started at the bank 6 years ago. Obviously I'm directly absorbing the life-force from my co-workers
5. Keeps a written or tape recorded diary. "Aliens are constantly gathering information," said Steiger.
5) I wrote this post at work between customers
6. Misuses everyday items. "A space alien may use correction fluid to paint its nails," said Steiger.
6) I duct taped a watch to my computer so that, even if my screen-saver is engaged, I can still count down the hours until 5pm.
7. Constant questioning about customs of co-workers. Space aliens who are trying to learn about earth culture might ask questions that seem stupid, Easton said. "For example, a co-worker may ask why so many Americans picnic on the Fourth of July," noted Steiger.
7) I keep asking these people why they don't want a Wal-Mart in their town. They all drive to the one that's 10 miles down the road, but they don't want one nearby because then the local mom & pop stores (which charge - no shit - about 50% more than Wal-Mart) might go out of business [insert boo-hooing noise here]. I guess I just don't understand Earth culture.
8. Secretive about personal lifestyle and home. "An alien won't discuss domestic details or talk about what it does at night or on weekends," said Steiger.
"So, Harv, any big plans for the weekend"?... "No". By which I mean "None of your damn business."
9. Frequently talks to himself. "An alien may not be used to speaking as we do, so it may practice speaking," Steiger noted.
9) "Thanks! Have a nice day!" Followed by me practicing... "and please come back again the NEXT time you have a bag of wadded up singles that you dug up out of a manure pit. Jackass."
10. Displays a change of mood or physical reaction when near certain high-tech hardware. "An alien may experience a mood change when a microwave oven is turned on," said Steiger.
10) I do tend to get happier after my friend Mr. Microwave reheats my coffee.
Great. I'm from Omicron Ceti 3.
Posted by: Harvey at
05:49 PM
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What I would like from anyone who is interested, is some jokes with really bad punch lines. The punnier the better. You know, the same kind of jokes that Harvey hates so much. (Please keep them clean. My parents read this site occasionally.) They don't have to be original. I know that the best jokes get retold time and time again.Just post them on your own web site, leave me a link in the comments, or a trackback to this post, or e-mail me with the subject "Bad Jokes" to vze3jcj8 (at) verizon.net.
I'll put up a list of them on Sunday so everyone can enjoy them. It'll be sort of a Carnival of the Bad Jokes.
Odd request. I would've thought he'd ask for boobies.
You can tell he was adopted.
Anyway, I'm going to spare everyone else the misery & put his birthday crap in the extended entry. more...
Posted by: Harvey at
05:32 PM
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(click to enlarge)
On the left is mine. White gold with an X etched into it. In the X are 5 of the least impressive diamond chips I've ever seen. Which doesn't bother me, since I'm not all about the flash & glamor, anyway. The reason I got this one instead of a plain band is that, while wooing Beloved Wife (Beloved Girlfriend at the time), I wrote her a lot of mushy letters, and signed off with bunches of X's & O's (hugs & kisses). So the X seemed appropriate.
On the right we have Beloved Wife's decorations. On the top is the engagement ring we went shopping for together shortly after I popped the question. I figured SHE'S the one who has to stare at this thing for the rest of her life, so I wanted her to have the final say. White gold, single center stone with a smaller one on either side. Not a big rock, but she's not a big girl (only 5 foot nuthin' on a good day), and she's always preferred dainty jewelry. Kinda surprising, considering how aggressive and athletic she is, but that's what she likes, so who am I to argue?
Under that is her wedding band. White gold with three small diamonds separated by two carved hearts. We did our band shopping some time after the engagement ring shopping, and she was thoroughly delighted to find something cute, dainty, and understated to match the engagement ring.
As it happens, I also used to put lots of little hearts on those mushy letters, so again - very appropriate.
Posted by: Harvey at
05:17 PM
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I'm at a loss for how to proceed, and I'm quite open to suggestions.
Posted by: Harvey at
04:13 PM
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and I don't know where I am goin' to.
Silk suit, neck tie (neck tie),
I don't need a reason why.
They come runnin' just as fast as they can
coz every girl crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man.
-ZZ Top
Well, the girls ain't gonna be runnin' very fast to THIS blog, because the Carnival of the Pajamas is all about the sloppy, comfy (and occasionally sexy) articles of clothing that drape one's body while blogging. The Legacy Media thinks it's all about the pajamas. Some folks have other ideas:
Not Tiffany of Blown Fuse, though. She's wearing ACTUAL pajamas. At least on the bottom. You can find out for yourself what's going on topside. As for the extra sleeve?... well, I have heard that blogging causes spontaneous limb growth in laboratory animals.
Back when he used to be a woman, the Bartender of Madfish Willie's Cyber Saloon used to make his OWN blogging attire from ordinary household objects. Is it just me, or is Lincoln actually smiling in that picture?
RWS of Rightwingsparkle seems to be having some hosting issues with her picture, so I left a link to it buried in her comments. She might have it updated at some point. Speaking of points, mine is that, while I don't have her ability to pack a pair of jeans, I do have the same T-shirt. Except the bottom line of mine says "Reddi Wip".
VW Bug of One Happy Dog Speaks has the shot we've all been waiting for. Legs! Legs! Legs!... um... I mean... she models this comfy-looking shorts & top combo. I must admit that I was very surprised to discover that she's a Vorlon.
As for me (Harvey of Bad Example), well, I like blogging in my shorts & T-shirt, but sometimes it just gets a little warm in the ol' computer room, so Mr. Shirt needs to come off:
(click to enlarge)
By the way, that thing on my left arm is NOT some sort of freaky tattoo that I picked up while stone drunk in a Bangkok whorehouse. That's a left-over from Beloved Wife's enthusiastic follow-through on the racquetball court.
Either that, or it was punishment for not getting the dishes done in a timely manner. I kinda forget which.
Anyway, next time, I'd like the ladies to admit that they actually wear stuff like this when they blog:
(click to enlarge)
Same rules for next week's round-up:
Post a picture of yourself (or a professional model whose picture you copied off some web page - like I'd know the difference anyway) in your favorite blogging attire. Leave a permalink in the comments to this post, send a trackback, or e-mail the link directly to me at harvolson-at-charter.net.
If you have trouble hosting images, you can send me the picture, and I'll post it for you, along with your description.
If you don't have a blog, but you're feeling particularly creative, same as above.
Entries due by 12pm CDT, Saturday, October 30th, and I'll post the round-up Saturday afternoonish.
And if I missed your entry, give a holler in the comments or to harvolson-at-charter.net
Posted by: Harvey at
04:08 PM
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Well, if blogdaughter Machelle of Quality Weenie says it's true (complete with photographic evidence), I guess I have to believe her.
Posted by: Harvey at
07:08 AM
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October 22, 2004
I love you
Because the Earth turns
Round the sun
Because the North wind
Blows North sometimes
Because the Pope is Catholic
And most Rabbis Jewish
Because winters flow into springs
And the air clears after a storm
Because only my love for you
Despite the charms of gravity
Keeps me from falling off this Earth
Into another dimension
I love you
Because it is the natural order of things
(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)
Posted by: Harvey at
10:01 PM
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[Save Kevin]
Play "Spaced Penguin" today!
Posted by: Harvey at
09:55 PM
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Seriously - excellent production value on these - they're broadcast radio quality.
I especially liked the kitten sound-effect in the Halliburton commercial.
Posted by: Harvey at
09:49 PM
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Warmer with that last one.
But the answer is:
Posts at Bad Example in just under 6 months.
Posted by: Harvey at
09:41 PM
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OK. I 'll stay more quiet. Filthy Lie Round-up: Evil Glenn Trivia
New Filthy Lie Assignment: What will Evil Glenn be doing for Halloween?
Posted by: Harvey at
09:38 PM
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To many people, Glenn Reynolds IS the blogosphere, and unless he talks about a subject, it doesn't blip their radar. But despite his alleged popularity, very little is known about the man behind the pixels. As a public service, I will attempt to correct this blogospheric blind spot by revealing some
FUN FACTS ABOUT GLENN REYNOLDS
Although Glenn doesn't smoke cigarettes, he DOES occasionally indulge in a fine cigar, if it's been properly Lewinskied first.
In this age of corrective eye surgery, Glenn Reynolds continues to wear glasses. This is due partly to astigmatism and partly to protect the innocent from the deadly lasers that shoot out of his eyes.
There is no truth to the rumor that the X-Men character Cyclops was based on Glenn.
Just because Glenn is a lawyer, that doesn't mean he's a bad person. After all, John Edwards is a lawyer, and he... um... Nevermind.
Glenn Reynolds is a computer expert and has written several books on the topic, including "Try Turning It Off And On", "Where the F*** Is The 'Any' Key", and "Innocent Names For Your Penguin Porn Mpeg Files".
Glenn's says that his favorite kind of dog is "any sort of 'mixed' breed", but failed to elaborate.
Glenn has exquisite taste in home furnishings. All his lampshades are from the exclusive "Ed Gein Collection" of fine leather products.
As a law professor, Glenn Reynolds is quite popular with his students, teaching such classes as "GPS Ambulance Tracking", "Juror Tears - Liquid Gold", and "Shrink the Glove, Free the Client".
Glenn Reynolds played the part of The Inanimate Carbon Rod on The Simpsons.
Which has led to some speculation that Glenn might actually be the brains behind THIS web site, although the evidence is currently inconclusive.
He also starred as "Uruk-Hai #3247" in "The Two Towers". Look closely at the beginning of the "Battle of Helm's Deep" scene. He's the one wearing glasses.
He missed getting the part of Harry Potter's magic wand because he "wasn't wooden enough". That role was eventually awarded to Al Gore.
If Glenn Reynolds bites you, you become a blogger.
And completely devoid of fashion sense.
But you'll get a lot of traffic, so it might be worth it.
On the other hand, you'll also have to put up with an unruly horde of lesser bloggers telling filthy lies about you and shouting:
INSTAPUNDO DELENDA EST!
So you can make your own call on that one.
Posted by: Harvey at
07:02 PM
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If you have trouble hosting images, you can send me the picture, and I'll post it for you, along with your description.
If you don't have a blog, but you're feeling particularly creative, same as above.
Entries due by 12pm CDT, Satuday, October 16th, and I'll post the round-up Saturday afternoonish.
NOTE: You can still squeak your entries in after 12 as long as I haven't posted the carnival yet.
See the CotP category for previous round-ups.
Posted by: Harvey at
05:05 PM
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The French have an idiomatic phrase nostalgie pour la boue which means, roughly, "yearning for the mud." Nostalgie pour la boue is a compulsion that comes over people when they have, for complex reasons, a need to immerse themselves in self-degradation. This is a specialty of the French culture.
Nostalgie pour la boue is usually a mix of drink, drugs, and weird sex until the soul is obliterated by the abused flesh. You can see it at its most graphic in the party scenes in the French film, Killing Zoe. Most people try this sort of thing a time or two in their youth, but grow out of it when time, experience, or, in many cases, God gets the upper hand. Others grow out of it via deep psychoanalysis and a few trips to the rehab clinic. Many never kick it and were, in the past, thought of as "perverts" but are now more kindly seen as "differently minded" and left to go their own way in our "consenting " culture.
[...]
I'd like to suggest that there's another kind nostalgie going around in this hybrid culture; one that arises from nostalgie pour la boue, but is more damaging to the body politic: nostalgie pour la défaite.
Nostalgie pour la défaite is that dark state of the soul when an American, who either came of age in the Vietnam era, or who was taught and mentored by a leftist or liberal of that vintage, yearns for the defeat of America. American defeat is then seen as confirmation that his or her world view and social milieu is the right view and right milieu. It is simply "the way things must be."
I outgrew it when I was 17. I fell in love with a respectable girl and put my life in order so that I could be worthy of her. Never looked back.
I think one of the commenters said it best: "I have so often wondered: How can an entire lifetime be spent pining away for the lunacy of youth?"
Posted by: Harvey at
07:17 AM
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October 21, 2004
What does your cyber-living room look like or, if you prefer, your cyber-kitchen or even bedroom if you're the naughty type? Please find a picture (painting or photo) and link to it or post it on your blog or just post a description and, in the comments here, post a link to your post. Remember, this is not your real living room, it's your cyber-living room (or kitchen) - what your blog would look like if it was a room.
Well, by borrowing Shaker simplicity and adding modern comforts, my elegant sitting room would...
Aw, hell. Who am I kidding?
It'd look like this:
Posted by: Harvey at
09:33 PM
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