February 16, 2005
Chris of FlashBang has joined the Marines, so I'm giving him ammo to get him through boot camp:
First, something I just now made up:
Q: How many Marines does it take to change a light bulb?
A: OO-RAH!!
Next, something I stole from Rick of Me & My MAC:
A Marine walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance then casually looks at his watch for a moment.The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?"
"No," he replies, "I just got this state-of-the-art watch, and I was just testing it."
The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?"
The Marine explains, "It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically."
The lady says, "What's it telling you now?"
"Well, it says you're not wearing any panties...."
"The woman giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!"
The Marine smirks, taps his watch and says, "Damn thing's an hour fast."
And I close with another something I made up:
Q: How many terrorists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: After the Marines get through with them, the only thing they'll change is into corpses.
Give 'em hell, Chris.
Semper Fi.
Posted by: Harvey at
07:16 PM
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February 02, 2005
Sitting by his trough of feed
Fat man contemplates a screed.
A new film full of lies & hate
To prove to all that he's still great.
He straps a camera to his lard
And goes out into his back yard.
Assaulting squirrels with his lens
To find out what they knew, and when.
The rodent branch of the GOP
Is guilty too, as all will see.
Tree rats are in league with Bush!
Is the story Mike will push.
Squirrels started Nine One One
Knocking buildings down for fun.
Evil, furry terrorists
Threaten us with tiny fists.
Haliburton's squirrel division
Was behind this vile mission.
With secret vats of squirrel drugs
To control these fuzzy thugs.
Muslims really aren't to blame.
BUSH controls the terror game.
His rodent minions sack and pillage,
Bomb and napalm every village.
People dying everywhere!
Corpses piled up in town squares!
Plague and torture! Blight and death!
Nut-reek stinky squirrel breath!
Doom is coming! All will die!
Don't trust Bush! He'll only lie!
Michael Moore speaks truth to power!
Heed him now, this final hour!
Only Mike can set you free!
From squirrel/Bush conspiracy!
Exit safely terror's thicket -
Coming soon! (12 bucks per ticket)
Posted by: Harvey at
09:01 PM
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