(A Filthy Lie cross-posted from IMAO)

Discovery Channel has a show called "Mythbusters" wherein special-effects experts Adam Savage and Jamie Hyneman examine popular urban legends, constructing elaborate experiments to determine whether they have any basis in fact. For example, if you use a bullet in place of one of your truck's fuses, can it go off and shoot you?

Recently, Adam & Jamie undertook one of their most intriguing investigations to date: Does the cuteness of a puppy actually effect its potency as an energy drink, as claimed by Glenn Reynolds?

First, test puppy A:

Wow! That's one ugly puppy!

After thorough blending:

The beverage was fed to an anonymous test subject, known only as F.J.:

Hmmm... doesn't look too energetic...

Next, test puppy B:

Blend! Blend! Blend:

What does F.J. think about this one?

And there you have it folks, Glenn Reynolds was right: "the cuter the puppy, the better the energy drink"

Be sure to check out Mythbusters next week when they investigate whether worshipping Satan can make your crappy book rise to #1 at Amazon.

Posted by: Harvey at 05:16 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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(A Filthy Lie cross-posted from IMAO)

During a recent interview on CNN, Glenn took the Legacy Media to task for not showing the infamously offensive Muhammed cartoons, saying "I think when you cover things up, you let people's imaginations run wild, and the results are often worse than if you expose things. The press is there to tell us things, not to hide things from us."

Ironically, CNN proved Glenn's point by omitting the portion of the interview where Glenn held up this controversial political cartoon:

Also omitted was footage of journalists rioting outside the building after the interview, where an ugly puppet of Reynolds was burned in effigy.

I know I'm risking my life by posting these pictures, but if I don't, then the journalists win.

Posted by: Harvey at 03:14 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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(A Filthy Lie cross-posted from IMAO)

After this controversial picture of a young girl holding a stuffed puppy appeared on the CENTCOM web site, the leader of the Instapundslam religion, Imam Glenn al-Reynolds, issued a fatwa condeming the image:

"The central tenet of Instapundslam is that puppies should be blended to make potent energy drinks for the blogging faithful. It is blasphemy of the highest order to depict them in any form that is either adorable or unblended. This cuddly manifestation of our sacred power source is an affront to our beliefs. We demand an apology and the immediate pureeing of this unholy fluff-filled icon. Hmmm. Heh. Jihad. Indeed."

Imam Glenn al-Reynolds

The heart-warming image of the loveable tot and her cherished toy has provoked uncontrolled rioting and robot-dancing world-wide by outraged Instapundslamists.

Blogger Michelle Malkin denounced the fatwa as "the fevered rantings of a power-hungry, Satan-worshipping, hobo-murdering madman", and encouraged bloggers everywhere to protest al-Reynolds' pronouncement by posting pictures of themselves snuggling with stuffed animals and sending a trackback to her site.

"Honestly," said Malkin, taking a bite of a brownie made from minced kittens, "what kind of wacky religion would drink blended puppies?"

Posted by: Harvey at 02:03 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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(A Filthy Lie)

Sometimes I really regret signing up for Instapundit's mailing list. Every day it seems like my inbox is bogged down with notices about his latest illicit get-rich-quick scheme.

Like this one, for example:

Now that Google has cast aside its foolish "core belief" of "don't be evil", I've been able to partner with them to bring you:

ILLOOGLE!™

A clearinghouse for information on all the illegal, immoral, questionable, offensive, and/or downright shady products and services offered by Evil Glenn Industries, Inc.

With the power of Illoogle™, you'll have access to:

Pup-A-Mule - Tired of risking your loved ones' lives by having them swallow heroin balloons? With Pup-A-Mule, you can turn any puppy into your own personal 4-legged drug importation vector. Kit comes with surgical steel scalpel, Ziploc brand re-sealable HeroIn Bags, and Arrow brand tummy-stapler for post-insertion closure.

Legal Notice: Not responsible for personal injury due to unremoved tummy-staples in puppy shakes.

Sacra-Hobo - Need a human sacrifice to appease your Satanic master's need for fresh blood? You could shop your local Screen Actors Guild Union Hall (it's not like anyone would miss a Tim Robbins or two), but why not let us deliver a US Grade A Government Select hobo right to your door, instead? Bound, gagged, and pre-inebriated to reduce struggling, these pathetic creatures are accepted as payment on soul-for-power contracts by most major evil deities.

Legal Notice: Be sure to check your soul-for-power contract for specific terms and conditions. Not responsible for unspeakable afterlife torturings resulting from contract breaches.

Mo-ha-ha-ha-med - Live in a country that's caved in to terrorist demands to censor cartoons that make fun of Islamic prophets? Look no further than the Mo-ha-ha-ha-med web portal, where you can find all the funniest portrayals of the head-choppingest, child-bride-takingest, bomb-for-a-turbinest prophet that ever wrote a Koran. Don't let YOUR cowardly government control what you can and can't see. Use Mo-ha-ha-ha-med and take a firm stand for free speech!

Legal Notice: Not responsible for renegade JOOOOOOS! having fatwahs issued against them.

CommieTruth.com - Ok, I lied. Screw free speech. APPROVED speech is where it's at. CommieTruth.com is the only search engine guaranteed to provide the 100% capitalist-pig-opinion-free information that my Maoist masters feel that it's safe for you to know. After all, those guys are smart enough to oppress 1.3 billion people. You've probably never even oppressed a goldfish, so who the hell are YOU to say that rude little Tiananmen Square rumor is true? Huh? HUH?... that's what I thought... you just keep your yap shut, little man.

Legal Notice: YAY! Commies!

Sa-Tan-A-Rama Soul-For-Power Contracts
Hmmm, Heh, & Indeed - Shysters at Law
Frank J. Punchers Anonymous
Ann Althouse hOt aMaTeUr Webcam
Pez! Pez! Pez! (from the makers of Soylent Green)

Plus hundreds of other specialty sites, only available through:

ILLOOGLE!™

Posted by: Harvey at 04:55 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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