November 19, 2004
The following is a transcript of a conversation between myself and Glenn Reynolds.
Here's a llama, there's a llama
and another little llama,
fuzzy llama, funny llama,
llama, llama, duck.
What the...?
Looks like I must've taped over the first part. Just a sec
[fast forwards]
Ah. Here we go...
Harv: You built a hobo-themed amusement park in Berkeley?
Evil Glenn: Why not? They've got a thriving homeless population there, and I figured this would be a good way to keep them from getting all sterno'd up and wandering away before I could sacrifice them to Satan in exchange for the dark powers that keep me atop the ecosystem.
Harv: But what about the rest of the population? The gays? The college students?
Evil Glenn: Hobos, homos, hippies, hobie cats... whatever. Satan's not particular about spelling when it comes to unholy offerings. He's the Prince of Darkness, not an English teacher.
Harv: Funny. I thought my English teacher WAS Satan.
Evil Glenn: Your English teacher had horns and cloven hooves?
Harv: Well, she had horn-rim glasses. I couldn't tell about the hooves. She always wore heels.
Evil Glenn: Satan's not a woman.
Harv: [pause] This coming from a married man?...
Evil Glenn: ... Touché. Anyway, you'll LOVE Glennyland. It's got...
Where can you see lions? Only in Kenya.
Come to Kenya, we've got lions.
Where can you see tigers? Only in Kenya.
Got lions & tigers only in Kenya.
Forget Norway.
DAMMIT!
[fast forwards]
Harv: Ok, I'll admit the Bumcot Center sounds pretty cool - an entire city run by hobo-energy. It's hard to believe you found a way to extract power from layabout alcoholics. Sounds like something out of The Matrix.
Evil Glenn: Actually, it's based more on the Irish railroad-worker model of the 19th century, but it's almost the same thing.
Harv: I'll have to warn Matty O'Blackfive. Meanwhile, I really can't let you continue to destroy innocent lives like this. Prepare to be thwarted!
Evil Glenn: MUAHAHAHAHAHA! You are powerless against me! There's no way to prevent Glennylands from opening in every city of the nation!... Well, I suppose there is ONE exploitable flaw in my plan. If you...
BadgerBadgerBadgerBadgerBadgerBadgerBadgerBadgerBadgerBadgerBadgerBadger
MUSHROOM! MUSHROOM!
awwww CRAP!
[fast forwards]
Who loves the chocolate?
Everyone loves the chocolate.
Nobody hates the chocolate.
'Cos everyone loves the chocolate!
Son of a...
[fast forwards]
The treasure of Duck Pond Island will soon be mine!
Lousy piece o'...
[fast forwards]
Everyone loves magical Trevor
'Cuz the tricks that he does are ever so clever.
[fast forwards]
I've seen things, I've seen them with my eyes.
I've seen things, they're often in disguise.
Like carrots, handbags, cheese...
[fast forwards]
[tape breaks]
Ah screw it. Just watch this weird Korean cat/rabbit version of a Pepe LePew cartoon while I try to get Glenn back on the phone.
INSTAPUNDO DELENDA EST!
Posted by: Harvey at
08:34 PM
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