Hapkido of Crunch Time e-mailed me to let me know that he actually found my blogging tips useful. And since I'm a sucker for flattery, I checked out his site.

32, Iowa, politically conservative, practices Hapkido, Italian, not in the witness protection program (or so he says).

Nice guy. Go check him out.

Meanwhile, I'd like to address a particular concern of his: storing cigars.

I love me a good cigar, usually about twice a week (unless I'm at a blogmeet, in which case I chain-smoke 'em like George Burns). Mostly I buy them in bulk from either JR Cigars or Cigars International, depending on which brand I'm in the mood for.

But that leaves the question of what to do with the rest of the box once they arrive. If you don't do something to maintain humidity, they'll dry out within a week, so leaving them as is isn't a good option.

Here are some better ones:

Humidor - you can buy all manner of fancy wooden boxes with humidification devices and maybe even a hygrometer, and you can spend anywhere from $20 to over $2000. I guess they work ok. I've never used one.

Tupperdor - About 8 years ago, I spent $2 on a 9x12x6 plastic tub with a lid. I then took a two-piece travel soap dish, drilled holes in the sides, glued the top to the lid of the box, put a damp rag in the bottom, closed it, and threw my cigars in there. Keeps my cigars just as fresh as the $2000 wooden model.

Baggiedor - Sometimes my cigar shopping exceeds my storage capacity, so I have to expand. Here's what I do. Take two ziploc baggies (I like the gallon size) throw your cigars in one of them. Seal it up. Put the cigar baggie inside the other baggie and seal that up. Assuming you bought the cigars in good condition, the double air-tight seal will keep them in good shape for about a month. If it's going to be longer than that, take a paper towel, fold it up small, get it wet, then squeeze it as dry as you can so that it's just damp and doesn't drip. Put your damp paper towel inside the outer baggie. Check it every few weeks. If it's still damp at all, you're fine.

As for WHAT to smoke, well, that's a personal choice. Hapkido is looking for recommendations on mild cigars. I prefer medium- to full-bodied ones, so I'm useless for advising him. Anyone else got any tips?

Posted by: Harvey at 09:06 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
Post contains 431 words, total size 3 kb.

1 This is what I use for my Baggiedors (usually used for traveling): http://www.rockyscigars.com/catalog.asp?prodid=466482&showprevnext=1

Posted by: Phelps at October 10, 2006 11:11 AM (A0MHh)

2 Sometimes you're better off making a "tuppedor" than buying a cheap humidor that leaks like a sieve. On the other hand, I got one that looks like a $400 model for $30 at Sam's club and it works great (not knocking the do it yourself models, but this one has a lock and I have kids. Not worried about them smoking them, just ruining them). I charge the green sponge thingies with this stuff called Cigar Juice instead of water. It's a mix of water and (I think) glycol alcohol. When the humidity dips below a certain point, it releases humidity into the humidor, when it's too humid, it absorbs it. The needle hardly ever wavers from the 72% mark. It's great for people who are too forgetful and lazy to check their humidity levels often. Contagion got me one of those plastic "Pocket Traveldor" things a few years back with a couple el-cheapo's in it (National Brand). I charged it, stuck the stogies in, and lost it (we were in the process of moving). Found it in the basement like over two YEARS later and those stogies were not only smokable, they were improved from the cedar lining. Freakin' unreal. I needs to get me some stogies, dammit....

Posted by: Graumagus at October 10, 2006 11:25 AM (b1qlW)

3 Tupperdor & baggiedor...brilliant! I'll put the baggiedor to good use during my upcoming trip to Omaha. The witness pro...I mean HKD class goes out every year. Now that I'm officially a blog groupie (thanks, Harvey!), I guess I need to light one of these up to celebrate! I think a box of Montecristo #1 is the way to go.

Posted by: Hapkido at October 10, 2006 11:55 AM (+cC9w)

4 Here is another idea: Smoke them bad boys. I store mine down at the cigar store.

Posted by: Big White Hat at October 11, 2006 08:26 AM (G2NeU)

5 What... you mean you don't toss your baggied up cigars into the freezer for safekeeping... then thaw in the microwave which always seems to add moisture to anything placed in it for warming purposes. No I don't like cigars... why do you ask. *grin*

Posted by: Teresa at October 11, 2006 08:55 AM (o4pJS)

6 Ahhhrgghh!!! (Makes sign of cross at Teresa) Get thee back, infidel!!

Posted by: Graumagus at October 11, 2006 12:46 PM (b1qlW)

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Blogson Mike the Marine of From The Halls To The Shores asked me to check out this burgeoning controversy at Hot Air about possible Hezbollah counterfeiting.

I've had 7 years of doing nothing but fondling currency all damn day as a bank teller, and I ran the vault for 4 of those years. Somewhere around $1 million a month passed through my hands.

And not just idly. I inspected those bills closely.

Not looking for counterfeits so much as looking for errors. They're worth a bit to collectors, and I've found and sold my share.

And yes, I've spotted a few counterfeits, too. Some good, some poor.

Anyway, my analysis.

Re: Hot Air & Sticky Notes - The placement of the treasury seal is under such loose tolerances so as to be practically random. As long as as it's not either so far off as to touch other design elements, the BEP (Bureau of Engraving & Printing) will usually let it slide. One extreme example of sloppiness that I found in circulation:

(click to enlarge)

Minor shifts mean nothing.

Also, why all this fuss about squinting at signatures? Try looking at the serial numbers. The first letter tells you which series they are. If it starts with "A", it's the 96 series. It's a "B" it's a 99 series, etc.

More on that at the US Paper Money Info site.

Anyway, by squinting at those horrible pictures, I think I see a "B", and I also think I see Lawrence Summers' dark little scrawl at the bottom, making it a series 99. Which, as you can see at the link, didn't even start get printed until October of 2000, and the last of them rolled off the presses in March of 2002

Which sounds old, and it's making people suspicious because it looks like new currency. But it's NOT suspicious. New currency doesn't just pour out into the streets the day after it comes off the presses. Mostly it sits in vaults at the Federal Reserve banks until they run short of circulated currency, at which point it's shipped to local banks. Local banks don't like handing out new currency either, because it sticks together - increasing the likelihood of counting errors. So it likewise sits in vaults until circulated currency runs short.

Also consider that these bills are part of large cash payments. People who handle these sorts of transactions don't handle individual bills. They count them once, put them back in their paper currency straps, and wait until they need to pay someone else a big pile of cash. The new recipients do the same. Again, this cash mostly sits for months or years until it's needed, unlike the cash in your wallet. Its crispness is not suspicious at all.

Re: Commoner Sense - That man is getting handed at most $2000. Trust me, I know how thick a stack of 100 new $100 bills is.

Re: Little Green Footballs - Those are photocopies for tracking serial numbers. There's no green in the Treasury seal or the "100" in the lower right corner, and this is a color photograph.

Re: Snapped Shot - The lack of a security strip is inconclusive. Here's the photo:

(click to enlarge)

Here's a comparison bill:

(click to enlarge)

Even with a large, clear scan, the strip is hard to spot unless you know it comes straight down through the "I" in America. The first picture isn't necessarily clear or well-lit enough to spot the strip.

About this: "Thomas and Marcie write via e-mail that, not only should a portion of the security strip be visible towards the top of the bill in Photo #9, but that in Photo #15, the green color is brighter than a bill would normally be at that angle. Furthermore, on the backs of the bills, the semi-circle appears too green."

The color of the green ink varies tremendously during a print run, from very dark green to medium green, depending on when the printer's rollers were last inked. This variation means NOTHING.

Re: More Snapped Shot - "another commenter has indicated that bills, when placed in stacks, should show some separation at the edges, as the currency is printed on more of a cloth material, than on thread. This is still under investigation."

A pack of spanking new bills nestles together seamlessly. They HAVE, after all, been pressed tightly together by high speed machinery during the packing process. It can - and does - still hang tight even after some handling, which is why tellers hate new currency.

But without a video, I really can't tell.

So these bills MAY be fakes, but from what I've seen, ALL of the people saying so are using the wrong evidence to try to prove it.

If I'm missing any other evidence in need of debunking, let me know.

Posted by: Harvey at 02:33 PM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
Post contains 908 words, total size 7 kb.

Pam of Pamibe is concerned that her daughter might find some nekkid pictures that are floating around her house, and worries that seeing her old man in the raw might scar her for life.

Yeah, that IS something to think about.

My suggestion is that - if you have nekkid photos - scan them, keep them on your computer, and burn the originals.

But what if your kids paw through your hard drive?

Just go into your anti-virus software folder, and create a new folder labelled "Virus Data File Quarantine". Keep the pictures there.

For added protection, name the pictures something like "Virus93876exe.jpg", just in case the kiddies do a hard drive search for "*.jpg".

Posted by: Harvey at 09:48 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 123 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Good advice, thanks! I've already shredded one picture, but can't find the rest... If you were a nekkid picture, where would you be?

Posted by: pam at July 25, 2006 01:45 PM (l6NIn)

2 In the bedroom. That's where I'd be. Look inside the books or files in your bedroom.

Posted by: Michele at July 25, 2006 02:00 PM (BN/Fu)

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Bloggranddaughter Irish Pixie of Pixie Dust Productions is riding the pregnancy train. As a happily childless man, I should know better than to get involved in this discussion, but Pixie brought it on herself by mentioning:

Speaking of names. I like-

Boy- Aidan Connor
Girl- Dakota Rayne or Dakota Leigh

Your baby, your call, but I'd highly recommend avoiding names found at this site.

Here's where the 3-part alphabetical list can be found if you want to do a quick check of your choices.

Rules of thumb:

Boys - Use more consonants than vowels.
Girls - Don't name her after a state that's west of the Mississippi.

Check this site to find something slightly less hip & trendy.

Don't let your boy to be the 7th Aiden in his graduating class.

Posted by: Harvey at 08:11 AM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
Post contains 137 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Too true, Harvey. And good advice. But I'll tell you - it's easy to get caught up in the drama of trying to find just the perfect name for someone you've never met....

Posted by: Richmond at June 29, 2006 10:03 AM (e8QFP)

2 I hear ya... I've watched soap operas & reality shows... I know how it can happen :-)

Posted by: Harvey at June 29, 2006 10:07 AM (L7a63)

3 heh. When I read "Dakota Rayne" aloud to my husband, he thought she wanted to name the baby "Decoder Ring"

Posted by: caltechgirl at June 29, 2006 12:47 PM (Armyk)

4 Any relation to "Fargo North: Decoder"? :-) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Electric_Company#Regular_sketches

Posted by: Harvey at June 29, 2006 12:52 PM (L7a63)

5 hehehe.... My kids all have names starting with M....not that I planned it that way until the third one was born... ..now when I yell at one of them, I end up calling out the wrong name! I've started going to numbers....hey #1- Hey 2, You- #3 Or just by their nicknames...Boy, Little Man & Girlie. Why do we have to name them anyway? Parents call their kids by their nicknames usually anyway- so why can't we just let them grow up and pick out their own name?

Posted by: Rave at June 29, 2006 02:58 PM (Fir0Z)

6 "why can't we just let them grow up and pick out their own name?" They will, once I get them to start their own blogs ;-)

Posted by: Harvey at June 29, 2006 09:46 PM (L7a63)

7 A few names I've run across in my work with teenagers: Previous (always wondered if the next child was named Latter or something similar) Princess (siblings were all given normal names) A'Piffani (pronounced like epiphany) Ray-Vun (Ray - vahn) There are probably many more, but I think my subconcious has blocked the more evil children.

Posted by: LadyGunn at July 01, 2006 09:37 PM (3ieDU)

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Paul of Snooze Button Dreams offers serious & practical advice regarding good (and bad) things to do at a business meeting to keep it from being a waste of your time.

If my job involved meetings, I would keep a copy of this in my wallet.

Posted by: Harvey at 08:34 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Bloggranddaughter Rave of Quid Nunc has a son with a fresh driver's license, and she's seeking advice from other moms on how to quell her rising tide of inner panic.

Well, I don't have any advice for her, but I *do* have some advice for the boy.

Since this advice is coming from a guy, he might even take it:

1) Always assume that every other driver you see hasn't noticed you, and is just about to do something incredibly dumb - probably right in front of you - and leave yourself enough room to avoid it.

In any traffic situation, there are 3 ways out: swerve left, swerve right, and stop. Make sure you have at least one available.

Always.

No exceptions.

2) Always wear your seatbelt. There's a reason that a racecar driver can smash his car in a 150mph fiery rollover and walk away without a scratch. Notice that they don't rely on airbags.

Please also notice that the steering column is aimed directly at your chest. If you have a head-on collision while unbuckled (I know YOU'D never cross the center line, but see #1 above), it will crush your heart between your sternum and your spine, and you will die.

3) If one or more of your friends is in the car and refuses to put on their seatbelt, tell them you aren't going anywhere until they buckle up. Just say that they're perfectly welcome to die in a car crash if they want, but not while riding in YOUR car, because you don't want to have to pay the increased insurance rates.

4) The preceding advice assumes that you want to live. If you don't, then please don't drive.

Posted by: Harvey at 07:57 AM | Comments (11) | Add Comment
Post contains 289 words, total size 2 kb.

In the comments to this post on relationships, Richmond of One For The Road made this suggestion:

a date -- a real honest-to-God date once in a while would be nice

Yes, but HOW once in a while? Once a week? Every other Wednesday? Any day that ends in a 0 or 5?

Guys can happily follow instructions, if they're SPECIFIC instructions.

Of course, once orders are issued, then the lady feels like her man's only doing it because he HAS to, and it spoils the effect.

I suppose fellas should just ask themselves "have I gone out of my way to make my wife feel especially loved in the last 7 days?"

If the answer is "no", get hopping.

And keep track of it on a secret calendar so that the wife doesn't find out that you have a schedule - which would destroy the illusion of sponteneity and undo all your hard work.

Posted by: Harvey at 07:45 AM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
Post contains 169 words, total size 1 kb.

1 I had a post, but erased it.... Men follow directions. Women want surprises. It's the difference between an inney and an outtie.... ...and the only way they will meet is when they are pushing towards each other, hard, fast and Oh-never mind!

Posted by: Rave at June 19, 2006 08:23 AM (Fir0Z)

2 I'm more proactive. If I feel like I'm being neglected I'll do more than just say something (afterall, I'm 50% of the equation). I'll simply make tentative plans, like getting tickets to a sporting event in some city where there's also things we can do that interests me too. I'll ask beloved how he feels about the plans and/or maybe ask him if he'd like to do something else just as fun. If none of that works, then I'll fall back on something to peak their interest and hold their attention. Nagging never ever accomplishes anything. Besides, if I wanted a lap dog I could easily go to the pet store and buy one.

Posted by: at June 19, 2006 08:43 AM (FJ2Bh)

3 "Men follow directions. Women want surprises." Yeah... that about sums it up :-)

Posted by: Harvey at June 19, 2006 09:41 AM (L7a63)

4 good advice. /manual trackback

Posted by: wRitErsbLock at June 19, 2006 11:26 AM (MWyhW)

5 Pan just programs the "surprises" in his watch, pda and computer. Then when they pop up, he surprises me. Kind of an unscheduled schedule.

Posted by: Tink at June 19, 2006 12:13 PM (8ztv6)

6 It's funny- as a female, I would like spontaneity- but it's really not that important. As an individual- I don't like to rely on anyone for my happiness. Truth be told, that's all up to me anyway. I've said it before- I'll say it again; "Happiness is a state of mind, not a destination."

Posted by: Rave at June 19, 2006 12:15 PM (Fir0Z)

7 Good advice, Harvey. Very good. And you know, "once in a while" could be once a year - just so long as it's the husband (or S.O.) who comes up with the plan, secures a sitter or whatever, and handles the details. Instead of just saying "Well, whatever *you* want to do... Just let me know what time..." But once a week sounds beyond fabulous! TNT is a lucky woman.

Posted by: Richmond at June 19, 2006 02:22 PM (e8QFP)

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From Robert Heinlein's "Time Enough For Love":

"Moving parts in rubbing contact require lubrication to avoid excessive wear. Honorifics and formal politeness provide lubrication where people rub together. Often the very young, the untraveled, the naive, the unsophisticated deplore these formalities as "empty," "meaningless," or "dishonest," and scorn to use them. No matter how "pure" their motives, they thereby throw sand into the machinery that does not work too well at best."

Posted by: Harvey at 06:12 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Blogdaughter Michele of Letters From New York City asked me to spread the word:

Yamanner arrives in a Yahoo mailbox bearing the subject header "New Graphic Site." Once the message is opened, the computer becomes infected and the worm spreads itself to people on the Yahoo e-mail contact list. The harvested e-mail addresses are also sent to a remote online server, which Symantec suspects may use the information for spam campaigns.

FOR MORE INFORMATION PLEASE VISIT CNET NEWS!

"Before opening your email program/client/browser to check your email PLZ update your anti-virus software so that you can catch this worm. Please note, If you're a yahoo messenger or music subscriber it's also attempting to come in through the launch applications in those programs. Luckily I always update my anti-virus before opening up application. Although I've got the Yahoo email beta the worm tried coming in through my Yahoo Music Launch program.

If you're viewing this please make sure you update your anti-virus before surfing any longer, because if you get it, you'll definitely pass it ON to everyone in your address list.

So be a good friend/neighbor and clean yourself up before visiting."

Posted by: Harvey at 12:07 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 213 words, total size 1 kb.

Got this e-mail today:

Dear Harvey:

Greetings.

In the interest of exploring employment with your Web blog as a freelance copyeditor/proofreader, I am enclosing my corrections to four passages within your Web blog for your consideration.

As you can tell from my résumé within my Web site, I have 20 years’ experience as a proofreader and 5 years’ experience as a freelance copyeditor. I have a firm grasp of the American Medical Association, Associated Press, Bluebook, Chicago, Government Printing Office and Word Into Type style manuals and I know how to follow in-house style manuals.

I am diligent, incessant and implacable in my attention to detail. I am relentless in my fact-checking methodology, be it using reference materials or be it online using LEXIS/NEXIS, WESTLAW or the Internet, to ensure accuracy. I am undaunted by deadlines or last-minute addenda.

As a copyeditor/proofreader, it is my job to strengthen the fabric of society, held together by a common language, by not having mistakes or inaccuracies distract the readers' attention from the message that is being presented.

In closing, please accept my very best wishes for your Web blog's continued success and I hope to hear from you soon.

Sincerely,

Ivan Santana

--
"Bringing grammatical order to the Internet."(TM)

Attached were four Word documents, each bearing the name of one of four recent blog post titles.

The itch of curiosity was MADDENING - what passages could I have possibly screwed up in my Simpsons Trivia post?

However, I know that Word docs are notorious virus vectors, so this e-mail just got marked as spam & tossed.

Two suspicious items in this e-mail: "As you can tell from my résumé within my Web site" - and he doesn't include a link or a URL in the body of the e-mail.

Also "Web blog"? Even fanatical purists who refuse to use the word "blog" know that the formal term is "web log".

Anyway, I'm just concerned that this loser might target the Family (& friends), so I thought I'd mention it.

... positively MADDENING, I tell you!

Posted by: Harvey at 09:31 AM | Comments (14) | Add Comment
Post contains 351 words, total size 3 kb.

1 Dearest Dad, Kudos to you for identifying this scam/spam/pseudo-phisher idiot. In not opening this piece of junk mail you have successfully kept me from being infected too. Thank you for listening to your instincts and for protecting every one in your address book. I know I truly appreciate it as I don't have the time to scrub my pc's clean.

Posted by: Michele at June 11, 2006 10:02 AM (UnM+d)

2 Thanks Pops. Good to know you're watchin' out for us. I figured it was spam as soon as he said he found "errors". Not on your site. ;-)

Posted by: Tammi at June 11, 2006 10:19 AM (pWX3U)

3 Dear old Dad - always watching out for us! *grin* If you really want to know what kind of virus or other nasty a word doc might be carrying - you could create a special folder for the docs and save them there. Then head over to trend micro and do a free scan on the directory - it would be quick and you could then rejoice in knowing exactly what kind of annoyance was sent your way. Or - if you're like me - you just junk it and wish you could retaliate in some effective way.

Posted by: Teresa at June 11, 2006 11:05 AM (jgXyO)

4 Huh... who'd have guessed? You really aren't as stupid as you look or write.

Posted by: That 1 Guy at June 11, 2006 11:21 AM (iHxT3)

5 Crap!! I thought for sure you'd fall for one of the oldest tricks in the book - knowing how fuckin goofy you are - but I guess I misunderestimated your stupidity. Next itme I'll come up with something totally new and unique. PS There were indeed errors, grammatical and spelling, in all those web blog posts!

Posted by: MAdfish Willie at June 11, 2006 05:45 PM (8V/TM)

6 MAdfish Wilie, Next "itme"? Boy, what a good copyeditor you are. (It's supposed to be two words, "copy editor." Don't mess with the Blue Squizzle. He knows his grammar for rizzle.)

Posted by: the blue square at June 11, 2006 08:26 PM (VJ9r1)

7 Madfish Willie... I should have expected to find you holding Ivan's leash. I recognized your foul stench when I was read that e-mail! :-P

Posted by: Harvey at June 11, 2006 10:04 PM (L7a63)

8 I dunno if it was spam. I keep getting messages from Tighthole Tina and her slutty cheerleader Are you saying that my friend Tina is lying? Shame on you!

Posted by: physics geek at June 12, 2006 12:10 PM (Xvrs7)

9 Wanna forward those? I think they're for me... :-)

Posted by: Harvey at June 12, 2006 12:45 PM (L7a63)

10 Hey.. B²... blow me! Maybe you don't know who I really am!?!

Posted by: Madfish Willie at June 12, 2006 09:01 PM (Itrdk)

11 Herbey, to you Tighthole Tina is like Crosstie Carrie... with your little cricket dick, you'd have to tie a crosstie across your ass so you don't fall in!

Posted by: Madfish Willie at June 12, 2006 09:05 PM (Itrdk)

12 B2 - Madfish Willie is my filthy bastard blogson. His verbal abuse is just his way of saying "hi". It's not trolling, it's male bonding. Seriously. But you're more than welcome to fuck with him if you want, as long as it's understood that it's play, and not personal.

Posted by: Harvey at June 12, 2006 10:11 PM (L7a63)

13 Erm, okay. I like playing! Doom on you, Madfish Willie! And I like the "B2" thing, lol.

Posted by: the blue square at June 13, 2006 05:21 PM (VJ9r1)

14 Such foul language! I think you meant "d**m" :-D

Posted by: Harvey at June 13, 2006 06:02 PM (L7a63)

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Jim of Parkway Rest Stop had some issues with an old lady and her checkbook in the checkout line.

As always, the wisdom of the Simpsons prevails:

Apu: Mrs. Simpson, the express line is the fastest line not always. That old man up front, he is starved for attention. He will talk the cashier's head off.

Abe: Ah, there's an interesting story behind this nickel. In 1957, I remember it was, I got up in the morning and made myself a piece of toast. I set the toaster to three -- medium brown.

Apu: Let's go to... that line.

Marge: But that's the longest.

Apu: Yes, but look: all pathetic single men. Only cash, no chitchat.

On another note, I've found that - at least at my local Wal-Mart - the checkout lane closest to the exit is usually shortest.

Why?

Because the racks of impulse items obscure your vision so that you can't easily tell if anyone's in line in a given lane. So most people will get into a relatively short line near the side that's closest to the middle of the store, rather than walk past all the lanes to see if there's a shorter one, because if they're wrong, then they'll have to go back, by which time their semi-short line may be longer.

Anyway, that point aside, the most important thing to remember is to NOT get behind people with checkbooks, because none of them know how to fill out a check correctly, or with any due speed, and they probably left their ID at home.

The second most important thing: don't get in line behind people with purses, because they may contain checkbooks.

The third most important thing is - again - don't get in line behind people with purses, because they have loose change at the bottom, and EVERY woman will spend a couple minutes rooting around in her purse looking for the exact coins to pay her total to the penny. Because, you see, she doesn't want to "bother" the clerk by making her break a dollar, even though the clerk has an entire drawer FULL of change expressly for that purpose.

Meanwhile, guys just hand the clerk a $20 and stuff the cash in their pocket without counting it.

So get in the line with the most guys.

Unless they have purses.

UPDATE: If you're a woman to whom the above does NOT apply, please wear a sign that says "I know how to use a checkbook" so that I know that it's safe to stand behind you in the checkout lane.

Posted by: Harvey at 06:17 AM | Comments (12) | Add Comment
Post contains 441 words, total size 3 kb.

1 Um, Harv.... I use a checkbook. I am female. I carry a purse. BUT- I *always* have my check made out ahead of time, with the exception of the amount, of course. I *never* carry cash, or change (cuts back on the teenagers, "mom, do you have any.."etc.) My *purse* has a 'easy to get to' snap enclosure at the bottom/outside of it strictly for my checkbook/wallet. No fumbling. On the *rare* occasion I do not have the checkbook with me...I use my trusty friend, VISA- credit- no pin- quick to use. So...Nyah! :-P Foiled YOUR theory! (ducking and looking for the East River...)

Posted by: Rave at June 06, 2006 06:35 AM (Fir0Z)

2 Rave - Here's your sign :-)

Posted by: Harvey at June 06, 2006 06:43 AM (L7a63)

3 Ah, the awesomeness of the debit card! Take the money right out of my bank account please and nevermind that the ATM is the tool of the devil.

Posted by: shimauma at June 06, 2006 06:47 AM (oH+XM)

4 Thanks, pappy. I feel vindicated. When can I expect my sign to arrive?

Posted by: Rave at June 06, 2006 06:48 AM (Fir0Z)

5 me, I use the lawn and garden area. Almost always a free cashier there. Plus it's closest to sporting goods.

Posted by: og at June 06, 2006 08:09 AM (PVGJn)

6 It's relatively simple. Just find the line I am in, and get behind me. I am the one in the slowest lane. Always. Guaranteed.

Posted by: Miriam at June 06, 2006 08:53 AM (THveJ)

7 Og - Good point. A lot of stores have hidden checkouts like that.

Posted by: Harvey at June 06, 2006 09:18 AM (L7a63)

8 I always use a credit card, with the systems nowadays you can put your card in while stuff is being rung up and sign so when the cashier is done all they do is hand you your receipt. Faster than people with cash.

Posted by: Quality Weenie at June 06, 2006 10:32 AM (XG7jZ)

9 Credit card here too. No check books for me unless I'm paying bills. My purse has enough crap in it... crayons and stuff to keep kids entertained.

Posted by: Bou at June 06, 2006 11:18 AM (iHxT3)

10 I cheat. I use the self checkout lane Because no one else wants to deal with the damn things but I helped install them so there's not much the machine can do to me that I can't kick out of it till it works.

Posted by: BloodSpite at June 06, 2006 12:16 PM (ZTGJT)

11 What are these things you people are talking about? "Checkbooks? Cash?" I seem to remember hearing those words from my youth, but I cannot place them...

Posted by: Ogre at June 07, 2006 08:41 AM (/k+l4)

12 A solution I've resorted to myself on occasion :-)

Posted by: Harvey at June 08, 2006 06:57 AM (L7a63)

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YOUR EMERGENCY KIT

If you have to evacuate your house & not come back for a couple days, what should you take with you?

Kim Du Toit has an excellent pictoral essay (found via Physics Geek) which covers the basics.

I'm just going to list the text for the sake of having a handy printable checklist for quick reference. Packed in a large Hefty tub, he has:

Posted by: Harvey at 06:49 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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1 Wow. Now that's a hell of an idea... Thanks for pointing it out.

Posted by: Richmond at June 01, 2006 11:18 AM (e8QFP)

2 Is that the provision list for the next blog meet?

Posted by: Sticks at June 01, 2006 07:16 PM (RRPnj)

3 I don't see my iPod anywhere on that list.

Posted by: Sissy at June 01, 2006 07:29 PM (4Woqm)

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Bloggranddaughter Rave of Quid Nunc is wondering how to start her exercise program so she can finish attaining her weight goal.

My suggestion - a two-minute workout.

Seriously.

Why?

Because:

1) It's not much, but it's still better than the nothing you're doing now.

2) "It's only 2 minutes" is a fairly convincing argument if you find yourself "not in the mood".

3) The hardest part of any exercise program is getting the habit. Once you have the habit, then it's easier to convince yourself to do more.

Doesn't matter what you do for those two minutes. Even walking in place. Just something vaguely exercise-related. You can fine-tune it later. The important thing is that your self-concept changes to "I'm a person who exercises".

Make that switch, and you win.

Posted by: Harvey at 09:00 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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1 Great idea. However i'll start with a 10 second ex-ercise program and work my way up from there if it works out for me.

Posted by: Algo2 at May 31, 2006 11:00 AM (dhs4n)

2 ...I'm working out right now, clenching my butt cheeks together. What? Seriously, I used to work out while watching t.v. at night; it was perfect. Of course, I was younger then.

Posted by: pam at May 31, 2006 11:04 AM (l6NIn)

3 mmmm... Pam's butt cheeks... :-)

Posted by: Harvey at May 31, 2006 11:17 AM (L7a63)

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Serious advice, collected by Blogson Andrew of Custos Honor.

By the way, I know I can't stop you from watching the video he linked, but I nevertheless feel obligated to mention that it will be... unpleasant.

And if you're wondering who to have sex with in the first place, check his Relationship Quiz.

Posted by: Harvey at 10:53 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Blogson GA Mongrel has declared his yellow-jacket death-trap a success:

I poked a mostly peeled apple four times with equal lengths of a bamboo skewer, effectively creating an apple quadruped. I then filled up a metal pie-plate with soapy water - watch the bubbles! - and stood the apple in the middle of the pie-plate [about 1/2 inch above the water].

Let's face it - yellow-jackets are evil and deserve to die screaming as they choke on soapy water.

Current body count: 20

Let's hope it climbs high & fast.

Posted by: Harvey at 07:43 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Simple.

If Chase sends you a credit card application, just tear it up and throw it away.

Because if someone tapes it back together and puts a new address on the form, Chase will let them activate it with a cell phone.

Or you can buy yourself a sub-$20 shredder, and mix the remains in with your wet kitchen garbage.

Your call.

[Hat tip: Musings from Brian J. Noggle]

Posted by: Harvey at 03:31 PM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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1 The wet garbage is really the key. The nastier the better. I recommend baby poo and/or mold.

Posted by: caltechgirl at March 15, 2006 04:22 PM (jOkK0)

2 Comment pop-up at mu.nu is randomly messing up... Go here: http://www.consumerist.com In the search box type: "debit card" Read about all of the reports of ripped of ATM / Debit card information going on lately. It's huge. Never use your ATM card as a debit care (e.g. where you have to put in your PIN.) Very bad.

Posted by: _Jon at March 15, 2006 04:24 PM (/R7YK)

3 Oh my! This worries me and I am already a paranoid shredder. Going to make hubby read this though....

Posted by: Richmond at March 15, 2006 04:26 PM (e8QFP)

4 *snort* Ya know, if people actually used garbage bags in their garbage cans, that would solve a lot of this, right there. I see about 100 or so credit card applications blowing down the street behind my truck every day. All because people just throw the app on top of their garbage can.

Posted by: the Humble Devildog at March 15, 2006 10:15 PM (TIYju)

5 Might I add a suggestion to the shredder -- be sure it's a cross-cut shredder. It's actually not that hard to re-assemble a line shredded document...but near impossible to do that with a crosscut.

Posted by: Ogre at March 16, 2006 06:01 AM (/k+l4)

6 An empty 5Gal metal pail and a cynder/patio block from K-Mart a metal screen on top(NOT window screen)place the pail on the block...home made burn barrel, or just toss that crap into your wood burning stove to help cut yor heating bill.

Posted by: blogless brother at March 16, 2006 06:30 AM (LqXT9)

7 Tear it up, run some water on the pieces, wad them up in several different clumps, dispose of clumps in 2 or more different trash cans.

Posted by: Harvey at March 16, 2006 06:48 AM (ubhj8)

8 Those guys also send prestamped envelopes with those applications. It's fun to send five or six pieces back (not the whole app, just the section with directions on it) anyway when they put it back together they'll see the nasty suggestion you've written on it. Just a fun idea...and at their expense because THEY paid for the stamp. HAR HAR!!

Posted by: shimauma at March 16, 2006 11:57 AM (oH+XM)

9 You dang city folk. ;D Just burn the damn thing

Posted by: BloodSpite at March 16, 2006 11:03 PM (ZTGJT)

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Bloggranddaughter Carmen of I'll Do What I Wanna Do... Gosh! said this while answering her meme:

Well, I haven't really seen any black and whites - the few I have seen are all those corny old monster movies; which I don't enjoy.

Making me wonder... what ARE the "good" black & white movies?

Of the ones I've seen, a few stick out in my memory:

The General - Not only black & white, but silent, too. Buster Keaton does his own stunts - some of which are VERY impressive - and the story moves right along. If all silent movies were this good, talkies never would've taken off.

It Happened One Night - Yeah, it's terribly dated, but I like it for the snappy dialogue. They don't let actors talk that fast any more.

The Fountainhead - YAY! Capitalist propaganda! Favorite line? Probably:

Ellsworth Toohey: We're alone. Why don't you tell me what you think of me.
Howard Roark: But I don't think of you.

Cyrano de Bergerac (1950, w/Jose Ferrar) - Like an early version of The Princess Bride without the abject silliness. Sparkling dialogue, humor, romance, and swordplay.

Casablanca - Not because it's particularly good - it's cheesy, contrived, and drags a bit in places - but because it's one of those pop-culture references that's frequently alluded to. Just watch it once so that you REALLY get it when someone says "I'm shocked, shocked to find that gambling is going on in here!"

I've also heard that the Hope/Crosby "Road" movies are good, but I can't seem to find them at the local video store.

Anyway, add your favorites in the comments, or just post them at your own place & send a trackback. Links to the relevant IMDB page would be helpful, too.

Posted by: Harvey at 08:55 AM | Comments (26) | Add Comment
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1 How about the following: "On The Waterfront" with Marlon Brando. He coulda been a contender, you know... "The Public Enemy" with James Cagney. There are a whole host of this ilk of movie with some great lines ("Top of the world, ma!" Rumble Fish with Mickey Rourke. Not strictly speaking in the same era but still a superbly shot Francis Ford Coppella movie in black and white (with a litle colour to illustrate sentient points - watch it and see). "The Maltese Falcon" with Humphrey Bogart. John Huston's first film I believe. Watch it and tell me he hadn't done it before! Great story, fantastic acting. "Young Frankenstein with Gene Wilder. Mel Brookes collaborated on the screenplay with Gene Wilder and it is a wildly funny inventive spoof showing people at the top of their game. These are movies that are plot rather than effects driven. And some that stand the test of time are over 60 years old. Wonder how many modern films will stand up that long?

Posted by: Alex at March 01, 2006 09:23 AM (p5HG8)

2 Hmmmm....I may have to check some of these out (just to broaden my horizons - you know)

Posted by: Carmen at March 01, 2006 09:26 AM (YgY2c)

3 The Philadelphia Story - Katherine Hepburn, Jimmy Stewart and Cary Grant! The Ghost and Mrs. Muir Citizen Kane All About Eve Brigadoon (altered with a little bit of color) Some Like It Hot Dr. Strangelove Seven Samurai Psycho

Posted by: oddybobo at March 01, 2006 09:31 AM (6Gm0j)

4 Bringing Up Baby (I think it was originally b & W)-one of my favorites! Father Goose As for the ROAD movies of Hope & Crosby- I have those....wanna borrow them?

Posted by: Rave at March 01, 2006 09:43 AM (Fir0Z)

5 All great B&W's... with Fountainhead probably my fave of the bunch.

Posted by: Jeff (PC) at March 01, 2006 12:37 PM (lN7zP)

6 Eraserhead!

Posted by: Madfish Willie at March 01, 2006 01:38 PM (D2pBz)

7 Mr. Smith goes to Washington. An absolute must.

Posted by: Ogre at March 01, 2006 01:39 PM (/k+l4)

8 Check out Steve Martin's "Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid" I don't remember if it's all in black and white, but it is cut in with scenes from old black and white movies. Plus it has the extremely hot Rachel Ward... (After checking, it is black and white.)

Posted by: Madfish Willie at March 01, 2006 01:42 PM (D2pBz)

9 Shoot wrote an entire entry and then hit Cancel instead of Post!!! ARG! So here we go again. --The Thin Man - William Powel and Myrna Loy are outstanding together... and all the rest of the series, but the first is outstanding. --Bringing Up Baby - one of my all time favs you can never go wrong with Cary Grant. --Top Hat - cause I love Fred and Ginger in this one - silly plot - but so much fun. --The Big Sleep - Bogey is always a must. --Sabrina - the original with Bogey and Hepburn --The Manchurian Candidate - I have never seen anyone as evil as Angela Lansbury in this movie! It's a real thriller to the very end. --Bachelor Mother - excellent fun with Ginger Rogers but only on VHS --The Night Has Eyes - I love James Mason in this - sadly it's not even out on VHS in the States - maybe one day. How about some more Cary Grant... --Gunga Din --Topper --Holiday --His Girl Friday --Arsenic and Old Lace --Notorious --To Catch A Thief (just go to the imdb.com and type in Cary Grant and start looking through the list!) Last one... Young Frankenstein! Don't miss it - it's hysterical.

Posted by: Teresa at March 01, 2006 02:56 PM (FZwDL)

10 The original "Twelve Angry Men." Can't be beat!

Posted by: Jake Jacobsen at March 01, 2006 03:11 PM (8rEm3)

11 Acting!

Posted by: Jon Lovitz at March 01, 2006 03:15 PM (D2pBz)

12 These are movies that are plot rather than effects driven. And some that stand the test of time are over 60 years old. Wonder how many modern films will stand up that long? That would be a good post for discussion... So many of today's moview are just plain old crap with a bunch of special effect explosions and cgi.. no fucking acting or plot development. Or they are lame remakes or take-offs on old TV series. No fucking originality any more. I would assume today's movies with originality and actual character acting and plot development will be the one's that stand the test of time. Leave out all that Anti-American crapola that Hollywood seems to like push on us too!

Posted by: Madfish Willie at March 01, 2006 03:21 PM (D2pBz)

13 Anything by Akira Kurosawa, especially Seven Samurai and Kagemusha. His movies were more vibrant and colorful in black and white than most movies in TechnoColor are.

Posted by: the Humble Devildog at March 01, 2006 03:55 PM (TIYju)

14 The Third Man. Greatest film noir ever.

Posted by: Phelps at March 01, 2006 05:20 PM (aVaRz)

15 "It's a Wonderful Life" with Jimmy Stewart is a classic for me, one we always watch around Christmas time. I think Audrey Hepburn was great in "Roman Holiday". My favourite line is when she walks into Gregory Peck's apartment and asks "Is this the elevator?" "Charade" - another good one from Audrey Hepburn and Cary Grant And finally another Cary Grant film, "An affair to remember"

Posted by: Amanda at March 01, 2006 06:12 PM (L4Sch)

16 Oh yeah - The Third Man - I had forgotten about that one! Along those same lines is The Stranger (Orson Wells). And Shadow of A Doubt (Alfred Hitchcock) . All wonderful thrillers. Amanda - Charade (fabulous movie - I own it) is in color. *grin*

Posted by: Teresa at March 01, 2006 07:22 PM (FZwDL)

17 I miss Vincent Price this guy could have you scaried one minute and then laughing the next. The Last Man on Earth. The Pit and the Pendulum. House of Wax Not b/w but stil good The Raven. And Larry,CURLY,Moe Stooge shorts.

Posted by: blogless brother at March 01, 2006 10:02 PM (f+NdU)

18 Dang it, now I'm embarrassed. I thought when I wrote it that Charade was in colour, then I thought nah, b&w. Shoulda gone with my first instinct! Still a fantastic movie though

Posted by: Amanda at March 02, 2006 03:01 AM (L4Sch)

19 Father Goose, while a great Cary Grant movie, is in color.... (Dare I admit I first saw it in a theater when it came out? Before I was born, yeah, that's the ticket...) I can't believe no one has said Citizen Kane. Of course, I'm drifting in and out here, and may have been unconscious when reading some of the prior comments...

Posted by: Susie at March 02, 2006 08:20 AM (a0oF7)

20 I must say, there are a few of these I rather disagree with, but that's not the point of this, so here are my recomendations, old and new: (also, some of my favorites have already been listed, so I won't mention them again) Creature from the Black Lagoon D.O.A. The Lady From Shanghai Clerks Harvey King Kong (though heavy on the special effects, it used them as a vehicle rather than a crutch, for the most part) The Man Who Wasn't There The Elephant Man My Man Godfrey Pi Spellbound Metropolis M Ed Wood Carnival of Souls Steamboat Bill Jr. A Streetcar Named Desire All Quiet on the Western Front Stagecoach The Last Picture Show Manhatten The Incredible Shrinking Man And, just cos I'm an iGeneration pop culture junkie, does Sin City count?

Posted by: Joey at March 02, 2006 10:24 AM (JXgKx)

21 Sin City counts, but it's not really wife-friendly :-)

Posted by: Harvey at March 02, 2006 10:28 AM (ubhj8)

22 I really like Joey's list, so I only have a few to add. Werewolf of London (Not An American Werewolf in London, as most people seem to think when I mention this) Schindler's List To Kill a Mockingbird Raging Bull High Noon The Seventh Seal Sullivan's Travels That's all I got for you right now.

Posted by: Chuck at March 02, 2006 12:56 PM (JXgKx)

23 oh and one thing regarding Hope and Crosby, I'm suprised you can't find Road to Morocco at the video store, that one's pretty common. But here's what I'm thinking: you can find Road to Bali at just about any Best Buy or that type of place on the cheap DVD shelf for not much more (if more at all) than it would cost to rent it.

Posted by: Jose at March 03, 2006 12:45 AM (JXgKx)

24 Actually, our local public library seems to have most of the Road movies. I'm hoping they'll have some of the others on this list, too.

Posted by: Harvey at March 03, 2006 09:04 AM (ubhj8)

25 A Hard Day's Night. Although some of the jokes are very British, it's still fun ... and very clean.

Posted by: basil at March 04, 2006 07:41 AM (HwRye)

26 http://quidnuncrave.blogspot.com/2006/03/road-series-rated.html

Posted by: Harvey at March 07, 2006 06:00 PM (ubhj8)

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Blogson Johnny-Oh of Closet Extremist laments:

I really need to invest in a good digital camera

Or maybe just get a half-good digital camera for $55 bucks?

Seriously, decent digitals are getting so cheap they're practically disposable. As long as it's over 1 Megapixel and has an LCD preview display, it's fine for casual photography.

Personally, I use a 1.3 Megapixel Canon A10 for all the photos I post on the web. They're all sharp & clear, even when I maximize them on my 21-inch monitor. If you're just looking to share photos, you don't need to spend much.

Of course, most stores don't carry much below a $100 digital camera with 2 more Megapixels than you really need, but that's what they make eBay for. Just look for a reputable brand name and a seller with decent feedback. You'll be taking pictures in no time.

Anyway, if anyone knows anywhere else to pick up a 1.3 Mpx camera for under $50, please pipe up. I'm kinda surprised at how hard it is to find "low end" models, even on clearance.

NOTE: Arguably, a 4 Mpx camera will give you the same quality as off-the-shelf 35mm film for 4x6 prints, so anything over that is just gravy. From my personal observations, a 1.3 Mpx camera makes prints every bit as good as anything I've shot with a point-and-shoot 35mm camera. But if you want "looking out the window" clarity, you're certainly free to take out a second mortgage to buy a 16 Mpx Digital SLR.

Posted by: Harvey at 09:34 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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If you find yourself stuck in Madison, WI - which has banned smoking in all bars & restaurants - and you're looking for smoker-friendly establishments (either outside the city limits, or with "smoking patios"), MadSmokers.com is a resource you'll want to bookmark.

[Hat tip: Boots & Sabers]

Posted by: Harvey at 10:49 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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In the comments to this post on relationships, Richmond of One For The Road made this suggestion:

a date -- a real honest-to-God date once in a while would be nice

Yes, but HOW once in a while? Once a week? Every other Wednesday? Any day that ends in a 0 or 5?

Guys can happily follow instructions, if they're SPECIFIC instructions.

Of course, once orders are issued, then the lady feels like her man's only doing it because he HAS to, and it spoils the effect.

I suppose fellas should just ask themselves "have I gone out of my way to make my wife feel loved in the last 7 days?"

If the answer is "no", get hopping.

And keep track of it on a secret calendar so that the wife doesn't find out that you have a schedule - which would destroy the illusion of sponteneity and undo all your hard work.

Posted by: Harvey at 07:15 AM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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1 I'm just happy when I get noticed (which is often) I don't need a date, necessarily to feel loved.

Posted by: oddybobo at February 08, 2006 08:11 AM (6Gm0j)

2 Women are picky. No matter what a guy does it seems to be wrong! I think the date issue takes a new twist once you involve kids. It makes it harder to go out together as you have to get a sitter on top of everything else.

Posted by: Contagion at February 08, 2006 10:57 AM (Q5WxB)

3 Contagion - that's why you make friends with another married couple with kids, so you can take turns unloading spawn on each other :-)

Posted by: Harvey at February 08, 2006 11:14 AM (ubhj8)

4 Going on dates when you are married is a brilliant idea, so romantic. Hmmm... trying to think of a way to get my husband to see this post without me sending it to him, so he can think a date is all his idea ...

Posted by: Amanda at February 08, 2006 05:49 PM (L4Sch)

5 Harvey, that only works in principle. You need to find a married couple that has a similar social schedule and number of kids that you do. If you don't you can end up being taken advantage of. Trust me.

Posted by: Contagion at February 09, 2006 07:25 AM (e8b4J)

6 Good advice, Harvey.

Posted by: Richmond at February 09, 2006 12:28 PM (e8QFP)

7 Hiring the babysitter is part of the "cost" of the date. Kinda like leaving a tip for good service. and if the sitter is hot, you can give her a 'tip' later too...

Posted by: _Jon at February 09, 2006 01:02 PM (g9Y9+)

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