How many times have you taken your kids to a "kids" movie - maybe something from Disney that you figured HAD to be safe - only to discover that it was peppered with inappropriate violence, sexual innuendo, and toilet humor?

Well, via bloggranddaughter VW Bug of One Happy Dog Speaks (via Dad of Raising4boys.com), I've discovered Kids-In-Mind: Movie Ratings That Actually Work.

They break a movie down completely and specifically mention every single scene that you might have to explain to or discuss with your kids.

This does not mean that they're passing judgment or saying these movies are bad, they're just saying that forewarned is forearmed. If you read these reviews, you WILL know exactly what you're getting into if you take your kids to see a particular movie.

They also list possible topics for discussion, and the movie's overall message.

And they are THOROUGH. Here's a review for the G-rated movie, Charlotte's Web:

Dakota Fanning stars as a young girl that saves a little pig from being killed and cares for it, and they become friends. The pig also befriends a spider named Charlotte that none of the other barn animals can tolerate, and their friendship causes a chain of events that eventually has an effect on the lives of everyone. Also with Julia Roberts, Oprah Winfrey, Dominic Scott Kay and John Cleese. Directed by Gary Winick. [1:37]

SEX/NUDITY 1 - A boy and a girl look at each other and smile in a few scenes, and then run off holding hands in another scene.

VIOLENCE/GORE 2 - A man picks up a piglet, and then a heavy axe, and walks out of a stall where is confronted by his daughter who protests the fact that he is going to kill the piglet (the man relents).
* A girl punches a boy in the arm. A girl tackles her younger brother who was trying to kill a spider (the boy had trapped the spider in a jar).
* A rat is chased by two crows who squawk and dive toward it: one pokes it with its beak, and the other rolls it in an empty can, but the crows crash into a refrigerator and fall in a pan of wet paint.
* A pig slams its head into a fence plank three times, until the plank falls off and the pig runs out of the yard. A rat with a yo-yo string around its neck is pulled back and onto its back when a sheep steps on the string. A goose slaps another goose on the head with its wing.
* Spiders break out of their egg sack, shoot a strand of webbing into the air and sail away in the wind. A rat pulls a spider egg sack and drops it off a ledge to the hay-covered floor where it is picked up in a pig's mouth.
* A horse faints and lands hard on the ground, and a pig faints and lands hard on the ground.
* A goose egg rolls down a rat tunnel, lands on the rat and breaks open covering the rat with goo that apparently smells really bad (the animals in the bar react to the smell). A rat falls into a tattered stove in a garbage dump.
* Two crows are frightened by a scarecrow in a field. A man drops a cleaver that nearly strikes a rat on the ground.
* A piglet squeals and thrashes while in a school desk and the girl who put it there gets in trouble. Animals call a spider many insulting names (creepy, disgusting, hideous). A pig is told that he will be killed and smoked for Christmas dinner.
* A man pours slop (gooey brown mush) into a trough in several scenes, for a pig to eat, which it does and its face and front hooves are covered with the goo; a rat also wallows in it and eats the slop.
* A cow flatulates in a couple of scenes, at one time blowing in the direction of a rat that is consequently thrown off a fence. A rat burps loudly, and a cow drools.

PROFANITY 1 - 2 mild exclamations (bloody, ruddy), name-calling (stupid, hairball, creepy, disgusting, hideous).

SUBSTANCE USE - None.

DISCUSSION TOPICS - Pork, friendship, death of a loved one, kindness, patience, livestock farming, caring for others, beauty, extraordinary occurrences, thinking for yourself, being humble, the life of spiders, nocturnal creatures, childhood phases, miracles.

MESSAGE - Friendship can have an extraordinary impact on people. We are better listeners when we are children.

The only downside is that - because of their thoroughness - the site is chock full of spoilers. So you'll have to make your own decision as to whether ruining your sense of surprise is worth being prepared for your kids' inquiries.

If you have impressionable children, bookmark this site now.

Posted by: Harvey at 10:29 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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1 Wonder what their review of "SIn City" was like...

Posted by: Graumagus at February 27, 2007 11:47 AM (DrRYD)

2 http://www.kids-in-mind.com/s/sincity.htm Pretty thourough. Never watched it but it seemingly lives up to its name. My wife will appreciate this link because she sometimes takes her class to a movie as a reward and needs to know what to expect in advance.

Posted by: Nick at February 27, 2007 12:02 PM (sBEqJ)

3 is An Inconvenient Truth reviewed? How about Fahrenheit 9/11?

Posted by: wRitErsbLock at February 27, 2007 01:31 PM (+MvHD)

4 Thanks a bunch for this link!

Posted by: michele at February 27, 2007 01:44 PM (Lrt1F)

5 "DISCUSSION TOPICS: Pork" How come that didn't come up under "Profanity"?

Posted by: Roses at February 27, 2007 08:59 PM (+WckC)

6 Thanks for helping get the word out. For those of with kids I think it is great. Thanks again!!!

Posted by: vw bug at February 28, 2007 12:30 PM (PeJFE)

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Blogson Andrew of Custos Honor is considering getting a kitten, and is looking for advice on the selection process.

Well, there are plenty of sites that give advice on doing some quick physical checks, but I'm going to discuss personality.

I'm going to assume here that you want a cat for purposes of phyical interaction, and not one that'll just be a skittish blur that zips away from you at light speed whenever it sees you coming.

My personal preference is to get a cat from a shelter, since - after going through a few days/weeks of living in a smelly wire cage - they tend to really appreciate being given a real home. That, and it's usually cheaper.

The discussion below assumes a shelter setting, so adjust it accordingly if you go to a breeder, pet store, or private owner.

I'm also going to use the word "cat", since feline quality is not necessarily related to age. Sometimes good animals get put up for adoption through no fault of their own. Don't discount the possibility of finding a perfectly suited older animal.

1) Pick a cat that shows an interest in you - Stand in front of the cage and put your finger on the bars. Does the cat come up to you, sniff, rub, and continue to do so? This is a sign of a "people cat" - one that finds humans more interesting than their food bowl. That's a GOOD thing.

2) Dangle a bit of string - Does the cat pounce & play? If so, you'll never be bored again. Another good sign. Cats that ignore string are a drag and not worth having.

3) Pick the cat up and hold it supportively in your arms - It will either squirm and try to get away (some cats don't like being held), or it will be content to enjoy the view. If it snuggles in, lays in your arms like a lump, and starts purring, you probably have a keeper.

4) OPTIONAL - Hold the cat up near other cat cages. Some cats will hiss & spit, others will be indifferent to the presence of other cats. Having an asocial feline isn't a deal breaker, but it will make things a little rougher should you get an additional cat in the future. NOTE: This test is mandatory if you're planning to bring this critter home to a house that already has another cat in it.

That pretty much covers it from my end. Please feel free to leave further advice in the comments.

Posted by: Harvey at 10:27 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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