July 30, 2004
TODAY'S LOVE NOTE
(
Introduction)
I can be with you always, whether you're near or far,
For I have roads inside me that take me where you are.
(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)
Posted by: Harvey at
10:46 PM
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1
Speaking of "inside me", could you please NOT do that finger-thing you read about in Cosmo?
Posted by: Harvey at July 30, 2004 10:47 PM (ubhj8)
2
Huh. Grau mentions something like that in his Retrosexual Code and speaks of the direct result being launching her off the bed.
Posted by: Boudicca at July 31, 2004 09:14 AM (b/g6r)
3
"All roads lead to moan."
Something like that.
Posted by: _Jon at July 31, 2004 09:18 AM (RZ4Hy)
Posted by: Mudfish Billie at July 31, 2004 05:56 PM (uvu7I)
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July 29, 2004
TODAY'S LOVE NOTE
(
Introduction)
A Valentine is just a paper heart
Two curving lines connected, colored red.
And objects of great beauty, skill or art
Will not express the things that might be said.
And fancy rhyming words could never start
To quote the feelings blooming in my head.
And yet on special holidays like this,
I find that I resort to these and such.
But every glance and gaze, caress and kiss
Will surely show I love you very much.
With ecstasy beyond analysis,
Our lips and hearts and minds and spirits touch.
Because of love, my heart was first created,
And through your love, it's been regenerated.
(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)
Posted by: Harvey at
10:46 PM
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1
But your period's here, love is refrigerated
So I just went and masturbated.
Posted by: Harvey at July 29, 2004 10:49 PM (ubhj8)
2
Spank that monkey.... MonkeyBoy!!!
Posted by: Mudfish Billie at July 30, 2004 12:33 PM (uvu7I)
3
LOL! We call it "Blow-job Week" in our house. Well, we CALL it that anyway...
Posted by: Sally at July 30, 2004 01:08 PM (a1D32)
4
heheh...i for one think it'd be fun to see Kerry try to deliver this speech to Teresa...there'd be enough sweat pouring off Kerry to flood an entire city!
Posted by: Earl at July 30, 2004 03:38 PM (b/7hi)
5
EVERY week is "Spanking & Oral Sex Week" at House Example ;-)
Posted by: Harvey at July 30, 2004 06:24 PM (ubhj8)
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July 28, 2004
TODAY'S LOVE NOTE
(
Introduction)
Let me call you Sweetheart,
Because you'll always be,
The dearest and the sweetest one,
In all the world to me.
Because I'll always love you,
More than you could ever guess,
Because you are my everything,
My world, my happiness.
(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)
Posted by: Harvey at
10:21 PM
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1
And it doesn't hurt that your daddy's rich
my sweet sugarmama heiress.
Posted by: Harvey at July 28, 2004 10:21 PM (ubhj8)
2
Let me call you Sweetheart,
Because Love You I always will,
Let me call you Sweetheart,
Every void in my life you fill.
Let me call you Sweetheart,
A love so deep and so true,
Let me call you Sweetheart,
Being without you leaves me so blue.
Let me call you Sweetheart,
There is no one else for me,
Let me call you Sweetheart,
For together we shall always be!
heh
Posted by: _Jon at July 28, 2004 10:32 PM (RZ4Hy)
3
Dammit, _Jon, you're making me look bad, here :-P
Posted by: Harvey at July 28, 2004 11:10 PM (ubhj8)
4
Sorry dude, but that fake "extension" you wear under your spandex makes you look bad....
Posted by: _Jon at July 29, 2004 09:27 AM (ewFgD)
5
All
you need to look bad is a mirror....
Posted by: Mudfish Billie at July 29, 2004 09:27 AM (uvu7I)
6
I don't have a fake extension, I just accidentally and inadvertantly stuffed a bunch of documents into my pants.
Posted by: Harvey at July 29, 2004 06:36 PM (ubhj8)
7
'Fake' extension = oxymorom ????
Posted by: Mudfish Billie at July 29, 2004 06:56 PM (uvu7I)
8
Speaking of fake extensions, I recall one "Family Guy" episode in which Peter had Stewie the baby stuffed down in his pants...horrifying and hilarious, to say the least. Now I'm starting to wonder what else Sandy Berger took from the Archives....hell, I was starting to build up to a good joke about that but the idea just went down into Berger's pants. Oh, well.
Posted by: Earl at July 29, 2004 07:55 PM (b/7hi)
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July 27, 2004
TODAY'S LOVE NOTE
TODAY'S LOVE NOTE
(
Introduction)
If the sky were made of paper and the ocean my ink well, I still wouldn't be able to describe how much I love you, and how wonderful you make me feel when I am with you.
(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)
Posted by: Harvey at
06:42 PM
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Posted by: Harvey at July 27, 2004 06:43 PM (ubhj8)
2
So what's the pen? Naw, really?! Gotta write with something. If the ocean is the ink well and the sky is the paper, that little old thing, it just ain't in scale. Sorry Harvey. Size does matter in this case.
Course my brother used to write in the snow with it.
Posted by: BeeBee at July 27, 2004 06:50 PM (V1fcb)
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July 26, 2004
TODAY'S LOVE NOTE
(
Introduction)
You know it's love when the tiny details about another person, ones that are insignificant to most people, seem fascinating and incredible to you.
(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)
Posted by: Harvey at
10:21 PM
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1
... by which I mean that I adore the way you can fart "The Star Spangled Banner".
Posted by: Harvey at July 26, 2004 10:21 PM (ubhj8)
2
LOL!
and those other tiny details that seem so insignificant to most people but just. grate. on. my. nerves.
Posted by: sarahk at July 26, 2004 10:36 PM (HtWwm)
3
And the pattern of moles on her back that look just like President Buchannan.
Posted by: GEBIV at July 26, 2004 11:24 PM (/xqbY)
4
"And you're the only man I ever met that even knew how to locate that particular tiny detail..."
Posted by: Sally at July 27, 2004 12:28 PM (a1D32)
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July 25, 2004
TODAY'S LOVE NOTE
(
Introduction)
Because you lie beside me now,
I dream of kites and carousels
and sleep at peace within myself
and fear the night no more...
(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)
Posted by: Harvey at
11:20 PM
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1
... my Teletubbies nite lite helps, too.
Posted by: Harvey at July 25, 2004 11:20 PM (ubhj8)
2
i'm lying beside you, and you're dreaming about kites and carousels? hmmph.
Posted by: sarahk at July 25, 2004 11:54 PM (HtWwm)
3
If it were *you*, Sarah, I'd be dreaming about handcuffs & flavored body paint ;-)
Posted by: Harvey at July 26, 2004 12:15 AM (ubhj8)
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TODAY'S LOVE NOTE
(
Introduction)
You are what happened when I wished upon a star.
(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)
Posted by: Harvey at
01:10 AM
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1
... next time I'll wish for you, and see if I get that Corvette I asked for the first time.
Posted by: Harvey at July 25, 2004 01:10 AM (ubhj8)
2
or maybe you're what happened when i wished upon a black hole.
Posted by: sarahk at July 25, 2004 08:28 AM (HtWwm)
3
And Son#3 is what happened when I forgot to wish to the God Trojan.
Posted by: Boudicca at July 25, 2004 08:41 AM (i+hDf)
4
"I wished upon a star and....Wait! Weren't there supposed to be TWO of you?"
Posted by: Sally at July 25, 2004 11:46 AM (a1D32)
5
I wished upon a star and got burnt!
Posted by: _Jon at July 25, 2004 11:58 AM (RZ4Hy)
6
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Posted by: pee pics at September 28, 2004 11:21 AM (8scy+)
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July 23, 2004
TODAY'S LOVE NOTE
(
Introduction)
Being in love is like having a heart-on!
(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)
Posted by: Harvey at
11:24 PM
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1
... speaking of "on", would you prefer top or bottom?
Posted by: Harvey at July 23, 2004 11:26 PM (ubhj8)
2
Unfortunately, there's no "pace maker" option.
Along the same lines, I'd also like to buy insurance for the inevitable time when your heart gets ripped out from your chest and the person you loved so much stands there knawing at it and spitting pieces onto the floor while stepping on them and smashing the masticated chunks under their feet - the whole time saying "it's not you, I just need my space" - meanwhile you're just standing there feeling about 3 inches tall but wanting to scream; "YOUR A LIAR!! YOU'RE FUCKING LYING YOU PIECE OF SHIT! I HATE YOU, EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU AND I'M NEVER GONNA LOVE ANYONE ELSE BECAUSE OF HOW YOU FUCKED ME OVER YOU LOUSY PIECE OF SHIT!!!" But your mouth is dry, and you make lip movements like a fish out of water - just "mou" .. "mou" - eventually croaking out an "OK" or "I see" - followed up with "Well, I'll talk to you later then." And slowly you shuffle away, trying not to cry, but not certain how to walk. Kinda swimming in air, hoping nothing happens that requires you to do anything about it. God forbid you should have to look at anyone 'cause you'd be certain they would see into the horrible pain searing through your chest, making it feel heavy yet hollow at the same time.
Worse yet is when you have to sit in the same room with this demon-child, finishing out whatever you were doing, unable to leave after having all of the emotion drained out of you like so much water from a leaking balloon - you have to sit there, breathing is much too difficult, yet it still happens, damnit all, stupid breathing just stop I don't wanna breath no more, it hurts too much now - it hurts to see, breath, smell - ohhh, that f-ing smell - the scent, I used to love it - now *gag* .. I don't wanna lose much lunch .. I don't have the energy to puke anyhow .. I just wanna go curl up into a ball and die .. This sucks .. I hate people .. I've gotta get outta here - So you get up - gee weak legs too - good thing the table is there to steady me, hopefully no one saw it, gosh, I'm sweating, that's nice .. I'll just wander off to the bathroom .. maybe I can curl up and die there .. how long do you think I can hide before someone comes looking? What difference does it make? This sucks.
Oh, uh, sorry, got a little carried away on a side-track there...
Anyways, can I get an insurance policy for when that happens? huh?
(LOL! I have *NO* idea where that came from. I just started typing and that's what came out. As I think about it, maybe I was channelling my niece, who recently had her heart broken. She's only had two boyfriends, so this wonderful fun is still new to her. We talked about it last week, as I recall.)
Posted by: _Jon at July 24, 2004 12:47 AM (RZ4Hy)
3
_Jon needs a hug, send him over to BeeBee's place, Harvey. or here's one.
{{{_Jon}}}
Posted by: sarahk at July 24, 2004 07:29 AM (HtWwm)
4
OMG, _Jon. You are so feeling her pain. And I laughed because I have oh so been there...
Posted by: Boudicca at July 24, 2004 08:01 AM (eURZM)
5
_Jon, that was great! I laughed, Just love a good laugh. Made my morning. Can I put it on my blog?
Posted by: BeeBee at July 24, 2004 10:52 AM (V1fcb)
6
Sure, I'd be honored.
I was thinking that Harvey might ask that, as he's posted my comments more than once. I often cross-post them on one of my sites, but this post is just too .... odd .... for me to put on either of them!
Of course, you may have to edit out some of the words, which is fine too.
Posted by: _Jon at July 24, 2004 03:26 PM (RZ4Hy)
7
Bee-Bee: I'm going to post this one, too, but go ahead and post it at your place.
Seems like the boy could use all the love he can get ;-)
_Jon - ROTFL!
Posted by: Harvey at July 24, 2004 10:24 PM (ubhj8)
8
Now if you could only get rid of your screaming case of ED... maybe some Enztye?
Posted by: Mudfish Billie at July 25, 2004 12:53 PM (uvu7I)
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July 21, 2004
TODAY'S LOVE NOTE
(
Introduction)
I am a sailor, you're my first mate
We signed on together, we coupled our fate
Hauled up the anchor, determined not to fail
For the heart's treasure, together we set sail
With no maps to guide us, we steered our own course
Rode out the storms when the winds were gale force
Sat out the doldrums in patience and hope
Working together, we learned how to cope.
(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)
Posted by: Harvey at
09:36 PM
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1
Always we're smiling, with never a frown
Come into the bedroom and "blow the man down".
Posted by: Harvey at July 21, 2004 09:37 PM (ubhj8)
Posted by: Boudicca at July 21, 2004 09:42 PM (HqUup)
3
Hey, that's a nice poem.
Did you write that, or someone with talent?
:evil grin:
Posted by: _Jon at July 23, 2004 03:27 PM (RZ4Hy)
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July 20, 2004
TODAY'S LOVE NOTE
(
Introduction)
Have you ever met a woman
That inspires you to love
Until your senses all feel with her?
You inhale her
You taste her
You see your unborn child in her eyes,
And you know that your heart
Has at last found its home
Your life begins with her
And without her it surely comes to an end...
(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)
Posted by: Harvey at
06:48 PM
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1
... or at least it feels like it when you cut that alimony check every month...
Posted by: Harvey at July 20, 2004 06:48 PM (ubhj8)
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July 19, 2004
TODAY'S LOVE NOTE
(
Introduction)
Oh never fear, beloved friend, for in the end it's worth the price, the fee, the cost, when all is lost but love has won.
(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)
Posted by: Harvey at
10:45 PM
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1
... by which I mean that you should always go for the pricey hooker...
Posted by: Harvey at July 19, 2004 10:45 PM (ubhj8)
2
OR:
Oh fear greatly, drunken friend, for in the end, that piece won't be worth the price, the crabs, the clap, when all is lost but lust has won.
:happy dance:
G-d damnit!
Why did my brain just say;
"Not bad for a guy whose gonna die tomorrow."
What the f_ck?
Does anyone else get this way before a plane trip?
Geeze.
I *hope* I end up seeming like a fool in 24 hours.
Posted by: _Jon at July 19, 2004 11:04 PM (RZ4Hy)
3
_Jon, my friend, you pale in comparison to me. I won't even go into my neurotic rituals here. I cannot tell you how much I hate flying... so I don't. I should put a shrine to Amtrak in my house.
Posted by: Boudicca at July 20, 2004 07:48 AM (chGU1)
4
_Jon,
I bow before your greatness. Well DONE, sir! :-)
Posted by: Harvey at July 20, 2004 06:56 PM (ubhj8)
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TODAY'S LOVE NOTE
Blogson _Jon of
We Swear was riffing off of one of
my recently posted love notes in the comments and came up with this:
I love your eyes because they show such a beautiful soul...
I love your face because it is that of an angel...
I love your hair because it glows like a halo...
I love your lips because they give tingles with each caress...
I love your voice because it attracts me like a magnet...
I love your neck because it is grace defined...
I love your shoulders because none of their burden is revealed...
I love your breasts because they comfort unconditionally...
I love your hands because when held they share much love...
I love your fingers because they touch with such tenderness...
I love your tummy because rubbing it melts you like butter...
I love your hips because they are curved to perfection...
I love your butt because it entices like no other...
I love your thighs because they are warm and oh so squeezable...
I love your feet because when tickled the giggle is pure joy...
I love your toes because they love being nibbled so...
I love your heart because it loves me...
I love your soul because it has intertwined with mine...
I love you, because you are all I'll ever need.
More than anything else I've read in years, this describes how I feel about Beloved Wife.
I dedicate his words to her through my soul, since it's what I would say, because it's how I feel.
I'll be skipping the comment naughtiness on this one, if it's all the same to you.
Posted by: Harvey at
12:09 AM
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Posted by: _Jon at July 19, 2004 06:34 AM (RZ4Hy)
2
I emailed that one to my girlfriend on account of I miss her, cos I haven't seen her in a week.
No word back on whether she likes it or not.
But I'm a little worried because her feet aren't ticklish.
Posted by: Joey at July 21, 2004 11:04 PM (569c6)
3
Find someplace else ticklish that will bring joy...
Posted by: _Jon at July 23, 2004 08:24 PM (RZ4Hy)
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July 17, 2004
TODAY'S LOVE NOTE
(
Introduction)
I love life because it gave you to me... I love you because you are my life...
(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)
Posted by: Harvey at
11:43 PM
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1
... I love your sister because she's got a nice rack.
Posted by: Harvey at July 17, 2004 11:44 PM (ubhj8)
2
I love your eyes because they show such a beautiful soul...
I love your face because it is that of an angel...
I love your hair because it glows like a halo...
I love your lips because they give tingles with each caress...
I love your voice because it attracts me like a magnet...
I love your neck because it is grace defined...
I love your shoulders because none of their burden is revealed...
I love your breasts because they comfort unconditionally...
I love your hands because when held they share much love...
I love your fingers because they touch with such tenderness...
I love your tummy because rubbing it melts you like butter...
I love your hips because they are curved to perfection...
I love your butt because it entices like no other...
I love your thighs because they are warm and oh so squeezable...
I love your feet because when tickled the giggle is pure joy...
I love your toes because they love being nibbled so...
I love your heart because it loves me...
I love your soul because it has intertwined with mine...
I love you, because you are all I'll ever need.
Posted by: _Jon at July 18, 2004 02:01 AM (RZ4Hy)
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July 16, 2004
TODAY'S LOVE NOTE
(
Introduction)
With each glance into your beautiful eyes, I fall in love over and over again.
(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)
Posted by: Harvey at
10:44 PM
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1
... although you could certainly speed up the process by showing me your tits.
Posted by: Harvey at July 16, 2004 10:45 PM (ubhj8)
2
But how come you keep telling me it's $20 a dance?
Posted by: _Jon at July 17, 2004 09:45 AM (RZ4Hy)
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July 15, 2004
TODAY'S LOVE NOTE
(
Introduction)
I devote my heart to you, if you would be so kind as to take it.
(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)
Posted by: Harvey at
10:26 PM
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1
... other organs to follow...
Posted by: Harvey at July 15, 2004 10:26 PM (ubhj8)
2
And if you think I've got a big _heart_,
wait until you see *this*!
Posted by: _Jon at July 16, 2004 08:18 AM (ZM3Qb)
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July 14, 2004
TODAY'S LOVE NOTE
(
Introduction)
Just one night in your dreams would be like spending eternity staring at the face of an angel.
(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)
Posted by: Harvey at
11:00 PM
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1
... all things considered, I'd settle for 15 minutes of staring at the top of your bobbing head.
Posted by: Harvey at July 14, 2004 11:01 PM (ubhj8)
2
... or the back of your head...
Posted by: _Jon at July 15, 2004 07:15 AM (uHRYR)
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TODAY'S LOVE NOTE
(
Introduction)
Your eyes pull me to the shore, where I will crash upon your lips.
(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)
Posted by: Harvey at
12:03 AM
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1
... oops. Looks like I got a little "ocean spray" up your nose, there. Sorry about that...
Posted by: Harvey at July 14, 2004 12:04 AM (ubhj8)
2
But I hate it when you leave scrape marks with your teeth.
Posted by: _Jon at July 14, 2004 07:03 AM (ZM3Qb)
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July 12, 2004
TODAY'S LOVE NOTE
(
Introduction)
She walks in beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies
And all that's best of dark and bright
Meets in her aspect and her eyes
(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)
Posted by: Harvey at
10:41 PM
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1
So now I'll just turn off this light
And plant my face between her thighs
Posted by: Harvey at July 12, 2004 10:42 PM (ubhj8)
2
She's wearing a bag over her head so she doesn't have to see your ugly mug or the top of your bald head with the two long hairs combed over the top and swirled around several times.
Posted by: Madfish Willie at July 12, 2004 10:48 PM (yN46R)
3
Wait... that doesn't rhyme...
... and it's THREE hairs, thank you very much.
Posted by: Harvey at July 12, 2004 11:42 PM (ubhj8)
4
she knows he isn't really bright
but she gets his money when he dies.
i actually recognize this... what's it from?
Posted by: sarahk at July 13, 2004 06:56 AM (HtWwm)
5
Lord Byron had the hots for his sister. Look it up.
Posted by: Brian J. at July 13, 2004 10:58 AM (yJyUC)
6
http://www.bartleby.com/106/173.html
is what Brian meant to say :-)
Posted by: Harvey at July 13, 2004 06:05 PM (ubhj8)
7
There was no nudity in that url.
Posted by: _Jon at July 13, 2004 11:10 PM (RZ4Hy)
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July 11, 2004
TODAY'S LOVE NOTE
(
Introduction)
Alone I dare not climb... with you I reach new heights.
(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)
Posted by: Harvey at
10:55 PM
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July 10, 2004
TODAY'S LOVE NOTE
(
Introduction)
I'd rather have one breath of her air, one touch of her hand, one kiss of her lips, than an eternity without.
(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)
Posted by: Harvey at
11:12 PM
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1
... and a blowjob would be nice, too.
Posted by: Harvey at July 10, 2004 11:13 PM (ubhj8)
Posted by: stacey at July 10, 2004 11:18 PM (+BoxQ)
Posted by: Madfish Willie at July 11, 2004 07:16 AM (yN46R)
4
But she's not here and you are..so show me your boobies!!!
Posted by: Carrie at July 11, 2004 12:33 PM (lQ1KR)
Posted by: Madfish Willie at July 11, 2004 05:03 PM (yN46R)
6
That's just fucking sick....
Posted by: Madfish Willie at July 11, 2004 05:04 PM (yN46R)
7
eww..
some people are just too titeral..
I mean..literal.
Posted by: Carrie at July 11, 2004 05:06 PM (lQ1KR)
8
Ok, Stacey, I'll bite... how DID you find this place?
I checked out your site and was floored. I thought the rumors of people who habitually use "2" "4" "u" "+" & "bc" were just stories that middle-aged people told to try to scare me into studying English.
And as a former pizza delivery guy, I just HAVE to ask... where the hell were all the girls like you when *I* wanted Britney to answer the door and shake her ass at me?
Posted by: Harvey at July 11, 2004 07:22 PM (ubhj8)
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