You have a sexual IQ of 144 When it comes to sex, you are a super genius. You have had a lot of experience, and sex interests you so you know a lot about it. You pride yourself on being a source of information and guidance to all of your friends. Take this quiz at QuizUniverse.com

[Hat tip: Blogson Andrew of Custos Honor]

Posted by: Harvey at 02:21 PM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
Post contains 78 words, total size 1 kb.

1 152. Hmph. I figured you Navy guys would have us Army guys beat. So to speak.

Posted by: basil at December 10, 2005 04:23 PM (HGSz8)

2 *backs away slowly from Basil*

Posted by: Harvey at December 10, 2005 04:34 PM (ubhj8)

3 146. I didn't know what snowballing was...

Posted by: pam at December 10, 2005 07:35 PM (l6NIn)

4 130. No clue what snowballing is. And I only know what a circle jerk is from this blog! Remember that nasty commenter you had?!

Posted by: Bou at December 10, 2005 08:44 PM (iHxT3)

5 133. Just beat Bou... no idea what snowballing is.. .could guess... but don't really know. Read too many of my ex's playboy type magazines.

Posted by: vw bug at December 11, 2005 12:02 PM (SCN6v)

6 After taking that quiz, I plead the fifth. (Or for a fifth, either way...)

Posted by: Ogre at December 12, 2005 06:54 AM (/k+l4)

7 156! Other than that, I will not revel anything else.

Posted by: Machelle at December 12, 2005 09:29 AM (ZAyoW)

8 Harvey, don't tell me you answered yes to the last question....good lord.

Posted by: Kevin at December 14, 2005 10:25 PM (Nmxi6)

9 *checks 5th Amendment* Cool, hasn't been repealed yet :-) *says nothing*

Posted by: Harvey at December 14, 2005 11:08 PM (ubhj8)

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Lynn of Reflections in D Minor has this quote:

If Johann Strauss II is the musical equivalent of whipped cream, Richard StraussÂ’s waltzes from the Rosenkavalier are whipped cream with a pound of sugar and half a dozen egg yolks.

Then she asks for more music/food comparisons.

Personally, I've always considered Mozart to be whipped cream, chocolate syrup, and busty, identical-twin strippers.

Beethoven's pretty much the same thing, except with handcuffs & a bullwhip.

Posted by: Harvey at 07:10 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Pixy Misa of Ambient Irony and benevolent host of all MuNu blogs everywhere is turning... uh... details are sketchy...

Anyway, it's the 20th in Australia now.

Besides, it's an excuse to post smut (which I'll put in the extended entry as a courtesy to work-surfers - it's technically safe, but hard to explain):

Posted by: Harvey at 08:36 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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With today being "Talk Like a Pirate Day" (Sept 19th), the phrase "Jolly Rogering" gets tossed around a lot.

Some Googling informs me that "rogering" is British slang for intercourse, but here's where things get fuzzy. Various sources claim that rogering:

1) refers to intercourse in general

2) refers specifically to the more frantic & enthusiastic "Take me! Take me NOW!" sort of intercourse

3) refers specifically to anal intercourse (although they didn't specify whether it was homosexual, heterosexual, or both)

Anyone familiar with across-the-pond euphemisms, feel free to clarify.

Posted by: Harvey at 07:37 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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First I want to thank Blake of Laughing Wolf for making it possible for Beloved Wife to give me my birthday spankings in grand style.

And yes, I'm writing this post standing up.

Anyway, wanna see all the presents I found under my birthday tree yesterday?

Beloved Wife TNT of Smiling Dynamite gifted me with some classy apparel.

Niece/blogdaughter Sarah of That's Not Very Nice offers a link to these attractive hillbillies. There's some cleavage in the last picture if you want to wait for it to download.

She also gave me an actual gift last time I visited:

(click to enlarge)

Life Partner (don't ask) Graumagus of Frizzen Sparks apparently doesn't know that I was raised in a small town & not on a farm. Nevertheless, he ameliorates the faux pas by posting a pic of Sarah Michelle Geller... apparently in an air-conditioned room... and possibly after receiving implants.

Blogstump Contagion of Miasmatic Review goes above & beyond by mixing his wife's rack with foamy cheese goodness.

Identical cousin Blogsons Chuck & Roger of Class Mishaps remembered me, and Chuck even drew a comic. Sadly, I didn't have a "Nicole" in my class until 6th grade.

Blogdaughter Boudicca of Boudicca's Voice posted a nice pair of hand-warmers.

A plethora of gifts from Bloggranddaughter VW Bug of One Happy Dog Speaks. My "special" bookmarks folder just got a LOT more crowded.

Bloggreatgranddaughter Sticks of From Chaos to Serendipity has a nice little sumthin'-sumthin', plus a word of warning to all you wanna-be inventors out there.

It took bloggranddaughter Sissy of And What Next... 5 tries but she finally got it right. Have to admire her persistence.

By the way, that says "Focus On Your Goals...Just Dont Get Caught Focusing" in case you can't read it.

Blogson That 1 Guy of Drunken Wisdom (now with more MuNuey goodness!) takes the educational route. I feel smarter already.

Harvey of IMAO managed to sneak some cleavage onto IMAO under the guise of a Precision Guided Humor Assignment.

SarahK of Mountaineer Musings forgot that hotlinking is a bad thing, so you can't see the picture she got for me unless you check her comments.

Naughty, bandwidth-stealing SarahK! Just for that, I won't vote for your picture.

*dons Kevlar vest*

I think Susie of Practical Penumbra is accusing me of sexual harassment. I guess I'll need to study her SH policy a little more closely

Pam of Pamibe gets it right on the first try. The second try is a little more dubious, but technically accurate.

Lynn of Reflections in D Minor didn't specifically post this for my birthday, but I'm sure she was thinking of me while composing the post.

Jen of Jennifer's History & Stuff remembered me, though giftlessly. But she gets a pass because it was her birthday too.

I gave her present to her in the comments to THIS post.

I hope I at least make it to the second round.

Bloggranddaughter ArmyWifeToddlerMom apparently knows about my muppet fetish.

Blogdaughter Teresa of Technicalities apparently knows about my brunette fetish.

Blogson Andrew of Custos Honor apparently doesn't know that my fetish for muscular women ends at the arms.

Blogson GEBIV of There's One, Only! claimed not to have gotten me anything, but that's DEFINITELY a pair of headlights at the top of his page.

Ogre of Ogre's Politics & Views offers a troublesome set. At least PARTS of them are still perky.

Blogson Jeff of Ponytailed Conservative recycles an old gift.

Geez, you'd think he'd at least dig up something fresh so that he could Google-bait for Nude Olsen Twins.

Physics Geek has several sets to show off, one of which is covered by a darn spiffy T-shirt.

I should put that on a thong & sell it myself.

Jim of Snooze Button Dreams offers no cleavage, just one lonely boobie.

Bloggranddaughter Denise of A Peek Inside My Mind remembered me breastlessly, but I *do* want to say thanks :-)

Richmond of One For The Road wanted to keep her site family-friendly, but she DID e-mail me a lovely set of stunt-boobs:

It's possible that their from one of these blondes that she mentions.

TJ of New, Interesting, and Funny sent me a breastastic link. The "special" bookmarks folder continues to fill up.

By the way, if you've never been to his site, it's like Instapundit without the puppy-blending. Lots of informative links without the annoying pretense of commentary.

Bet you find SOMETHING you like.

Jay of Accidental Verbosity tried to keep it clean and - unfortunately - succeeds. There's some nice 8-track pr0n, though.

Basil of Basil's Blog mentions that I share my birthday with his daughter.

Hey! THAT'S not dirty!

And there's no an ounce of smut ANYWHERE on that blog.

But I *did* find some underfed hippy chicks by clicking on one of his ads.

*sigh*

Maybe next year.

Phin of Phin's Blog does MUCH better. Makes Lara Croft look like Olive Oyl.

Dr. Phat Tony has a candid shot, probably from a local Wal-Mart.

James of Partamanian Report didn't post a present deliberately, but he did leave a comment, and when I took a peek at his site, I found that he pointed a link to a leather-clad, all-girl Iron Maiden tribute band. What's not to love about that?

Oh, and he turns 35 on the 17th.

Caltechgirl of Not Exactly Rocket Science gives me... OH! That's just CRUEL!

Girl, you OWE me.

Meanwhile, here's a vaguely boob-related image from her site.

GBFan of Spotted Horse spared a warm thought, but no handwarmers.

Nevertheless, I found a quote worth putting in my sidebar, so that's just as good.

Oh, and some cake pr0n.

Beth of MY Vast Right Wing Conspiracy sent me a sweet & thoughtful e-mail, then offered me cybersex.

And she looks good in a thong, too.

I think that's everything.

If you think you've been snubbed or if you spot a broken link, holler in the comments.

Posted by: Harvey at 10:57 PM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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1 Haha, I didn't know that's what that poster said! I think that should be a banner on your sidebar :-P It fits you well!

Posted by: Sissy at September 15, 2005 11:12 PM (uXS+O)

2 Thanks for mentioning me, even though I fell down on the job. The truth is I found a picture for you and am publishing it. But I decided at the last minute to use it as part of a Filthy Lie. Oh, and I had to modify it slightly. So, no suitable picture this year. But I promise, unless I get hit by a bus or something, you'll get a picture (or two) next year when the BIG FOUR-OH rolls around. Happy birthday anyway.

Posted by: basil at September 15, 2005 11:20 PM (R0uvM)

3 Basil sure wiggled out of getting you a present, didn't he? Surely he must realize that next year will be the First Anniversary of your 39th birthday, NOT your 40th...

Posted by: Susie at September 16, 2005 02:29 AM (a0oF7)

4 i guess i just figured i'd get a pass since i was hotlinking to something on my other blog (which i never post on, but i could if i wanted!)! besides, it was to a picture of myself! *looks for P99*

Posted by: sarahk at September 16, 2005 05:36 AM (q4IUH)

5 It looks like you had a very "fruitful" Birthday! Just look at all of those melons you received! Wow!

Posted by: Richmond at September 16, 2005 09:25 AM (e8QFP)

6 I'm just getting back so I didn't get you a gift, but, the ladies from the party are still free and well-rested now, and are at your disposal! Happy Birthday adopted blogdaddy!

Posted by: Oddybobo at September 16, 2005 09:44 AM (6Gm0j)

7 Sarah - you need to fire a couple of warning shots at Frank for not letting you link your own picture :-) Oddy - I'll cheerfully accept any late presents you may offer ;-)

Posted by: Harvey at September 16, 2005 09:52 AM (ubhj8)

8 Now... shut your pie-hole... I actually give you some real boobie shots....

Posted by: Madfish Willie at September 17, 2005 08:16 PM (YFiLK)

9 Harvey, With regards to Sarah Michelle Gellar, I believe that those are real, but before she lost weight. If you compare her cleavage the first season of Buffy to the smaller version she sported later on, you'll notice a marked difference. Gellar actually commented that she'd lost an entire cup size while on a diet. Truthfully, I don't understand the Hollywood obsession with women that make Kate Moss look fat. Ugh.

Posted by: physics geek at September 20, 2005 08:15 PM (DAgzB)

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And you know what I want.

So... here's some shiny beads for enticement:

Now show me what ya got.

Posted by: Harvey at 07:43 AM | Comments (20) | Add Comment
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1 Happy Birthday Gramps........ Your present is hanging at my place, and don't thank me, thank Cammie.

Posted by: ArmyWifeToddlerMom at September 14, 2005 08:18 AM (pkeqs)

2 Uhm...should I assume the "soap-on-a-rope" I got you isn't exactly what you were hoping for? ;-) Happy Birthday anyway, ya big ingrate!

Posted by: Pam at September 14, 2005 10:08 AM (NUVcY)

3 Happy B-day, Harv!

Posted by: Susie at September 14, 2005 10:42 AM (a0oF7)

4 I'm a big believer in recycling... I know what you want for your birthday is boobies... here ya go, even though you've seen it before: Four young tender boobies on the left, one old saggy one on the right Happy birthday, Harv! In six days, you can return the wishes, fellow Virgo!

Posted by: Jeff at September 14, 2005 11:44 AM (lN7zP)

5 for some reason Pixy won't let me TB you (I'm guessing spam flood) so go here for more birthday greetings....

Posted by: caltechgirl at September 14, 2005 02:22 PM (/xzJW)

6 Mine are here: http://www.pamibe.com/?p=268 Well, they aren't MINE... LOL! Happy Natal Anniversary, Harvey!

Posted by: pam at September 14, 2005 02:47 PM (l6NIn)

7 Happy Birthday Harvey!

Posted by: Napster at September 14, 2005 02:50 PM (27GT7)

8 Happy Birthday Uncle/Father Harvey!!

Posted by: Sarah at September 14, 2005 03:09 PM (SAQt2)

9 Harvey, your Birthday Present is waiting for you over at my page...You are going to like it...maybe... http://thatsnotverynice.blogspot.com/

Posted by: Sarah at September 14, 2005 04:03 PM (SAQt2)

10 Happy 39th Harvey I guess this makes you a Pirate looking at 40. http://spottedhorse.blogspot.com/2005/09/damn-almost-forgot-this-happy-birthday.html Regards, GBfan

Posted by: gbfan001 at September 14, 2005 04:10 PM (TQzKH)

11 *Raises glass* A Happy Birthday salute to you Harvey!! May the road rise up to meet you. *gulp* Ahhhhh!! I love Scotch.

Posted by: spurs at September 14, 2005 05:38 PM (27GT7)

12 Happy Birthday GGDad Harvey. Here's to many more. {BTW-my trackback didn't work (neither one I tried), still having tech difficulites, but you have presents at my site too.}

Posted by: Sticks at September 14, 2005 06:46 PM (rn1OH)

13 PING For some reason my pinger's not working. Not like I need it anyway - only use the damn thing on my birthday. Hope yours is in good shape! ;-) Happy Birthday, Harv!

Posted by: Jim at September 14, 2005 06:53 PM (oqu5j)

14 heh.... Harbey's pinger isn't working either... it's been a little short on one end for a while... Happy Fucking Birthday - Dickhead!!1!!!!!!

Posted by: Madfish Willie at September 14, 2005 07:53 PM (YFiLK)

15 All I wanted for my B'Day was a bow-tie and a blow job... ended up getting a neck tie and a hair drier... WTF????

Posted by: Madfish Willie at September 14, 2005 07:54 PM (YFiLK)

16 Mine is HERE. Happy Birthday, Harvey. I hope TNT doesn't fail us in giving you 40 good birthday spankings! You know... 40... you need one to grow on. ;-)

Posted by: Bou at September 14, 2005 09:53 PM (5JHEt)

17 Happy Birthday. 39? That would be you, me and Jack Benny.

Posted by: Jim - PRS at September 15, 2005 04:35 AM (BjDAE)

18 Happy Birthday!

Posted by: Partamian at September 15, 2005 06:25 AM (7piLy)

19 You're getting senile in your old age Harvey, you took one look at the cow udders in my birthday post and didn't notice the goodies in the extended entry. You're slippin'....

Posted by: Graumagus at September 15, 2005 05:38 PM (EHV58)

20 Grau - Don't worry, I noticed :-)

Posted by: Harvey at September 15, 2005 10:27 PM (ubhj8)

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On September 14th 2005, I'll be turning 39 for the very first time, although probably not the last.

Normally I request boobie pictures for my birthday, but people keep posting bird photos, so I'll be more specific this year.

I want pictures of partially-to-completely nude human female breasts.

Yours, your friend's, your sister's, your mom's - whatever.

Here are some examples, if you're unclear on the subject (moderately safe for work, but difficult to explain).

Leave a link in the comments or trackback to this post and I'll collect all the links for a round-up on the 15th.

And for my Christian readers who think this is just dirty, I'll mention that King Solomon himself was quite the breast fan.

Although I'm not quite sure how comparing them to "clusters of grapes" is a compliment...

Posted by: Harvey at 09:04 AM | Comments (11) | Add Comment
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I'm headed out to visit blogless niece Sarah & nephew Michael. Should be back late Sunday. And instead of the usual random comment party, I'm going to follow the suggestion of bloggranddaughter VW Bug of One Happy Dog Speaks, and invite you to leave movie, book, or song titles in the comments, replacing one of the words in the title with some euphemism for breasts.

This post will remain at the top until I get home. New content (if any - I'll be stuck on dial-up) will appear below, so scroll down to check.

Posted by: Harvey at 06:32 PM | Comments (52) | Add Comment
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1 I have a feeling this is going to get ugly...

Posted by: Ogre at August 18, 2005 09:48 AM (/k+l4)

2 The Breasts of Wrath, John Steinbeck

Posted by: bloggless Niece Sarah at August 18, 2005 09:56 AM (9F5u7)

3 Heh, am i the only one there thatlaughed at "A fist full of booboes" with the next sentence being "Im headed out to visit blogless Niece..." It's so nice being in a close family. Oh, and Boobie Darko Cheech and Chong's The Boobie Brothers Bruce Campbell vs. Army of Boobies Murder by Boobies Boobie and Bullwinkle, season 1 and who can forget Willaim Powell and Myrna Loy in : The Boobie Man

Posted by: tommy at August 18, 2005 10:02 AM (EhwJT)

4 Little Boob on the Prarie

Posted by: Bloggless Niece Sarah at August 18, 2005 10:09 AM (9F5u7)

5 Four Past Boobnight, Stephen King

Posted by: Bloggless Niece Sarah at August 18, 2005 10:22 AM (9F5u7)

6 Seven Brothers and Seven Boobies.

Posted by: Ogre at August 18, 2005 10:37 AM (/k+l4)

7 Charlie and the Chocolate Boobies.

Posted by: Ogre at August 18, 2005 10:38 AM (/k+l4)

8 The Boobie Olympics, Richard D. Mandell

Posted by: Bloggless Niece Sarah at August 18, 2005 10:51 AM (9F5u7)

9 Shakes The Boobies Saving Private Tits Revenge of the Knockers Titties! Titties! Titties! Eight Double-D's in a Duffelbag Episode 1: The Phantom Mammary Episode 2: Attack of the Cones Episode 3: Revenge of the Spheres Episode 4: A New Hooters Episode 5: The Empire Strikes Breasticles Episode 6: Return of the Juggs

Posted by: Graumagus at August 18, 2005 11:56 AM (qfm11)

10 Boobies and the Beast Indiana Jones and the Boobies of Doom Boobies for Dummies Boobylicious, Beyonce Beginning Boobies or Boobies Best Practices (boobies substituted for Perl) Boobie Manipulation: Ancient and Modern Ninja Techniques, Haha Lung, Christopher Porwant The 48 Laws of Boobies, Robert Green Boobies: The Psychology of Persuasion, Robert B Cialdini How to Make Anyone Fall in Love With You Boobies, Leil Lowndes Boobie Juggling with Andy Head Video OK, I'm gonna stop now. This is getting wrong...

Posted by: Anathematized1 at August 18, 2005 12:04 PM (JHHfH)

11 Sin Titty Must Love Dugs Sisterhood of the Traveling Pleasure peaks Secrets of the Ya-Ya Ta-Ta's The Fantastic Feedbags One flew over the Coo-coo's Knockers

Posted by: Graumagus at August 18, 2005 12:05 PM (qfm11)

12 Island of the Blue Boobies, Scott O'Dell

Posted by: Bloggless Niece Sarah at August 18, 2005 12:31 PM (2FgS0)

13 The War Against The Tits 1933-1945, Lucy S. Dawidowicz

Posted by: Bloggless Niece Sarah at August 18, 2005 12:33 PM (2FgS0)

14 "20,000 Knockers Under the Sea" "Dances With Hooters" "Brave Tits" "Dora the Double-D Dominatrix" (sorry, I had to do it) "A Tale of Two Titties" "The Two Ta-Tas" "Fellowship of the Breasticles" "Return of the Bumpies" "Revenge of the Birds" I should stop. . .

Posted by: Wes at August 18, 2005 12:36 PM (JHHfH)

15 Inside The Third Nipple, Albert Speer

Posted by: Bloggless Niece Sarah at August 18, 2005 12:36 PM (2FgS0)

16 One Flew Over the Boobiehatch What About Boob? Boobdazzled Bedknobs and Boobsticks

Posted by: Richmond at August 18, 2005 12:41 PM (d7j8g)

17 Born Fighting, How the Scots-Irish Shaped Boobland, James Webb

Posted by: Bloggless Niece Sarah at August 18, 2005 12:42 PM (2FgS0)

18 West Side Fun Bags, (West Side Story)

Posted by: Bloggless Niece Sarah at August 18, 2005 12:55 PM (2FgS0)

19 For those of us with kids: One Boob, Two Boob Red boob, Blue Boob by Dr. Seuss

Posted by: Richmond at August 18, 2005 01:09 PM (d7j8g)

20 Boobie Horror Picture Show Boobs! (for Hair!) Titty, Titty, Bang, Bang Breastigan Rio Boobo The Boobs of Katie Elder The Mammary Who Shot Liberty Valance Boob Alley Bet ya didn't know John Wayne was so into ta-tas.

Posted by: Oddybobo at August 18, 2005 01:19 PM (6Gm0j)

21 Migrants, Sharecroppers, Boobaniers, Robert Coles

Posted by: Bloggless Niece Sarah at August 18, 2005 02:11 PM (4TqRy)

22 The South Goes Titty, by Robert Coles

Posted by: Bloggless Niece Sarah at August 18, 2005 02:13 PM (4TqRy)

23 P. O. Ackley's Handbook for Shooters & Boobies.

Posted by: Peter at August 18, 2005 02:39 PM (sDt+a)

24 "Boot, Scootin, Boobies" "A Hitchhiker's Guide to Hooters" "Boobarella" "Turn on Your Headlights" "Tuesdays with Boobies" Dean Koontz's "Frankenstein, Book Two: Titties of of Night" "Why do Men Have Nipples?"

Posted by: Oddybobo at August 18, 2005 02:44 PM (6Gm0j)

25 The Mony Python fans out there cannot forget "A Sale of Two Titties" by Darles Chickens. My own: The Lord of the Tits by J.R.R. Titslinger The Breastastic Voyage by Jewels Verne

Posted by: Warren at August 18, 2005 03:01 PM (iJfPJ)

26 For Audrey Hepburn fans.... Breastfest at Tiffanys or Breakfast at Titties (and hahahaha Oddybobo for Titty Titty Bang Bang )

Posted by: Richmond at August 18, 2005 03:25 PM (d7j8g)

27 Planet of the Boobs

Posted by: Bloggless Niece Sarah at August 19, 2005 02:08 AM (IxRan)

28 Can you imagine how many comments this would be if everyone did one comment for each title? Whoa! Sports Boobitstrated

Posted by: VW Bug at August 19, 2005 05:43 AM (coJPb)

29 Or would Boob Illustrated be better?

Posted by: VW Bug at August 19, 2005 05:45 AM (coJPb)

30 How about: "The Italian Boob"

Posted by: Oddybobo at August 19, 2005 07:03 AM (6Gm0j)

31 Or: "Fast-times at Titty High"

Posted by: Oddybobo at August 19, 2005 07:05 AM (6Gm0j)

32 Or: "Breast Me If You Can" or even: "Boob Cassidy and the Sundance Kid"

Posted by: Oddybobo at August 19, 2005 07:05 AM (6Gm0j)

33 "Gold Boobies" "Dr. Jugs" "Her Majesty's secret mammeries"

Posted by: ArmyWifeToddlerMom at August 19, 2005 10:02 AM (J0V84)

34 The Man With One Red Mammary Mutiny on the Mammary The Princess Breasts Clear and Present Mammary And now for a little music: "Mammary glands. You've got the cutest little mammary glands. And when I hold those mammary glands, In my hands..." More to come.

Posted by: physics geek at August 19, 2005 10:56 AM (Xvrs7)

35 Tit Club Breasts of Fury The Beverly Hillboobies Boobs in Space High Plains Breasts Pale Breasts Legally Boob Young Jugs... uh... yeah. Meet the Boobs

Posted by: Tuck at August 19, 2005 02:55 PM (JRLuB)

36 Areola Supply with "I'm all out of Jugs", "My Breast Friend", and "Without Boobs". Then there was that movie Breast of the Breast

Posted by: Dr. Phat Tony at August 19, 2005 03:48 PM (fk/lm)

37 My Cousin Titty The Greatest Titscape The Color Purple On Golden Boob Cannonball Titty Smokey and the Boobage True Tit Blazing Cleavage

Posted by: ArmyWifeToddlerMom at August 19, 2005 11:06 PM (Nrcnk)

38 Bill and Tits excellent adventure American Graftitty The Dirty D-cup The Tits of Navarone Edward Nipple Hands The Tit that Stole Christmas

Posted by: ArmyWifeToddlerMom at August 19, 2005 11:11 PM (Nrcnk)

39 The Jugfather, I II & III The Puppies Of The Opera Boob Zone The titlight zone Frankentitty Boob Stroker's Dracula The attack of the killer melons The Star Spangled titty Jugs Gone Wild I could go on for a while . . .

Posted by: Aris Ravencroft at August 20, 2005 02:18 AM (mtIIe)

40 From my nightstand: For Whom the Boob Tolls: Hemingway An Introduction to Objectivist Titology: Rand Cleavage Shrugged: Rand

Posted by: Two Dogs at August 20, 2005 10:02 PM (d8kHN)

41 Knocker-round Guys Three Mams and a Baby Batboob Beauty and the Breast For whom the Boob tolls The Huge Set of Tits At the End of the Universe Dude, Where's My Tit?

Posted by: Ken at August 21, 2005 02:22 AM (DX+fh)

42 Oops on the hemmingway book. Sorry two dogs. I just skipped to the end and posted.

Posted by: Ken at August 21, 2005 02:24 AM (DX+fh)

43 The Adventures of Buckaroo Boobies Across the Eighth Dimension and Thirty-Two Small Tatas About Glenn Gould

Posted by: LDH at August 21, 2005 04:05 AM (FzG91)

44 Oh, and also Gone With The Titties...

Posted by: LDH at August 21, 2005 04:16 AM (FzG91)

45 False Mammaries by Dean Koontz Tit Catcher by Steven King

Posted by: sticks at August 21, 2005 06:01 AM (nkFVv)

46 Remember little golden books? The Poky Little Titty The Good Hooter Man Old Macdonald Had a Mammogram.

Posted by: SeanS at August 21, 2005 08:00 AM (cEjQ0)

47 I'm a flat chested woman, not a false tit broad...

Posted by: sticks at August 21, 2005 04:28 PM (nkFVv)

48 Fun-Bags at Ridgemont High.

Posted by: jimmyb at August 21, 2005 05:24 PM (cyR43)

49 meh... "Penis" is much funnier than "Boobies"

Posted by: Madfish Willie at August 23, 2005 08:53 AM (0LuE9)

50 Jurassic Knockers The Lost Tit Boobs Another Day The Fifth Boobie StarBoobie X-Tit The Battle for Boobs

Posted by: Tyler D. at August 25, 2005 10:00 PM (dd9FX)

51 The Boob with One Red Shoe The Perfect Boobies 12 Angry Nipples The Tit Strikes Back The Fellowship of the Melons The Two Bazoombas The Great Jugs Desperately Seeking Hooters Finding Tettes

Posted by: Uber at August 26, 2005 03:04 AM (oXbKj)

52 Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Knockers Big Titties in Little China The Jugs of Navarone Two Boobs for Sister Sara Silence of the Mams Breakin' 2: Electric Boobaloo The Funbags and the Furious Titspotting

Posted by: Jason at August 27, 2005 02:54 PM (iSHW5)

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Answer in extended entry (make sure the boss isn't looking - marginally work safe, but hard to explain)... more...

Posted by: Harvey at 03:29 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
Post contains 57 words, total size 4 kb.

...to owning the #6 Google Images hit for "tight jeans", and comments like these are one of them:

The lady in jeans is superb. Her buttocks are wonderful. I can't understand criticism of this erotic picture.

Left by the owner of A Good Hiding! - a British spanking site, mostly geared toward the "Angry Headmaster vs. Naughty Schoolgirl" caning sort of thing.

The nicest thing about this site is that the girls DO have generously spankable bottoms.

Not TERRIBLY obscene - mostly just naked butts & I didn't see any full-frontal. It's more informative and philosophical than merely pictoral, yet this site would still be VERY difficult to explain if your boss wandered by.

I liked the "Frequently Unasked Questions" page, though:

What's all this corporal punishment stuff then ?
What's the most dangerous scenario imaginable ?
How can I find a woman who is interested in receiving corporal punishment ?
I don't want to pay for it, what can I do ?
I don't think my wife/girlfriend would ever let me spank her.
How hard should I spank my partner ?
How many smacks should I give ?
Who is actually in conrol during a corporal punishment session ?
What about caning, isn't it terribly cruel ?
What are the most interesting things a submissive woman has ever said to you ?
How can a woman protect herself ?
Can I read what those involved in the subject have to say for themselves ?

You should probably go study up. There may be a quiz later.

Spankings for those who pass...

Posted by: Harvey at 04:31 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Because SarahK's a nice girl and her readers are probably all very decent Christian folk.

But I saw this line in one of her posts:

iÂ’m giving up white other-than-sugar carbs, at least in the evenings. any white stuff will have to be eating breakfast or lunch.

*bites tongue really, really hard*

I'm going to burn in hell for even noticing that, aren't I?

Posted by: Harvey at 11:24 AM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
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"The Internet is for Porn"

The musical.

No, that is NOT me wearing blue fur and eating a cookie.

I'm the guy at the chalkboard.

[Hat tip: Bloodspite of Technography]

[submitted to Wizbang's Carnival of the Trackbacks]

Posted by: Harvey at 08:52 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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So... where DID that lusty ringtone come from?

Orgasmatones.

Just type in your name, pay the dudes a couple quid, and your phone will ring with the sound of a woman passionately and repeatedly calling your name.

THAT should encourage you to shut the damn thing off in the theater.

[Hat tip: bloggreatgrandson Spurs of Pull My Finger]

Posted by: Harvey at 08:36 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Saw this fun little toy at Frizzen Sparks & couldn't help myself.

(click to enlarge)

Or maybe it was just the Jolt Cola.

Posted by: Harvey at 04:45 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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While I'm still sticking with my "toy" theme for Father's Day & my 2nd blogiversary (June 19th & 21st, respectively), I think Susie of Practical Penumbra's idea falls within the category under a broad interpretation, because a woman sans dainties is certainly something I'd enjoy playing with:

I hear by declare June 21st, 2005 the official Blogosphere "Go Commando Day"! That's right, ladies--in honor of Harv's second anniversary of blogging I urge all his female readers to eschew underwear on June 21st.

Serving suggestion in the extended entry (and remember, if you link this post, the picture won't be hidden when your reader gets here, so give fair warning about workplace suitability) more...

Posted by: Harvey at 07:43 AM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
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Bloggranddaughter ArmyWife of ArmyWifeToddlerMom is still awash in estrogen after reading my "Wondrous Vulva Puppet" post. So much so that she wants to do a female-oriented blog event:

After seeing the Scots unite on tartan Day, I thought yesterday would have been a great day, for my fellow female bloggers to vagina blog. It is not catching on like I would have thought. I am going to allow my fellow sisters in blogging the opportunity to "file an extension" over the weekend to celebrate.... "The First Annual Vagina Blog Event........or Snooch-a-Palooza" Take your pick.

Interesting.

Despite the fact that I feel... excluded... somehow, I would like to encourage participation.

But that name's gotta go.

There are so many lilting euphemisms for that little slice of heaven, that calling it a "vagina blog event" just seems so unpoetic. Let's consider some alternative names:

Hmmmm... this list is kinda long & tasteless. Think I'll put it in the extended entry... more...

Posted by: Harvey at 11:15 PM | Comments (18) | Add Comment
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1 You are so naughty, Harvey.....please have TNT use your anniversary present on you tonight, and by the way you are invited. I take it you did not like "Snooch-a-palooza?"....damn I thought it was catchy. I was even going to ask you to be my "t-shirt babe". Unless "t-shirt babe" is something only Frank J can use.....then maybe I will make panties.....that is even better.

Posted by: ArmyWifeToddlerMom at April 16, 2005 08:19 AM (PuMEq)

2 I personally like Carnival of Cooters. Some others: Taco Turnouts Band of the Boxes Party of the Pie Frolic of the Frange nah, those such...I still like your first one!

Posted by: Sissy at April 16, 2005 08:19 AM (PjqiK)

3 Well, I was going to add a couple but I couldn't bring myself to say them in public... except for Lyrics from the Love Canal, that one has a poetic ring to it. But I just can't think of an alliterative way to use Golden Portal for the Jade Stalk as a carnival title!

Posted by: Susie at April 16, 2005 08:58 AM (I7fob)

4 I must say, I would prefer NOT to be considered a Canyon. GRIN.

Posted by: vw bug at April 16, 2005 08:58 AM (atmrq)

5 Bug - focus on the "Grandest" part :-)

Posted by: Harvey at April 16, 2005 10:54 AM (ubhj8)

6 bLABIAthon LABIAtions (like libations) The Venus Flytrap Papers Honey Pot-Luck Vivacious Vulvalogues Covey of Coozes Snatch Batch Silk Purse Set P***y Passel (or Posse even) Kitty Clique Vuvla Sects Sugar Walls Sisterhood Camel Toe Coalition Circle of Clams Critique Pink-Tank (like a think tank) She-woman Man Hater Club Litter of Kitty Chatter The Wandering Menstrals Menstral Conglomerate The Pink Papers Gee... might have to come back to this later...

Posted by: tbflowers at April 16, 2005 10:56 AM (o9JGX)

7 From Wikipedia Carnival of the/ X-palooza * Almeja (Spanish) * Asoko (Japanese) * Axe wound * Baby ATM * Baby cave * Baby chute * Bank * Bearded axe wound * Beast, the * Beef sleeve * Bhosdo (Hindi) * Boba (Spanish language - What little girls call their vaginas) * Boji (Korean) * Box * Bread-box * Budissey * Bushy plate * Camel toe pie * Cave * Center of the universe * Cha cha (South Park reference) * Choach/Choachee * Chocho (Spanish) * Choncha * Choot (Hindi) * Choochi * C Jay C * Cock dock * Cock Gobbler * Cock holster * Cock Wallet * Cock warmer * Cockpit * Cock squeezer * Cockhole * Cocking station * Cocksocket * Cooch * Coochie-snorcher (from The Vagina Monologues, the Eve Ensler play) * Cooter * Cooz/Cooze/Coozie * Concha (Latin American Spanish) * Cona (Portuguese) * Coño (Spanish) * Crab-hole * Cream collector * Cream wringer * Cuint (Irish) * Cum dumpster * Cum tunnel * Cunny * Cunt * Cunt Hole * Cus (Hebrew) * Dick holster * Dugout * El corte Ingles (Portuguese:"the English cut") * Fanny (British English; in US English it means the posterior) * Fanjita * Fetus cannon * First Pussy, The (The First Lady of the United States -- said to have been used by Larry Flynt when he acquired and published nude photos of Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis) * Fish * Fish taco * Fitte (Norwegian) * Flange * Flesh tuxedo (Spinal Tap reference) * Flower * Foo foo valve * Front bottom * Fuck chasm * Fud (Scottish) * Fun hole * Fun hump * Fur burger * Furry cup * Gaj's fun area * Gap * Gaping wound of the Christian fathers * Gash * Git * Golden doughnut * Goody bag * Goody gash * Grand Canyon (large vagina) * Grease quiver * Gummy smile * Gutted hedgehog * Hair pie * Hair taco * Hairy grail * Hairy love hole * Hatchet wound * Honey pot * Hoobie * Hotbox * Hurrah hump * Ihir (Arabic) * Jenny * Kuku (Latin American Spanish) * Love canal * Love lock * Love locker * Love locket * Love socket * Love mitten * Manko (Japanese) * Mating bucket * Meat locker * Meat pocket * Meat sleeve * Meat wallet * Meow * Meercat * Minge * Misty spelunk (from spelunking) * Monkey tube * Moose knuckle * Mutt (Australian) * Neden * Neko * Naani * No-no zone * Nooner (SNL skit) * Old oily * Omanko (Japanese) * Papo (Spanish, used more in Venezuela than in Spain) * Peg Slot * Piffers * Pink velvet sausage wallet * Piss Flaps (Used in Canada mostly) * Pizda (Russian) * Pooku ( Telugu [India] ) * Poon * Poontang * Power Slot * Praying mantis * Puke/Puki (Filipino) * Punani * Puppy maker * Pussy * Queef hole * Queef vent * Rat trap * red snapper * Right hole * Roast Beef * Rot box * Rug * Sausage wallet * Scar * Skwack * Sleipetorva (Norwegian) * Slippery slot * Slit * Slot * Snapper * Snatch * Snoo Snoo hole * Spam purse * Sperm bank * Sperm purse * Spit bucket * Squeeze box (alternate name for an accordian, also a song by The Who) * Stinky pinky * Stinky orifice of Doom * Stink hole * Sugar walls * Sussy * Taco * Tang * The Winter of My Discontent * Tuna * Tuna cave * Twat * Tweety/Tweetybird * Vag (long g sounds like a j) * Velvet * Vertical bacon sandwich * Vertical smile * Venus cock trap * Whisker biscuit * Winking eye * Winky * Wizard's sleeve * Xibiu (Brazilian Portuguese) * Ya-ya * Yoni (Hindi) * Ying-yang * Yum-yum * Yummy

Posted by: Tom at April 16, 2005 12:09 PM (UCGFN)

8 Bearded Clambake? Gathering of the Velvet Gash? Carnival of the Cum Recepticles? Ok.. the last one was tasteless even by my standards

Posted by: Graumagus at April 16, 2005 12:39 PM (CVHPO)

9 Good Lord, I do believe Tom scares me. My pick is Powwow of the Pink Panthers. However, I like snootch a palooza a lot. Kinda catchy. S he's asked for stories in today's post. Damn if I have any. I'm thinking, I'm thinking.

Posted by: Boudicca at April 16, 2005 02:50 PM (z7nbM)

10 I have offended even Graumagus?! Excellent!

Posted by: Tom at April 16, 2005 03:21 PM (UCGFN)

11 No, I almost offended myself with the Cum Recepticles. But you came close If someone actually offends me by being vulagr I'm going to have to give them some kind of award....

Posted by: Graumagus at April 16, 2005 08:44 PM (9L9TJ)

12 these were all fantastic....I think every year we will vote....however....I think snooch, is the clear winner.

Posted by: ArmyWifeToddlerMom at April 16, 2005 09:09 PM (CVZTL)

13 By the way I found none of these offensive, imagine that.....all would make great names for a band....does anyone have a band that needs a name?

Posted by: ArmyWifeToddlerMom at April 16, 2005 10:09 PM (CVZTL)

14 "If someone actually offends me by being vulagr I'm going to have to give them some kind of award...." Grau - is that a challenge? :-)

Posted by: Harvey at April 16, 2005 11:48 PM (ubhj8)

15 Grau- I will take on that challenge. I already have a boredomblogging category. Now I will make a grossingoutGraumaguscategory.

Posted by: Tom at April 17, 2005 01:09 AM (UCGFN)

16 Hmmmm this bears some thought... and some spellchecking. Dear god, I've never had that many typos unless I was drunk...

Posted by: Graumagus at April 17, 2005 08:48 PM (sI3Jf)

17 ArmyWifeToddlerMom - I think we're going to need a contest!

Posted by: TNT at April 18, 2005 12:28 AM (ubhj8)

18 For all you Chuacer fans: Carnival of the Queynte Don't blame me. Blame my English Lit prof.

Posted by: physics geek at April 18, 2005 11:00 AM (Xvrs7)

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Anyone who reads this blog knows that I'm a HUGE fan of female body parts, and would probably guess that I also enjoy anatomical correctness on inanimate objects.

But thanks to an e-mail from ArmyWife of ArmyWifeToddlerMom (who's REALLY hot... for someone who's almost 20), I found out that there are folks who take my obsession to overly-drastic extremes.

Do I really need to say more than "Wondrous Vulva Puppets"?

No, seriously.

Look, I *want* to be open-minded and understanding here. I realize that some women have issues about their (as the website describes them) "flipper-flappers", and perhaps this muppet-gone-horribly-wrong actually has some therapeutic value. It's just that there's a couple things that could've been done more tastefully...

Like this description:

The Wondrous Vulva Puppet is soft, receptive, visually beautiful and they smell good!

And that top-right picture... which avoids being a "fisting" only by virtue of the lady's thumb still being on the outside.

Damn.

And I thought I was bad for posting pictures of Bondage Bear...

Posted by: Harvey at 10:30 PM | Comments (13) | Add Comment
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A present from Linus of Pepper of the Earth.

Pretty much not work safe due to excessive boob jigglage, but DO try to show up early in the day, as the hosts occasionally exceed their bandwidth. If that happens, just try again another time.

I wonder if Susie's #8? They look about the right size & perkiness...

Posted by: Harvey at 11:06 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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1 And Christmas comes early this year...

Posted by: physics geek at December 09, 2004 10:18 AM (Xvrs7)

2 Guessed wrong, Harv! But you have to wait until next Wednesday to see the right ones...

Posted by: Susie at December 09, 2004 01:05 PM (3nS88)

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A little something e-mailed to me by SondraK of Knowledge Is Power. Not even remotely work safe.

Please note - due to Bill Clinton not being cool enough to get his own doll, the part of Bill Clinton will be played by George W. Bush.

Politics aside, I couldn't help but find myself amused.

Posted by: Harvey at 10:24 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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In the comments to this post wherein I picked some "L" words that made me think of Beloved Wife, Linus of Pepper of the Earth mentioned a certain song about the letter "L" from Sesame Street.

Blogdaughter Boudicca of Boudicca's Voice mentioned that I could do my very own special rendition of it.

She should REALLY learn when to shut up.

Anyway, I copied the lyrics from here, and made some... adjustments...

The result is just plain horrifying, and certainly not for anyone with any sense of propriety, decency or taste. For the sake of The Children^TM and people surfing from work, I'm putting this atrocity in the extended entry.

Finally, my sincerest apologies to Jim Henson, Frank Oz, and the Children's Television Workshop.

I will burn in hell for this. more...

Posted by: Harvey at 11:05 PM | Comments (11) | Add Comment
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