KARNIVAL OF THE KIDZ - RETURN OF THE BAD UNCLE

I don't have any children myself, but I *do* have brothers & sisters with kids, which makes me an uncle.

A bad uncle.

Yeah, I'm the one that teaches the kids important life skills that they can use to drive their parents crazy.

Serves 'em right for letting me babysit.

I thought people would've learned their lesson by now, but - once again - a crowd of grubby crumb-crunchers is jumping on my furniture & scaring the cats, so the least I can do is to make sure they go away a little more creative than when they arrived...

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Sally of Whimsy Capricious takes her daughter "punting", which - surprisingly - is NOT a British euphemism for something that should only be done by adults.

"Seriously! Cats can swim! Toss this one off the bridge if you don't believe me."

Equuschick of The Common Room probably knows what it means when a man's feet are really big, but her kid has a theory on what it means when they're two different sizes.

"Squeeze all the ketchup into one end of the packet, then slam your fist down on it. With a little practice, you'll be able to hit targets clear across the room."

ArmyWife of ArmyWifeToddlerMom posted a picture. See if you can spot 3 things wrong with it.

"When your sister's sleeping, put shaving cream in her hand, then tickle her nose EVER so gently."

Sweetney of Sweetney.com actually discovered a way to make the movie "March of the Penguins" interesting.

"HAH! The lady in front of me now has SIX pieces of popcorn stuck in her hair and hasn't noticed yet. Beat that!"

On behalf of human pet Bruce, Ferdinand of Conservative Cat explains why third chair trumpet in an orchestra is better than first chair in a band.

"Anyone can squeeze their hands together to make fart sounds, but did you know that you can play entire SONGS that way?"

Speaking of music, Amy of Prochein Amy has a kid who insists that there's only one way to master the art of finger-snapping. Guess I'll have to find something else to do with MY fingers :-(

"You can make your mommy's favorite sound by blowing on a blade of grass using this special technique. Use it to wake her up in the morning to show her how much you love her."

VW Bug of One Happy Dog Speaks has a young son with a pickle problem.

"Writing your name in the snow is easy. Dotting the i's & crossing the t's... THAT'S an accomplishment"

Based on two reports from Jody of Iowa Geek, I suspect we may have to fight the Revolutionary War again, as Monarchist forces appear to have invaded our fair shores.

"Need a light saber to go with that Jedi costume? Check in the back of that drawer in mommy's nightstand."

Headmistress/Zookeeper of The Common Room demonstrates the futility of using literature as a somnolescent.

"If you expect to get enough height to touch the bedroom ceiling, you need to pop your legs straight just as the bed starts springing you back upwards."

Susie of Practical Penumbra wonders what the baby in this picture is thinking. My guess is "OO! I love Pampered Chef parties!"

"If you sprinkle pepper on a red hot electric stove burner, it makes pretty sparkles!"

GA Mongrel is dealing with some enunciation issues. I tell ya, kids & music just don't mix.

"No, 'ass' isn't a bad word. It means "donkey". Here... just type it into Google Image search and see for yourself... uh... ok, maybe it IS a bad word..."

Looks like ArmyWife of ArmyWifeToddlerMom found out the hard way that she shouldn't slice onions while taking pictures of her kids.

"Onions taste great raw, too. You can eat 'em just like an apple. Here... take a big ol' bite."

Despite the best efforts of Sticks of From Chaos to Serendipity, she couldn't talk Gilette into using her kids in their commercials.

"It's ok to write on the walls with shaving cream because it's basically just soap anyway."

And finally, a tragic tale of hardship from my own misspent youth:

(click to enlarge)

"Back when I was a kid, we didn't HAVE fancy digital cameras! We had to use PlaySkool Cameras made out of WOOD, and by gum, that's the way we LIKED it!"

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go try to get this popcorn out of my hair.

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ENDNOTES: Every link-fest carnival needs a moderator - someone to oversee the hosting and submission issues that inevitably crop up. Sadly, VW Bug of One Happy Dog Speaks no longer has sufficient time to devote to the Karnival of the Kidz, meaning that this will be the last edition.

UNLESS... if someone would like to volunteer to be the new moderator, please contact VW, and she will set you up with passwords, links, and mailing lists.

Duties include:

Sending out reminder e-mails
Putting a reminder post on your own site a couple days before the entry deadline
Updating the Karnival of the Kids home page
Getting volunteers for each week's round-up
Hosting the round-up yourself if you can't find a volunteer
Linking the Karnival after it's been posted

Anyone interested in taking on a big sack of responsibilities can e-mail VW at onehappydog-at-gmail.com

Posted by: Harvey at 11:24 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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