March 22, 2006

MEN IN A NUTSHELL

Richmond of One For the Road says that to understand men, all you need to do is understand the 7 questions that drive their lives:

1. Am I hungry?
2. Am I horny?
3. Do I have to pee?
4. Is the game on?
5. Will this get me laid?
6. Am I sleepy?
7. Will this make me money?

Can't really argue with this list. And the number 8 for married guys rounds it out exquisitely:

8. Is my wife gonna yell at me if I.....?

However, I think she may be slightly off on answering this particular question:

"Why don't men see things that need to be picked up?"

The truth is, every person - men AND women - have a certain tolerance for chaos & disorder in their living environment. A certain amount of "scattered objects and dust-bunnies" above which the irresistable desire to restore order kicks in. And the level is different for everyone.

So, in ANY given couple, someone will crack under the stress of needing to clean before the other person. Usually it's the woman.

However, when I got married, Beloved Wife had a higher tolerance for chaos than I did, and I could never figure out how SHE could manage to "not see things that needed to be picked up".

Which left me with three courses of action:

1) Change her
2) Clean up after her
3) Adopt her level of chaos tolerance

I chose option 3, and we've lived happily ever after, even if there ARE a few things that need putting away.

How YOU folks choose to solve the "chaos gap", I leave to your own discretion.

Posted by: Harvey at 03:33 PM | Comments (11) | Add Comment
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March 16, 2006

WIFELY REMINDERS

Bloggranddaughter ArmyWifeToddlerMom made mention of this in her meme answer:

~7)Least favorite thing about your significant other.
~he procrastinates, and is irritated with my "reminders".

9) Your significant other's least favorite thing about you
(again, without asking them).
~"reminding" him he has procrastinated.

Meanwhile, Bloggranddaughter Lee Ann of Lee Ann's View is getting called "mother" for passing out "reminders"

Which got me thinking... Beloved Wife TNT of Smiling Dynamite does NOT nag.

She does, however, "remind".

And pretty much every time she does, I find myself getting irritated.

And I have no idea why.

It's not like she's hitting me with a rolling pin at the time, or speaking in some gawdawful Gladys Kravitz voice, so it shouldn't cause me any discomfort.

To my own credit, I don't snap back at her, and I reply with an acquiessive "Yes, dear", because I *know* my reaction is inappropriate and needs to be squelched. Yet I always rankle a little at queries about my to-do list, as if she were questioning my competence to function as an adult.

Which she's not, so it makes no sense for me to react as if she were.

I'm puzzled about this, and so I ask - is there a way for a wife to give "reminders" that ISN'T irritating, or is this just a permanent skirmish in the battle of the sexes?

Posted by: Harvey at 06:34 AM | Comments (15) | Add Comment
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March 03, 2006

GUYS, I NEED A LITTLE HELP WITH THIS ONE

Bloggranddaughter Rave of Quic Nunc asks this question:

[My 15-year old son] has decided that it's fun to sneak out of the house at midnight.....

[snip]

Now, he did not have glassy eyes or smell of weed, which is good. But it doesn't clear him, by any means.

[snip]

WHY does he do this? I am not a 15 yr old male. I don't know what's going through his head.

Short answer - because it's fun.

As a former 15 yr old male, I confess that I occasionally snuck out after midnight. Sometimes not even for criminal purposes.

If I remember correctly, it had to do with the solitude. I knew the whole world was asleep, and no one was going to see me walking around. I lived in a small town that rolled up the sidewalks at 9pm, so this might not be applicable to Rave's case.

Traipsing about in the wee hours, there's nothing but you, your thoughts, and a sky filled with stars. No people, no distractions. It was a good time to contemplate who I was and what was going on in my life without worrying about being interrupted by an inquisitive parent.

Plus the added thrill of doing something forbidden.

As for what to do about it... I have no advice. I think it's just one of those "straining against the leash" phases. All I can say is that if you don't hold the line on this, he'll just find another boundary to test. Make a fuss about it to his face, but inwardly, be relieved that it's just a growing pain.

If any other former 15 yr old males have more insight, please share.

Posted by: Harvey at 09:43 AM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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